Mine.

Longest poem I've written! :O

Prayer rooms are good for cultivating thought.

Spoiler

So, this spawned from the song You found me and expanded from there.

It's written somewhat in the style of a Psalm, which I've never done before.

Yes, it is about Jesus, but I purposely left the pronouns uncapitalized so you can pretend it's a friend or a boyfriend or something, if you like.

Injured and bleeding,
You found me
Screaming for a savior
In the depths of my hell.

I was broken and defeated,
Alone in my sullenness
Flinching away from
Those who tried to help.

You saw me and
Wanted to come to my rescue
But I was unwilling and
Pushed you away.

You waited patiently,
Crying at my misery,
Preparing for the day
That I would return.

You gently spoke,
Began nudging me
Towards the rope
That had always been there.

It burned and chafed--
I didn't want to touch it.
Wasn't there another way?
Couldn't I take my treasures?

See, I've gathered them
They're covered in mire,
But look!
See this, shining?

It's beautiful, isn't it?
My diamond in the muck.
And look!
There are others here.

Aren't these people worth staying for?
And besides,
If I don't stay
How can I know the darkness?

Once my eyes become accustomed,
I can better
find others in the black.
I can help save them!

See?
Even here,
I can shine!
I'm doing great things!

It's too hard
To live in the light.
It burns the eyes
And they'll see.

They'll see
How insecure I am
Where all my stains are
How dirty I am.

I can't stand it!
They'll hurt me…
It's safer in this well.
No one can hurt me here.

Why should I climb up?
Why?
It's too hard
And I don't want to.
-------

Can I climb up now?
It's too dark--I can't see!
I never thought I'd go this deep--
Give me the Rope!

Please!
I don't care how much it burns!
Just get me out of here!
Please! Give me the rope!!
-------------

It's hard,
Walking in the light.
I want to go back.
It was easier, then.

But I remember the darkness,
How I was broken.
I can't go back.
I'll sink even deeper.

I can't afford that.
I have to keep climbing,
For it's not enough
To merely walk in the light.

I must go higher,
Walk faster,
Run after
The figure in the distance.

He is my lover
And I am his
And must run
Run

Run to him.
Run.
Run farther and faster,
Until I catch up.

He's right here.
He's with me.
I can hear him
Whispering in my ear.

I love him
And he loves me.
We are together--
I am his, and he is mine.

I will lean on him,
For he is strength.
I will worship him,
For he is beauty.

I can never go back.
I am with Ishi,
He loves me, I love him.
I am his, he is mine.

Love, love, love, love, love--
He give me confidence,
Gives me strength.
I love him, and he loves me.

Amazing.
He is amazing.
I am beautiful
Because he loves me.

(I am amazing, too.)

I am nothing without him,
I couldn't even
Grab hold of the rope.
He gave me strength,
He lifted me up.

This is where I'm alive.
This is where I'll stay.
Thank you, Jesus.
I love you.

I love you,
-----Love you,
----------Love you,
---------------Love you.

I have peace in you,
-----Faith in you,
----------Strength in you,
---------------Worth in you.

I will continue running after you,
For I am complete in you
For you are beautiful--
I am yours, and you are mine.
---------------------------

Very sorry about the white lines--I hate them, but I wanted tabs in there, and they don't work here, so....

Spoiler

Also, Ishi basically means beloved, like what you'd call your spouse. Apparently, God asked the Hebrews to call him that, instead of ba'al, which meant something like "ruler".

OK, so I was just reading it, and you were like, "Never mind." Here I am, from facebook. Haha...

What I didn't like is the repetition of "Love you..." at the end; and I do not understand the (I'm amazing, too) part. It was contradicting with the following stanza. Maybe you can clear that up? I'm not so sure that there's such a doctrine taught that a person is amazing? Most probable there is, but is it Bible based? You were created wonderfully, fearfully, but you - as a person? - amazing? You have to clear that up 'cause we don't want to have misunderstandings here. Like, why did you say you are amazing? Explanation please. It was like a line from nowhere. Or it was like you've rushed up that part and just inserted it. Plus, it was in parentheses(?).

'Nough said. The length was a bit overwhelming, but I got through it because of the short lines, which I really liked. I feel like (I'mma say it again) a song. Haha... no really, not all poems feel like that. Weird for me, huh. I also really liked the last and fourteenth stanzas. The structure is what I'm not so sure of, because well, I am dearly not good at that. ROFL As always, I liked your simple words. It's easy to understand so as to successfully bring a message.

Keep on writing!

I really liked this a whole lot. But, I do think that the length was waaaaay too long. I think you could have done a better job sorting through your thoughts, because some stanzas didn't even feel like they needed to be there. Like, that. . . Love you, Love you, Love you, Love you. Umm, ok?? We understand!!! haha.. it's kinda just wasting space.

Also, just a little grammar errors here and there:
For instance, your pronouns.....some are capitalized, some are not. Please decide which way you want to go.

fireheart wrote:He is my lover
And I am HisCapital
And must run
Run

Run to him.Not Capital
Run.
Run farther and faster,
Until I catch up.

He's right here.
He's with me.
I can hear himNot Capital
Whispering in my ear.

I love HimCapital
And he loves me.Not Capital
We are together--
I am His, and He is mine.Capital, Capital

I will lean on Him,Capital
For He is strength.Capital
I will worship him,Not Capital
For He is beauty.

Capital

And, then for spelling of words:

fireheart wrote:I t was easier, then.

Get rid of the space in the word, "It"

fireheart wrote:Love, love, love, love, love--
He give me confidence, He gives me confidence and strength
Gives me strength.
I love him, and he loves me.

Thank you for writing this piece about your feelings towards God. I have the exact same emotions. I've been there too! Now, I am definitely a STRONG Christian. Keep writing, and maybe try to sum up a lot of your emotions into shorter poems! hahaha.

Hello. I'm popping in for a quick review. I liked this poem, but I agree that it was a bit too long. I loved the beginning. The lines were of close to the same length, the imagery was beautiful and it really conveyed emotion. Towards the middle, however, it lost some of it's power. The format started changing and the content seemed almost repetitive and drawn out too much. I was completely hooked during about the first five stanzas, but after that I started losing attention. I would tighten it up and make the rest of the stanzas more solid and concise like the first few. Also, I would do something to clarify the rope thing. When I first read that my immediate thought was of a noose which I knew it couldn't be. Perhaps that's just my strange mind though.

Keep up the good work!
Masquerade

KARATEPUPPY WITH A FIRE HEART!! xD *HUGGLES TIGHTLY*
Soo here I am to review your poem! I see that the others already took care of the criticism so I'm just going to keep this simple and probably a little short too XD

I really like this write! This really is in the style of a Psalm. It starts all dark-ish and with the person feeling all miserable and at the end it ends all happy-ish and optimistic.
I love the idea behind this and how you worked it out! The repetition of "I love you" didn't really work for me though. But maybe that's just me XD

Other than that this is a really nice write and I enjoyed reading it =)
Hope I helped a little.
*huggles*
-qaralynn-