farewell

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I really like the idea of this poem and the emotion, and your imagery is stunning. I do have a few suggestions, but of course it's totally up to you, it's your work, not mine!

All the words I've had to bear,
Once sheathed in an opaque affair. I just think it needs 'an' to make it a bit more grammatically correct and add another syllable to help the rhythm
I finally write upon this page, This is your choice, but it sounds more correct and personal to me
Now in plain sight, on center stage.

From my mind poured, playfully penned,
Words sway in tandem with this bittersweet end,
Of a friendship that meant much more,
Than a heartfelt goodbye or playful hello. I think the rhythm would sound better if these two lines followed the rhyme scheme used in the first stanza

These words that flow down from my mind in style,
Prove to me it's all been worthwhile
To sit here and rhyme and rant and write,
About all that you are, and all that you might
Accomplish one day and where you will go,
Be it France or England or somewhere laden with snow.I thought this line needed one less syllable. Having said this, I love this stanza.

Just know this, my dear, that whenever 'tis night
And the moon shines upon you, and you bask in it's light
Emotions will flow in this heart of mine,
Knowing wherever I am the same moon does shine-
And I'll whisper those words that I know to be true,
Those four simple words, "I'll always love you". This is my favourite stanza, it's so sweet and made me smile

I'm sorry if I sound nitpicky and I didn't mean to sound harsh because I genuinely thought this poem was well written and touching!
Hope this helps
-Megan

Your poem was amazing!The words were vary simple but sweet and i could feel the emotion you were portraying.Excellent job.

Thank you, both of you. and there is no need to apologize for being "nitpicky." thank you for your suggestions!

I liked this poem but this sentence confused me. Once sheathed in opaque affair. I didn't really get it but other then that I like it.