Little paws

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She strolls around
On little paws
Not seeing us eye to eye,
But feeling us heart to heart.
She may have a tail,
She may walk on four legs,
But her heart is a big as ours.
She understands us better
Than anyone ever could,
Little paws.
Last edited by Animallovermary on Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Dare To Dream

Writer4ever




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Hi,

Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here.

This is really beautiful. It flowed very well and the sentiment came across strongly. The final line was very effective.

My only suggestion is that it might be interesting to expand on this for the sake of experimentation, maybe break it into stanzas and elaborate on each image. This works well in and of itself, but it may be worth exploring further just for the sake of seeing what happens.

A lovely read. I hope to read more of you soon, and please feel free to p.m me if you have any questions!

Hope this helps,

Jas
"Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise."
-Maya Angelou




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What a cute poem, I was very tempted to go "awhhhhh" out loud. Very well done, the content, flow, wording, it was a genuine good poem. Congrats, I loved it. Keep Writing!
Flightplan 49




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Nice poem,And the title is very catchy made me want to read it. Keep up the good work and keep on writing
"i will not bow"




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Hello!

This poem is really, really sweet. Not only that, you've written it in a very simplistic way as well, everything you have to say is written in the most simple way there is and that's really good. I also think that the simpleness of it all adds to sweetness of the poem, the way animals are potrayed through such an innocent narrator.

I don't really have any criticism on this piece really, you wrote a poem. The poem was briliant, simple, sweet and effective. Keep it up! :)




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Thanks for commenting!
Dare To Dream

Writer4ever




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Normally I'd probably attack you for lack of proper punctuation or grammar or something, but this is perfect just the way it is I think. Very short and sweet - love it, and it reminds me a lot of my own pet :)
Being children of a cruel reality, we fall prey to the greater powers.
To envy.
To madness.
Betrayal.
Love.
And yet without these things, we cannot remain human. Without these things, we are nothing.
But it is the greatest sacrifice. To envy. To be mad. To betray. To love.
To be human.




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Hey, your poem was very cute! I love how you discribe that no matter what it may look like, whats on the inside it counts! I think the message is really well put, and that you probably could discribe the scene better. Over all, great poem!
~Lady Death~
Down in the dark, alone at night. Bleeding and Torn... Broken in the light




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She strolls around
On little paws
Not seeing us eye to eye,
But feeling us heart to heart.This is my favorite line.
She may have a tail,
She may walk on four legs,
But her heart is a big as ours.
She understands us better
Than anyone ever could,
Little paws.


This was rather simple and beautiful. My kind of poem. I loved it!
"He laid emeralds in our eyes. Oh, but I'd already tried a bracelet made of gold and scarlet thread around her wrist. And everything was wrong, so we sang sentimental songs. Oh how seldom we belong, but how elegant our kiss." -Norma Jean "Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste"




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This was really, really cute. It reminded me of my cats (especially when they were kittens), and how great an animal friend can be. I assume this was intentional, but I liked how you made it relatable to both dogs and cats- and other animals, too. I also really liked the innocence and shortness of this piece; it made it really personal and... alive and real. This was kind of... heartwarming, in a simple, subtle kind of way. So, great! I loved this. Tell your pet hello, from another animal lover. ;) (And personally, I think this is good enough to be on the home page. So let's make it happen, people!)
~Please review me~
*Want a review? Just ask!*




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Hello Animallovermary,

This was really good and I liked reading it. I thought it was very sweet and simple and expressed the feelings in your head in a good way that used creative language. I like the imagery and sweet little words that you included to make it that extra bit more special. You should be very proud of this because it is really good. I have no criticism for you, it was very neat. I love how you repeated little paws at the end of the poem to emphasis the previous line. Keep up the amazing, descriptive language and good grammar that you used in this, I really hope to read more of your writing.

From CuteJackRussell
Hello,
I doubt you will take the time to look at this signature, you are all busy people and I respect that, but if you do know this. Every bit of criticism on my writing has helped and every bit of advice you have given me has also helped. So thank you, for everything.
From CuteJackRussell xoxox




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Excellent work. I really can't critique this, because I got it. I have a dog, and this really described how I feel.

Not seeing us eye to eye,
But feeling us heart to heart.


She understands us better
Than anyone ever could,


My favorite lines. So true. If I had your talent for putting feeling into poetry, I would be a very happy writer. Well done.
I aim to misbehave.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me? --Steven Wright




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I love this poem. It's simple but sweet. My favourite part was
Animallovermary wrote:Not seeing us eye to eye,
But feeling us heart to heart.

Think this is such a great poem! Keep writing! :D
God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

“I’ll Surprise you, I promise”
-Adam Lambert




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Awwww, total cuteness!! This poem is SO adorable. It's simple, but that's what makes it sweet. I was thinking of an adorable little Lab puppy when I was reading it, and I was thinking that sometimes simplicity is best when it comes to things like this. Great job with it!
"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean." -Robert Louis Stevenson
"Write or die trying."
JA hatar pisanje.



perceive me if you want to, i will exist regardless
— soundofmind