What you don't see

Cocky and vain, haughty and proud.
Playing the fool, and playing the crowd.
This is a side of me you often see,
But I’m not as bad as you make me out to be.

Malicious and cruel, spiteful and mean.
Quick to belittle, and quick to demean.
This is a side of me you often see,
But I’m not as bad as you make me out to be.

Greedy and selfish, always on the attack.
Take what I can, and give nothing back.
This is a side of me you often see,
But I’m not as bad as you make me out to be.

Hatred and anger, violence and pain.
Bitter and broken, and going insane.
This is a side of me you never see,
I’m much worse than you make me out to be.

Spoiler

It's been agreed, and the title has been changed. Thanks for the tips guys.

I actually loved it, your vocabulary was awesome, you had punctuation and you had a good central idea. the one critique I DO have, is that the first letter of every line is capitalized, and just because it is a poem doesn't mean you have to do so, follow the punctuation: don't capitalize after a comma. Well Done! Keep Writing!

Hi Karzkin, pleasure to meet you

I really enjoyed your poem! I loved the vocabulary you used and I also liked the repetition of the last two lines in each stanza. Really good rhyme scheme too - it didn't seem at all forced and wasn't to the detrement of your language so really good.
The only thing I would say is that the rhythm of those last line in each stanza compared with the rest of the poem jars a little because it's a tiny bit too long, on one hand the jarring rhythm works because it adds to that sense of bitterness and broken, negative feelings. However I got the sense from the regular rhyme and rhythm of the other lines that you wanted the poem to flow really well and keep a certain pace so I thought I would point it out because at the moment it is jarring the rhythm ever so slightly.

Other than that though I really enjoyed your poem. I liked the twist at the end I expected to see that the character was completely the opposite of the qualities you wrote about in the first three stanzas but then you changed things up a bit by saying that the character was worse than those qualities which was an interesting twist


Oh and for the title, I quite like it because it echoes the repeated lines but I do have one suggestion - What you often see, is not really me.
Don't know what you think but it's up to you - it's your poem at the end of the day

Anyway,
Keep Writing
Lydia

Hey Karzkin,

First of all I want to say that I've enjoyed reading your poetry the past few days!

Now on to the poem: First some nitpicks. Things to change are in red, things I like are in blue.

Cocky and vain, haughty and proud.
Playing the fool, and playing the crowd.I like this line
This is a side of me you often see,
But I’m not as bad as you make me out to be.as I'm made out to be. The original is too many syllables and awkward. I would change this in every stanza.

Malicious and cruel, spiteful and mean.
Quick to belittle, and quick to demean.
This is a side of me you often see,
But I’m not as bad as you make me out to be.

Greedy and selfish, always on the attack.
Take what I can, and give nothing back.
This is a side of me you often see,
But I’m not as bad as you make me out to be.

Hatred and anger, violence and pain.
Bitter and broken, and going insane.Beautiful
This is a side of me you never see,
I’m much worse than you make me out to be.

If you don't want to get rid of "You make me out to be" you need to come up with a different way of staying it while keeping 2nd person. The line has to fit with the rest of them and now it's just too long to make sense.

Overall, the message of this poem is beautiful and your imagery is amazing. The words you use perfectly describe what you're trying to say without sounding overly sophisticated or pretentious. Excellent work!

Sare

that was pretty good
if you want a suggestion for the title i think it should be- the other side of me
overall: 10/10

I like it, first thought u were going to be cliche at the end but you were more showing how no one really knows anyone and people have a side that no one ever sees and there is usually a reason for that.

wow! Awesome sauce! I like this a lot. Very deep and plenty dark, but I like it! I love how you didn't let the rhyming in this suck the rest of the content dry, very well done! The only other idea for a title I could think of, other the the one you already have (which I have to admit I like) is What You Don't See or The Other Side Of Me. I don't have anything bad to say about this, great work! Keep writing!

OMG, this was awesome! XD, I loved the twist at the end. I seriously thought that it would be the good side of the person whose point of view you were telling this from...but I was wrong!
For a title, I'm really awful at those but I'll say that I like What You Don't See for a better title.

Title has been changed. Thanks for the suggestions.

This is a great poem.

Your flow is really great and I saw no grammatical errors. My only nitpick is the last stanza.

Hatred and anger, violence and pain.
Bitter and broken, and going insane.
This is a side of me you never see,
I’m much worse than you make me out to be.

The first two lines seem like the same thing you've been saying all along in the other stanzas then you say that it's the side that you never see.... How's that work?

Other than that, great job! Love the emotion, flow, and repetition

Keep writing,
Alzora

Hi,

You are fantastic!! Oh my goodness! I absolutely loved this! Your vocab was impeccable, your flow was phenominal, and your rhyming was amazing! I aboslutely loved how you repeated the last two lines in the first three stanzas! Sometimes that is difficult to pull off, but you did it! I have never been so captured by a poem in my entire life, and I have read a million plus poems. Obviously, I read a lot. Haha, I love this so much! You are magnificent. *bows*

Farewell,
A.

Gah! I totally loved this! It's not what you see in poetry today. And it just has so much TRUTH in it thats its just mind boggling good! And you'd think at the end that he's saying that he's really just soft on the inside..but noo. It was a brilliant twist at the end =] Nicely done =]