Makes You Think.

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Trapped and no door will open. Lost and no where to be found. Fallen not on solid ground. Being to places at once, trying to find your way out. Scream but no one can hear a shout. Scared because you are alone, go and find your way back home. Inner voices in you head. Whispering sounds ‘you should be dead’. Trying to take the pressure of whishing it was someone else instead. The out come of it all was not what you were hoping for it to be. Opening your eye lids, making you see clearly. Leaning to the left cause it is your safety place, which is actually not the case. The outcome of it all has to be put in the past to make you strong, hoping that your life will last longer.




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Last edited by nova on Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Alot of the time, im on here using my PS3 & my trusty usb keyboard.
Dont expect much fancy quoting blocks... I shall do what I can. ;)




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I really liked this and the rhyme was good. Keep up the good work!




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hello there :)
Great piece. I'm going to do a few nitpicks, then the overall impression

Trying to take the pressure of wishing it was someone else instead.

no "h" in the beginning of "wishing"
You should also put this in stanza form instead of paragraph form, that way it's easier to see the rhyme pattern.
Trapped and no door will open.

Why was there more emphasis on "trapped"? just a curious question.

Overall, you did a fantastic job. This really made me think about alot of things going on in my life. Great job of making it a questioning piece too!

keep writing! Let me know when you post more!

--Ash
And just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she turned into a beautiful butterfly.




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.............You have made me scared of life... I LOVE IT!!!
~Lauren



In the past I would definitely say who you would find inside. Not so much today. Place is bonkers …. As is everywhere
— Greg Specter