I am...

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I am not the vocabulary queen
Nor am I the spelling bee
And definitely not the grammar police
I - -

I write from heart
My words rhyme with the times
Life happens and I am its journalist
No newspaper article will ever concur
With my life’s opinion:
I am not just any poet --

A rose is not a rose anymore
A red ball is not an object of lesser proportion
As you and I are. Though one of us can’t speak,
People see us differently, my red ball
But you are much more than just that:
You are a smooth, latex air pimple
Bouncing on the pavement’s face
Don’t conclude my insanity of teenage dreams
Being thumped with each bounce

I am a poet; not the greatest of this time
And I am not a decent novelist of any sort
I am the searcher of words
I am a poet
I am the soul of poetry
Last edited by Elizabeth on Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:21 am, edited 1 time in total.




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I really liked this. (Which is rare, trust me.)
I especially enjoyed the "A rose is not a rose anymore" line.

The italicised stanza stood out, for reasons other than the italitisizationness.... (so spelled because I can't spell that word.) But its not a good standing out. It doesn't match the rest of the poem, and it breaks the flow in a manner that makes me go *eew, that doesn't go!* in my most pirssy and uptight manner. Kind of like the cheerleader who thinks she is the almighty cheer.

but yeah, good stuff. You have earned a hug. *hug*
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Should I add in a line where I then state what I mean by a ball is not a ball anymore, and then go with the italitcs?
*hugs back* Aww, this is the nicest first thing that hasn't made me cry in a while. :P




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Well it sounds like you're talking about an actual red ball, and it breaks the illusion that this red ball is a metephore for another person. We, and by we I mean me personally, get that impression that the ball is a person when you say "people see us differently: my red ball" which implies to me that you are relating a persona to a bouncy ball. We get that its not a ball anymore, but the itallics makes me think that the ball is a ball, and its confusing.
Beware of the scary banana fingers! For they are mushy, and yellow.

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I am not the vocabulary queen
Nor am I the spelling bee
And definitely not the grammar police
I - -

not the best of beginnings

A rose is not a rose anymore
A red ball is not an object of lesser proportion

lesser proportion? that sounds funky. i mean, take this as an example - when you see this little red ball, does somebody call out, "HEY LOOK AT THE RED BALL OF LESSER PROPORTIONS!" if you do, that's cool, i guess...just a bit wordy.

As you and I are. Though one of us can’t speak,
People see us differently, my red ball

just "red ball", i think. "my" works, but it sounds...weird.

But you are much more than just that:
You are a smooth, latex air pimple
Bouncing on the pavement’s face
Don’t conclude my insanity of teenage dreams
Being thumped with each bounce

i actually liked this! =]

I am a poet; not the greatest of this time
And I am not a decent novelist of any sort
I am the searcher of words
I am a poet
I am the soul of poetry

you dragged out the idea of being a poet. i think it was good, but i also think the LAST LINE (the very last line) could've have had a bit more sizzle or...just...interest. soul, if you will.
Carpe Diem.




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I don't think the third stanza really fits in. I mean, you have such amazingly clear imagery for the first two lines and then for the last line, but the third one is a little bit metaphorical and, as such, doesn't seem to belong. I'm not saying it's bad, but it seems like it would be more comfortable in another poem.

Still... the three stanzas that belonged together were awesome. :)
Last edited by Snoink on Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
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I agree that the third stanza just seems out of place.
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Not that I'm giving up hope on that third stanza, but as you read what happens when I've taken it out, is there anyway to replace it with? Anything? Perhaps tell me of a new introduction, seeing as to Poet God dislikes it.

I am...
by Elizabeth Mathers
Edited 4-5-06

I am not the vocabulary queen,
Nor am I the spelling bee,
And definitely not the grammar police:
But still I write.

I write from heart,
My words rhyme with the times.
Life happens and I am its journalist
No newspaper article will ever concur
With my life’s opinion:

I am a poet; not the greatest of this time
And I am not a decent novelist of any sort
I am the searcher of words
I am a poet
I am the soul of poetry



Powerful men have a way of avoiding consequences.
— Dr. Harrison Wells, The Flash