neon flower

the impression of being crippled by the coldness of their gaze
the innocence of her gestures
their words become a blaze
athousand tears like crystals left her brown doeish eyes
athousand comments so harsh and brute
smuthered her desparate crys
and out the door she ran to hide
to give up on caring
living terrified
her mothers words ran through her mind
from the night before
her voice so gentle, and so kind
left an everlasting impression like many more
i brung you here to see you rise above hurdles you may face
so stand tall with all your grace
because my dear your are a tower
claire you are my neon flower

I really like this !

the impression of being crippled by the coldness of their gaze
the innocence of her gestures
their words become a blaze
a SPACE thousand tears like crystals left her brown doeish eyes
a Space thousand comments so harsh and brute
smuthered smother her desparatedesperate cryscries
and out the door she ran to hide
to give up on caring
living terrified
her mothers words ran through her mind
from the night before
her voice so gentle, and so kind
left an everlasting impression like many more
i I brung Not a word maybe BROUGHT? you here to see you rise above hurdles you may face
so stand tall with all your grace
because my dear your are a tower
claire Claire you are my neon flower

pretty good topic theme

thnks alot

i liked how you told the story and how it became to be but to tell you the truth it didnt look like you put any time into it. what im trying to say is that it was good but i think that it could have been better in a way.
it was pretty decent keep writing and you'll get there