The Mathematician Problem

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Your story is about a mathematician in a pineapple under the sea borrowing a pencil.


Every Monday night, I practice my math skills for my next class that I have to teach. This collage is a nut case when it comes to learning something decent, like Math. So I need to be there to try to get my students motivated.

Looking around the living room, I was captivated by the fish swimming by my window. Some of them waved so I waved back.

I sighed, getting back to work.

I started to write the hardest math problem I could find in the math book when the tip of my pencil slide across the white sheet.

Shit.

It broke.

Slamming the pencil against the brown wooden table, I looked through the drawers on my desk. Nope, no pencils there.

I looked back on the table, no pencils there either. I got off my seat and started to look around the house for a single pencil.

Since I lived in a pineapple, it wasn't that easy to roam around. My house was more smaller than my neighbor's, and he lives in a pineapple too.

I searched around, slamming drawers, looking under furniture, scanning the holes I had placed in the walls.

Yes, I was a nut case. I had to tutor one of my students and they were really stupid, and, well, you get where I'm going, (I hope!).

There was no pencil at all.

Since I couldn't find my pencil, I ran outside, locking my front door. The world was an amazing place, well, the one I lived in.

I lived under the sea. People drove sea horse carriages, boats, ships, whatever they could find to ride in. The streets were covered in algae and seaweed, beautiful.

And that wasn't sarcastic. It was beautiful.

I headed down the pebal sidewalk, down to my neighbor's house. It was a huge pineapple, unlike anyone I've ever seen. The colors of it were amazing, orange, yellow, red, peach, like mine but his were better.

Reaching the brown door, I knocked a couple of times. God, were my hands scaly! Well, I was a fish, so yeah.
In a heartbeat, the neighbor opened the door.

His yellow body was the brightest thing I've ever seen! Oh, and he was a sponge named Bob. Actually, I just called him Bob, but he called himself, like others, Sponge Bob Square Pants.

“Oh hello there neighbor!” he said a little too cheerfully.

I always thought he was a little over the hedge.

“Hi, Bob.” I said.

“What'd you want?” he asked.

“Can I borrow a pencil...?” I asked.

With a huge smile, he said, “Sure! Why not?” and marched inside to get me a simple pencil.

God, he always freaked me out. He was always a little too hyper or too happy and his dumb Starfish friend freaked me out.

Was I the only normal one who lived under the sea here?!

He came back, handing me the pencil. I fake miled, trying to show my appreciation, if I even had any of some sort.

“Here you go!” he said.

“Thanks,” I said, waving.

“Oh, you're going already? Why don't you stay for some coffee, oh no, not that... tea?”

Feeling the urge to move all the way across the sea, I shook my head.

“Sorry Bob, but I gotta finish this for my next class...” I said apologetically.

“Oh, it's okay!” he said, voice as squeaky as always.

That sent horrible shivers down my spine. I walked away, speed walked down the sidewalk and into my warm, welcoming home.

At least I'd be able to finish the work in peace.
"If I look like a monster,' he says roughly, 'then no one will be surprised when I do monstrous things." - A.B. Poranek




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hey :) I'm guessing this is for the Big Contest, and so good luck! I like your sense of humour here (sorry, I guess that's "humor" for you :P) and I did honestly chuckle a little out loud, which is quite bad because I'm in the library in a quiet study session xD

I do have a few things to point out to you that you might want to consider.
Firstly, there are a few spelling mistakes that another read-through would probably cure, but here they are:
This collage is a nut case

I'm pretty sure you mean "college", as a "collage" is a piece of artwork

when the tip of my pencil slide across the white sheet.

You're in the past tense, so you want to get rid of the e on "slide" :P

I looked back on the table, no pencils there either.

Not really spelling, but I would recommend a semi-colon here instead of the comma: "I looked back on the table; no pencils there either."

My house was more smaller than my neighbor's, and he lives in a pineapple too.

Sorry, "more smaller" isn't allowed :) If the neighbour lives in a pineapple too, maybe adjust the sentence to factor this in and accentuate the smallness at the same time, like this: "My house was smaller than my neighbor's, even though he lived in a pineapple too."


From here on, a little niggler in my head was thinking that if this character has lived in the sea all his life and has been a fish all his life (and has never known anything different), then your comments like "The world was an amazing place, well, the one I lived in.

I lived under the sea." and "God, were my hands scaly! Well, I was a fish, so yeah."
While I appreciate your need to show the reader his world (and I really got that) maybe you could do so with a little more subtlety? Like instead of "I lived under the sea", have something a bit more "Even in the middle of the day, the sunbeams had difficulty finding us underneath the waves/sea/ocean". Do you see what I mean?

Otherwise, nice one! I like how you brought in Spongebob Squarepants as a nice cultural interlude :P I think you did really nicely with your random story theme
~*cottonrulz*~ xD
Here's a story of a brother by the name of Othello,
He liked white women and he liked - green jello... - Reduced Shakespeare Company




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I was going to correct a few errors, but it seems I've been beet to it. That's alright. Less work for me!
This is sort of funny in a strange way. Not bad, man, not bad.
~HopeisPeace




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It seemed a bit rambly. I thought it was a bit comical though I noticed that there were quite a few errors. I'm not going to correct you, since someone else already did that.
I kind of don't appreciate how you took the whole pineapple from Spongebob but hey. It was pretty good.
One day, I held up this muffin. I held it up to the light, letting the gentle rays glint over the slight glaze on the mound that protrudes from its ruffled clothing. And then, I said to myself "I'm going to take this muffin and MURDER IT."
And that, was how CrazyMuffinAssassin was born.



who you become at your worst isn't who you are
— canopy