Secrets of the seed

A body of flawless strength,
the humble Sequoia
stands, poised, of faithful,
innumerable years.

Elegant, majestic branches
rise up – naked adornment;
crooked as witches’ fingers.

Won’t you tell me your secret, little seed?
Appease my awe; Fathom
the incomprehensible,

divulge enlightenment
upon another inexplicable reality:
why does your tree
live longer than a human?

Hi, Isha here to review! ^^

And, I'm going to say that I really liked this piece. xD This review might not be exceptionally helpful, but I felt like I should at least say something, since I clicked on it and read it and all of that.

So, to start off with- I will list the one thing that I wasn't fond of. It was mostly in the middle of the poem, but there were spots of it in a few other places. Your word choice was a little... awkward in some areas. Using the vocabulary that you did isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in some places, I honestly felt like it could actually be dumbed down a little bit. Some of the wording just seemed a little forced, like you were thinking of synonyms to other words and plopping them in there just because they sounded a tad more complex.

Using big words in poetry is a good thing, in a lot of cases, but you have to make sure that your fancy words don't come across as forced-sounding. Now, a few of your more elaborate vocabulary did sound good, but like I said, there were areas where it just sounded like padding. Don't be too afraid to use more.... simple adjectives.

On the other hand, the imagery was excellent, and it was definitely an original poem. The ending was by far my favorite part of it.

Sorry for the short review, I hope that it helped a little bit though. xD

Keep writing,
~~Ish.

It's review day! And I have come to review. This is a nice simple poem, I quite like it. It has a nice feel to it and a relatively good flow. You have described nature rather well.

I agree with Isha, the words where a little unnecessary and awkward in some areas. The words sometimes did seem a little forced and really did nothing but made the poem more complicate to read. If the whole point of a line is to show of your vocabulary then it really should not be there. Although using more complex words is not a bad thing make sure you do not over do it.

Isha was also correct to say that the imagery was very good. You have really captured the subject matter very well!
Good work.

Hi AmeliaCogin!

Like the previous reiewers have said, this is a really god poem. And as it's so good, I don't have much constructive criticsm, but I'll tell you why it's so good.

- The flow. The flow in the poem was really good. Nothing seemed force or stuck or anything like that. So, briliant flow.
- The topic. It's really good how you managed to take such a plain topic (such as a tree) and make it seemed so magnificent and enchanting. That was really good.
-The choice of words. I guess this is mainly why the tree seemed so awesome and mystical, you use all these big words to describe it. And that's really good because it puts a new twist on out perspective instead of the normal: brown, strong, sturdy, etc.people would use to describe a tree. I really did like the choice of words, it makes me view the world differently from how I would normally view it. Good job on that.
-Imagery. There's also some really good imagery in this piece.
- The question. The question at the end gave the poem a really powerful end. I really liked that.

Overall, I don't have much to say on what have to be improved, as I can't see any. But, really god job on the poem. Keep writing!