Lovesick Loser

'My blue eyed boy.'
Every time I walk past you in the hallway,
That's what I think.
I know this isn't so.
But really, I could not care less.
I think I'm falling for you.
Every twitch you make seem to be of the utmost significance.
Every word you utter,
I seem to absorb and engrave into memory.

You must think me to be creepy,
A stalker,
A psycho,
Who stares at you 24/7,
But really,
If you only knew the truth,
It'd make so much sense.

If only you would talk to me.
Or maybe I to you,
But I know no such thing shall happen.
I am shy.
You are the school's sport captain.
You run as fast as thunder,
And smile, sweet as fairyfloss.

Apologies,
That was completely irrelevant was it not?

But it's true, really,
Your eyes seems to be like those of the sea,
You hair, smooth as silk,
Even though I've never ran my hand through them,
I long so badly to.
Tell me,
Am I doing something known as falling in love?

Do you even notice me?
Me, the science geek who sit on the back of the class?
I suppose not.
Everyone loves you.
You have no reason to see me,
Let alone think I exist.

I suppose I'm deluding myself,
Dreaming of the day,
When your arms will be around me,
Your lips forming the words, 'I love you,' in my ear.

I'm really just killing myself more and more aren't I?
For that will never happen.
What will happen is,
I'd be in the corner,
Watching,
Watching you with your arms around another girl;
Pretty and pink.
Me; completely out of your mind.

Yet I still held hope.
For,
“When you have lost hope, you have lost everything.”
Yes, I'm delusional.
But that doesn't matter.
Because I'm much happier delusional.

Living in reality,
Is hard
And Painful.
I have long abandoned that world,
And can not go back to it.

But the day that,
You sneered at me,
When I walked up to you.
You proved that;
You hate me.
I get it.

I'll stop trying to be such a lovesick loser now.

Spoiler

Sorry for the monster of a poem.
Please tell me what you think and rip it into shreds.
Also, the quote:
"When you have lost hope, you have lost everything."
Came from 'I Am Number Four' by Pittacus Lore

Heylo Heylo~!

That was a really nice and cute poem! But it did have some problems with the flow.
Also, try putting the single words in the line. It will look less word-y and give out more meaning.
Like:

For that will never happen.
What will happen is,
I'd be in the corner,
Watching,
Watching you with your arms around another girl;
Pretty and lip-glossed.

How about this:
For that will never happen.
What will happen is,
I'd be in the corner; watching,Watching you with your arms around another girl;
Pretty and lip-glossed.

Yeah?
like that, there were other places too.
Oh and you need to put your puntuaction marks in the right places. Many a times you didn't put them. Other than that, it was a well written poem! I feel sorry for the girl who felt that way and her crush just completely ignored her xD

Well done!

Hiya,

So, I really liked this, it was sort of fun and slightly sad at the same time.

I like the idea of it, and if you keep working on it, it can have a lot of potential as a very good poem. I love the title, "Lovesick loser" sort of sums up most high school life!

I'm really just killing myself more and more aren't I?
For that will never happen.

I love these lines, it's like questioning your own sanity, but being OK with it!

The ony thing you need to watch, is not turn it into a story too much. Keep with the flow of poetry and make sure you read it as you go along. Words like "Mouth" tends to ruin the flow of the poem, try using softer sounding words like "Lips" or "tip of my tongue" I know they don't sound smooth, but they will make the poem flow better and keep with the general theme.

You have really written down what people are thinking inside, and I think it's good that you can take a serious subject and turn it into a great poem.

Sorry for the lame-ish review Please keep writing, I want to see some more of your work!

HAYLEY
xx

I really liked this poem! I especially liked the idea and story behind it. Something that I think a lot of people can relate to in one way or another. (I would be one of those people...) ahahhah!
Anyways, I really liked it! Also, I loved the title. It was what caught my attention and I thought it was cute and creative.

I thought that the flow was okay. For me, it wasn't so much that it didn't flow together well, it was just more that it seemed like a story. It lost that "poetry" feeling. I don't know if that makes a whole lot of sense? Ahaha, anyways it was still good, but just did`t seem like a poem as much by the end. More of a flow of the narrator's thoughts (not too sure if it is about you or not). I actually think that this could make a really good story. Perhaps that`s why I liked it so much

I also found a little typo here:

Who stares at you 24/7,

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem! It was cute and enjoyable
Keep up the lovely writing!