I Have Everything But Love

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Gender Female
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I feel alone, but
I am in a crowd.

I am touched and kissed
but not loved.

I am powerful, but
feared.

I have money, grace, beauty, respect, land
and everything ever wanted.

But the one thing I don't have
is the thing I want the most
love.
IHI means hi backwards, forwards, vertical, horizontal, and any other way and is pronounced by saying the individual letters, like so I H I. I came up with IHI as my thing, don't take it or I will send a scary monster after you ; D




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Gender Female
Points 4066
Reviews 88
Howdy there!

I think this is really good, just a few nitpicks though.

I think you could use better words, try using a thesaurus?
I am touched and kissed


This point isn't entirely true if you are saying that you don't have love.
I have money, grace, beauty, respect, land
and everything ever wanted.


I think you should put a comma after the word 'most' it will make the word love stand out more!
But the one thing I don't have
is the thing I want the most
love.


Overall I think this is really good. Well done!
~TheGillianGill~

There's a bright light, see it in the distance? It's called your future.




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Points 447
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Hello! So, I like to get straight to the point. I like it. The idea is good and relatable and its well written. There are some things I noticed.
1. I agree with @thegilliangill, you should use other words, just to add to the feel of the poem. Also, the line about everything you ever wanted doesn't make sense if you dont have love.

2.
I am touched and kissed
but not loved.

There should be a comma between kissed and but

3.
I am powerful, but
feared.

enter after the comma here so it says
I am powerful,
but feared.

overall i like it, just change those little things.

keep writing! :)
O thin men of Haddam,/Why do you imagine golden birds?/Do you not see how the blackbird/Walks around the feet/Of the women about you?
-Wallace Stevens




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Points 517
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Its good but can be better but I liked it.
! Time to Write !




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Points 1244
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This poem is well-thought, but it does need a little work. The third stanza is the one that bothered me the most, especially in it's meaning.
"I am powerful, but feared"
Most people are afraid of power in another person's hands. "I am powerful and feared" would make sense, but not with the point of the poem. "I am powerful, but not feared" or "I am powerless, but feared" would go well into the poem, but it all depends on what you're trying to say.
Overall, well done.



Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
— Niels Bohr