Dear Brother

Hija,

First of all, I'd appreciated this because I am a little sister to an older brother as well. My brother isn't that mean, but I've definitely noticed a change in him over the years. Lets see....nitpicks:

Dear Brother,
I would like to know
When all this started.
When you changed from the loving brother
To an inconsiderate bastard.Nice. I can totally sympathize with that!
When life became so dull
You needed drugs and alcohol to spice it up.
You became so angry, yet so refined
When you say such mean words,
and started calling your sister a bitch and a slut.
When suddenly you're not the big brother I looked up to.
Does anyone else notice?
The same that I do? this line doesn't make sense to me
You’ve only changed to me I suppose.
You hold an air to you,
An air that makes you king,
And keeps your friends following.
But, someday you will fall.
Your friends will be gone,
And like always,
I will be the on the ground to catch you.
Love,
Your younger sister

As you can see I didn't have a lot of nitpicks. This is rough, but I can definitely connect to it, so nice job there. Good work. And remember that as your brother gets older he will become more and more like he was before.

Sare

Hi, now as older brother, this made me think about how I act with my sister. This piece made me feel bad and love my sister that much more . I can't say anything against this piece, now excuse me as I go hug my sister lol

Sorry but I just have to say how sweet that is Clay. Big brothers should always think about how what they do affects their little sisters--and you seem like a really nice big brother! Sorry, lion, for carrying on this discussion on your doorstep, but I think it's a testament to you that your work inspires things like Clay's remark. Kudos to both of you!

Sare

I totally agree with you sare, i reread clay's response multiple times each time I did a little awww. You sound like a REALLY good brother!

All the grammar I can notice is taken, so I guess all I can say is nice job, and I feel for you!

I can really feel the emotion in this piece because this is what I'm going through right now with my sister. Brilliant writing!

Something that bugs me:

I will be the on the ground to catch you.

Should it be "I'll be the one on the ground to catch you"?

I don't have much to say about this but I just wanted to add that I really enjoyed reading it. I've read a couple other of your writings and I really like your style. My favorite line from this was,

"You hold an air to you,
An air that makes you king,
And keeps your friends following."

It's funny because before I read that, I was just thinking that your writing has an air to it and I really like it. It feels like I'm reading from your personal notebook. I love when I get to read things like this. Keep writing.