Under The Stars

Under The Stars

Alone under the stars,
Just you and me.
My heart beats against yours,
Trying to let it pour it's feelings.
I run my hand through your hair,
as if it were nothing but air.
Our eyes lock in dance,
Forever in an intertwining trance.
I lean in towards your face,
To have one last embrace.
My lips brush against yours,
As my heartbeat roars.
The stars dance around us,
Never ending.

Short and sweet. It's not long, but it contains so much emotion in it.... I saw no errors in it, and I thought it was extremely well written. Great job! (Sorry this wasn't much help otherwise.)

Wow! For a poem that isn't that long, it contained emotion! It gives me the romantic feel of a slow dance, and I love it! Such a beautiful poem, amazing job and keep it up!

- gleek456 <3

Really, really nice poem. Even in something this short you managed to convey so much emotion that it gave an instant connection. Great job!

Hi if I have to be honest I think the poem is ok, I say this because I read so many other kind of love poems and found it a bit cliche.

For example, with this section:

I lean in towards your face,
To have one last embrace.
My lips brush against yours,
As my heartbeat roars.

It is nice but t's just that I heard it so many times.

I like this sentence:

I run my hand through your hair,
as if it were nothing but air.

It is short but at the same time it captures that instant.

In conclusion the poem is nice but it lacks uniqueness which I think it is something very important which defines a poet and its persona. I do apologize if I seemed harsh but I am just trying to be honest ... good luck