For You I Would

FOR YOU I WOULD…

"For you I would cry
Till I had no more water in my body,
Drink the seas and cry till I was dry again.
For you I would laugh till I died,
Let the doctors bring me back and laugh till I died again.
For you I would walk the world,
Just to find your dog so that you may be happy.
For you I would sit up late, hold you forever,
And talk till there were no more words,
All so that you now you are never alone"

I liked this. You did a pretty good job of telling how much this person loved somebody else. One thing, I noticed in the last line:

All so that you now you are never alone"

Now should be know.
That was the only nit-picky thing I noticed. Good job!

thanks, if you have a suggestion that could help i would love to hear it. I am a new writer and am trying to learn.

That was beautiful. It gives the aura of a friend willing to do anything for another friend, old or new. I say it's just absolutely beautiful. Keep writing for the sake of writing and you'll be popular in no time at all.

I do have some suggestions... but do not take me seriously, its just one writer to another.

*Instead of using 'till' I'd use until, It just sounds better in my opinion.
*The last line's flow is a little disrupted because I get caught on 'All so' because its too close to 'also' which its not, but I get stuck on it when reading.
*"Just to find your dog so that you may be happy." This line is awkward, maybe its too long.
*your fifth line should probably be broken up into two lines

Overall this poem was very sweet and I enjoyed it, good-job.
-Bettinger

Wow. I really enjoyed this! It really expressed how one person would do anything for the other, and their love for them. Now for the very few nit-picks I have (Blue is things I like, red is the nit-picks)

"For you I would cry
Till I had no more water in my body,I would use until, it justs sounds like it would sound better. You would change it for all of the instances you used 'till if you change it.
Drink the seas and cry till I was dry again. I love this line!
For you I would laugh till I died,
Let the doctors bring me back and laugh till I died again.This sounds too long compared to the rest, you should split it into two parts.
For you I would walk the world,
Just to find your dog so that you may be happy.
For you I would sit up late, hold you forever, This is so sweet
And talk till there were no more words,
All so that you now you are never alone"

Otherwise really good job! Keep writing!!