I thought I'd escape-
I'd be better off dead.
On the back of their wings,
I canyetI'd find a different word here.reach the sky.
On fire and bright,Doesn't really make sense. I know it's supposed to be poetic and all, but, still, doesn't really give me anything.
On the back of their wings,. Hmm.... great ending stanza, but I think "now" would fit better here than yet.
I can yet reach the sky
The first promised anything,I don't really think this angel fits the other ones. They are trying to convince you to not die, giving you help and aide, but they also speak with authority. This one is babying you, saying it'd take your place. But angels wouldn't want that.
Any service at all-
He'd gladly trade places,
Saving me from my fall.