My Dear Friend Depression

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Me: "Dear, Depression, YOU SUCK!" :x
Depression: "I know" :twisted:
Last edited by Toto25 on Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
Not with things as they are, but with things as they might be and ought to be.
-Aristotle




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I know you were trying to make a point here, but it wasn't good. Perhaps you could write a story in a different way, and include just dialogue? I don't know, but the message came off as a little stale. This story is just a little too hokey for me. This is all just my opinion, maybe someone else would like it? Good luck :)
mistura is awesome and she loves you




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Hmm...I understand the point you're trying to get across, but I feel like you could have more fun with it :) Maybe instead create an argument with Depression, adding imagery and more feeling to it. Like the previous reviewer, I agree it's a bit short and hokey...If you were just trying to make a quick point then it's all good. But for a story itself, it falls short unfortunately :/ Just dive in and have fun with it! You can do it!

Keep writing!
<3 Sara.
"The differences in life are what create the challenges which open the door to discovery."



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