Rainbow (Chapter 1)

I know, my name is very weird. "Rainbow". I didn't know that anything was wrong with it. In fact, it is what made me unique. My story is also very unique. It all started on a lazy saturday morning. "Rainbow! You gotta get up for your first day in high school!". My parents were big shouters. I wasn't really popular at my old school because, I was very goth and people were scared of me. High school could be a new experience for me since there are all different types of cliques. I pulled on my low cut tee with one sleeve hanging down that was red with a big black heart and my black skinny jeans. I hurried up and ate breakfast and headed to the bus stop.
As I got on the bus, it was like an ocean. The bus was filled with a bunch of different people. I sat next to this nice looking girl. She had blond hair with braids, big bright blue eyes, and a skinny face. Her clothes were very cutesy. I attempted to break the awkward silence. "Hello, My name is Rainbow, What's your name? Are you new?" "Hey. I'm Rainee. I'm not new to this district and you are simply not who I would normally hang out with," Gee. She was nice. I bet things will get better once I go to my classes. As the bus rolled up, The school was HUGE. I went to a private school in Florida but in Wisconsin, this was public highschool. There were 2 black and purple flags standing in front on the school. I'm guessing those were its school colors. Oh, I couldn't wait to start my day here.

Sorry this is a little short but critique how ever you'd like.

I like this. It really to short to review but I'll try.
I like Rainbow. Even in this short little piece she has a personality.
I don't like Rainee so far, she seems ... mean. Well this needs more,but this is great so far.

Hi Scarlet. I'm here to review your novel. I'll try to read all the chapters that are already up. One thing that I suggest you is to make shorter paragraphs, that way the reader will feel like reading it. Another thing is to make spaces to separate the dialog from the paragraph.

Like this:

Scarlet15 wrote:I attempted to break the awkward silence.

"Hello, My name is Rainbow, What's your name? Are you new?"

"Hey. I'm Rainee. I'm not new to this district and you are simply not who I would normally hang out with," Gee.

She was nice. I bet things will get better once I go to my classes.

Something that I really wanted to point out is the next thing; so your character is called Rainbow and she's goth, that's contradictory (poor her) and certainly interesting. xD Why is she so excited? I don't think these people would be so optimistic.

Scarlet15 wrote:Oh, I couldn't wait to start my day here.

I don't know... there is something to think about. Unless she dresses like gothic 'cause she likes it but that's not her personality, if that's the case you should empatisize that.

Scarlet15 wrote:As I got on the bus, it was like an ocean.

It was like an ocean? How's an ocean? What do you mean by that? That is something you need to write down here.

Nitpicks:

Scarlet15 wrote:I wasn't real popular at my old school because, I was very goth and people were scared of me.

The word in read should be "really".

Scarlet15 wrote: As the bus rolled up, The school was HUGE.

Don't use caps in this case, to give the effect you wanna give write "huge" in italics.

Scarlet15 wrote:There were 2 black and purple flags standing in front on the school.

You should write two in words.

~Solvy<3

Thanks for critiquing it. The thing is.. it's kinda obvious. An ocean is full of all those exotic creatures and people where scared of her because she dressed gothically. You can dress like a goth person but have a bubbly attitude

Hi! Thanks for reading my story!

So, I like this so far. I like the way the MC's personality comes through in so few paragraphs. Still, I do think there are a few things you could change to improve it.

I would second the edits Solvalery suggested, especially starting a new line when someone new starts speaking. As it is it makes the conversations quite difficult to read, because all the dialogue is squished up. Also, there was one point where it switched from past to present tense:

I bet things will get better once I go to my classes.

This should be in past tense to fit with the rest of the story, so something along the lines of "I hoped things would get better once I went to my classes." Because if she's telling the story from a perspective of having already experienced it, it doesn't really make sense the way it is at the moment.

From the introduction I'd definitely like to read more of the story though, so I hope you post more of it!