Spoiler
This is a contest entry for "Be My Eyes."
The feeling of feet
squishing through mud
is how my pea plants feel
rooted into the ground.
My pea plants are green,
but of course,
you don’t know
what green is.
Green is the smell
of the falling rain
pit-pat on the roof,
smells fresh and alive.
Green is the delicate
frames of the plants
that you keep
by your hospital cot.
My pea plants eat sun
like you eat oatmeal;
for every meal
of every day.
My pea plants drink water
through their toes
imagine that!
they are very thirsty.
My pea plants make peas
you’ve had those once
on a trip to the country
they are sweet, like sugar.
People say we are as alike
as peas in a pod
despite your disabilities,
we are almost the same.
Someday, maybe,
you’ll touch my pea plants
feel the sun on your skin, too
dig your toes into the soil.
I love you, sister,
and I am sorry
I can’t give you
more than that.
It's really beautiful. Lovely descriptions, and the somewhat sad, story behind the words. The format seems solid, flows smoothly and easy to get caught up it and stay on track. No little snags that I noticed at all! I really enjoyed this piece. Good job with the ending, it was one of my favorite verses. I liked the way you descriped green and the peas, it was all very well done. Great work!
There's nothing I can criticize about so this is going to be a pretty short review XD I love how you have described the color green as the smell of falling rain and the smell of fresh and alive. That sentence totally made me smile because it's just really beautiful. It could totally be a quote! 