I stand in the tiny examination room, the purple, grey, and blue curtain drawn around me.
"Take off your close and put this on, Sam." Mrs. Manula instructs.
She sticks her arm in the tiny crack between the wall and curtain, a drafty looking hospital gown in her hand.
"Mrs. Manula, I really don't think this is necessary..."
"Do it, Sam!" She commands.
I scramble about, stripping off my worn out clothes and slipping into the gown. It's an ugly looking thing, with blue and white butterflies all over it's dull grey, thin material. She didn't even give me the right size!
"Are you dressed yet?" The old ladies soft voice drifts over to me, gentler then before.
"Yeah."
She pulls the curtain back a bit more so she can squeeze her way into the claustrophobic room.
"Okay, I'm going to need to examine your full body, you know what that means right?" She asks, beginning to look at my scalp, probing and prodding with her fingers.
"Wait....everywhere? Including my, uh-"
"Yes, including your ladie parts." She interjects. "I have to make sure you weren't sexually abused."
"But I wasn't!" I object.
"Just like you were jumped today? Not a chance, I still have a job to do."
Her fingers hit todays lump from having my head slammed into the kitchen wall, making me flinch and cry out before I can stop myself.
"I'm guessing that hurt." She sighs.
I keep my mouth shut, biting down hard on my lower lip. She continues her examination, working her way down from my head to my feet. About an hour and a half later, she finally announces she's finished.
"Now, I want you tell me the truth Samantha. Has your father or anyone else been hitting you, Jacob, or Summer? You can tell me, I'll make sure whoever gave you all those injuries can't come within a mile of you without getting thrown in a jail cell." Her voice is gentle but her expression's hard, fierce.
"Please Mrs. Manula, just let this go. We're fine, really. Just let it go. Please." I plead.
"I want you back down here tomorrow morning." She says. "And every other morning after that. If there's anymore marks on you, I'm calling Social Services."
I nod and except the late pass she's handing me. With that, I hurry out of the office.
"Sammie, where have you been?" Leah, one of my friends from dance team, calls from her locker.
I make my way through the stream of students and to her. I feel a twinge of envy as she pulls her dance bag out. I used to be the best one on that team. Mrs. Hillen even said I may have had a chance at a dance scholarship. Everyone used to be jealous of me since, being captain, I got to help make up the routines.
Then Mom died and I had to quit so that I could take care of Summer and Jake.
"Heiman freaked when I told her I got jumped this morning. I don't know what's wrong with that woman." I sigh with frustration.
"Do you really not know who did it?" She asks.
"I swear. If I knew who it was I'd tell someone." I smile reassuringly at her, not the least bit surprised that Leah knows even though she's not in my first period English class.
What can I say, news travels fast in this school.
"So what's Mrs. Manula say?" Leah slams her locker shut and turns back to me.
"Oh, she just gave me some pain meds. and an ice pack." I lie quickly.
No need to worry the poor girl about something she can't fix.
"Okay, you going to third period?" She pulls me with her, not waiting for my answer.
I force a laugh but the truth is, my dad bent that wrist back yesterday and it hurts like something I shouldn't say.
She drags me with her to one of the only classes we have together, Fibers and Weaving. We're supposed to be sewing our quilts but we basically just mess around the whole period, pretending to sew when she walks around.
Okay, so maybe it's not the smartest idea since these things have to be turned in by the end of the quarter, but we deserve to talk since we don't see each other much since I had to quit the dance team.
The teacher takes attendance and then everyone goes back to pretending like they're working.
"So, there's a party this weekend for the team and Georgia and Kelly wanted me to ask if you could come." Leah asks, threading her needle just in case Mrs. Hullen comes over to our table.
"Leah, you know I can't. My Dad's on third shift again for the week, I'll have to watch Summer and Jake. Plus, I'm not even on the team anymore." I sigh, threading my needle the same way.
"Nobody cares that you're not on the team, you're still like family to all of us!" She argues. "And can't you set up a
little sleep over for little Jakey and Summer?"
"I guess I can try." I say with defeat, stabbing the needle into my quilt as Mrs. Hullen looks over my shoulder.
"That's my girl." Leah smiles, starting on her own quilt.
She continues smiling, sewing the fabric without a worry in the world. Must be nice, I think to myself bitterly. But then, as quickly as they came, the bitter feelings disappear and I feel this awfull guilt for even having them. But then again, I know bitterness and guilt better then anyone else.
