Secret writer chapter one; mystery

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My hand trembled as I finished writing the last few words of the letter. I inclosed it into a white envelope, and wrote the address in blue pen.

Helena Penrod
285 West Broadway Suite 450
New York, N.y. 10013

I carried the envelope through the crisp fall air, and out to the mailbox. I slipped the envelope into the mailbox, and ran back inside my house without another word.

Two days later--
Helena opened the letter with great care. It did not say were or who it had came from, and Helena did not have any guesses. The first words of the letter took her by surprise.


Helena,
I know who you are, but you probably don't remember me, but I remembered you. Through the long years of being apart, I still remembered. I dwelled on the thought of never seeing you again.
I probably know you better than anyone else. But you just saw me as, well, I might put it as a spy. I saw you as heaven. But now I know that you are anything but heaven.
As strange as it seams, I still love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. I always will.
If you know who this is, then please write back. If you don't, than I don't want to hear from you. Expect another letter.
Love,
Nobody


Helena didn't get it.
She read the letter over and over again. Who could it be, she thought. Who would have send her this letter?
Last edited by Animallovermary on Sun Jun 05, 2011 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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I like so far :D
I loved the letter. I could tell Helena was confused by the letter :D.
It is a short chapter though =[
A few errors.
Helena,
I know who you are, but you probably don't remember me. But I remembered you. Through the long years of being apart, I still remembered. And I dwelled on the thought of never seeing you again.
I probably know you better than anyone else. But you just saw me as, well, I might put it as a spy. I saw you a heaven. But now I know that you are anything but heaven.
As strange as it seams, I still love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. And I always will.
If you know who this is, then please write back. If you don't, than I don't want to hear from you. Expect another letter.
Love,


You should NEVER start a sentence with and or but.
didn't get the sentence 'I saw you in heaven.' Maybe explain that better?
Than* should be then.
After Love you put a comma? I think it should be a period.

I liked the first chapter! Write again soon =]
The hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.




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Thanks!I fixed the errors. Also, it was supposed to be a short chapter.
Dare To Dream

Writer4ever



Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman