I understand you were trying to convey a message, and i got the message, but ti wasn't that strong, the words didnt seem to fit together and I really didnt get the poem. A valiant effort though, Keep Writing!
MeanMrMustard wrote:, whisper the truth is out there.
I like the message you have going here. ' Be your own person.' Very true. I attached this this quote, not only 'cause I like it, but because I was wondering if you meant to write 'it's' not 'is' since otherwise it doesn't really make sense. I thought the whole snowflake idea was clever. One of my favorite parts in the poem. Some of your images I didn't like.
drinking my milk, it tasted like lotion and was grainy like sand from an old man's back
Ok. Yuck. I'm sorry, but that is just gross, plus, sand isn't any grainier whether it is on an old man's back or not. Also milk like lotion? Nasty. Anywho, I still like this poem just that one part was a little disturbing. Well so long and happy writing. ~ Dragongirl
"Every writer I know has trouble writing." - Joseph Heller
~ A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.~ - Bill Cosby
I got the message but I really had to fight for it. I hate giving negative reviews but I didn't really like this one. Either it didn't make much sense or it's a piece of genius and it flew way over my head. And I agree with dragongirl about the lotion part. Almost made me gag.
I hate saying this but I really didn't like it, but I did like the message.
The words you write reflect your soul. Make every word count.
