Untitled Poem?

So I guess this would be free-verse...I wrote this last night:

He pushes himself too hard,
focusing only on work,
not for himself but to satisfy his parents' expectations.

She wears far too little covering,
with far too much padding
only to catch the eye of a meaningless, hormonal boy.

Everywhere, I see people living only for others
rather than themselves;
following an ambition belonging to another;
neglecting their own.

In our younger years,
too many of us are preoccupied with the thoughts of our peers;
we worry about holding an expectation,
we worry about some forming negative opinions,
and others not forming one at all.

We fear being ignored
so we do whatever we can to follow other's demands
and often, we lose ourselves in the process.

We expect life to hold more for us,
yet do nothing to fill the void of loneliness.

If only this, if only that;
it seems no one understands that we have what we need;
it's within ourselves.

When we hide from the world,
and present a different front,
true happiness may be visible,
but just out of reach.

Why not enjoy the time we have now,
rather than later?
Why hold off on self-discovery?

Eventually, we'll all realize that the best person to be is our self,
so why not make that realization now?

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I'm not really good at judging my own poetry(if this is even a poem...I'm not learned in poem format), so let me know what you think

I thought this was really good! I can't find any grammer errors and I thought you conveyed a really clear message when writing,
It kept me interested from beginning to end so well done and please continue writing!

I think this is a very good poem. What you wrote is very true and real. Very good poem.

it was realy a good poem.....................i liked the content and the thought u put forward..................

Very good. I like this poem because it shows, to me at least, that you don’t have to fake for someone else because in the end you are the only one who pays for it in the end. It was very well written. Keep up the good work!

This flows less like poetry and more like prose...Which is ok! It's still pretty good.

~Hopeispeace

Great poem! I could feel the passion in you writing. It put me in a different world and I felt like I was the narrator.It gave me a whole new perspective on what people go through and how they change. Keep on writing!

I really liked this poem. It was very clear and true in this modren age. Everyone lives for others, well, not everyone but you get my point. I think some of the lines were way too long and felt like they needed to be cut in half or something. The flow was rather choppy but I think it worked for this poem. I liked how you started the poem, with the two stanza's of imagery, then the narrarator speaking, it was a good idea. My favorite stanza was by far the seventh one. And I agree with FireFall, that your words pulled me in at the beginning and kept my interest throughout the poem. And that your message was well thought out and (like I said before) very clear and obvious to see. It wasn't hidden or abstracted, it was blunt and to the point in just a couple stanza's.

Job well done.
Emmy

I enjoyed your poem very much, as someone who sometimes can feel really unsecured- I really connected to it.
I liked the way you began with the description of two fairly normal people- In a more revealing way, then passed to your own conclusion.
I do want to say that I think this truly lovely poem might belong to the lyric poetry section as it describes an event or environment from a personal, emotional view- But I may be wrong.

Anyway, I loved your poem, I think it's great, and I wanted you to know that.
Keep writing.