Goodbye, Love

Spoiler

This is a random piece. It was just a spur of a moment thing, I didn't do any editing yet.

You must truly hate me, my love.
I told you I'd be able to live through it,
we both know I could've fought.

But after so much pain and death,
I don't know what else I could stand.
The only thing keeping me tied to earth was you,
my lifeline.

When you heard that gun shot,
the deafening crack over the phone,
did you know why I had left?

As soon as my soul left my body,
I knew I did the right thing.
It is not something I regret,
the only thing I regret is leaving you.

So I say, goodbye love,
goodbye for now.
But I'll always be waiting,
your angel, your love forever.

Whoa. Powerful. Scary. Amazing. It flows nicely, and regardless of the somewhat dark content, it has an almost reassuring message. It was a most interesting paradox. Nicely done. All I could nitpick was your spoiler, in that you should add a slash before the word spoiler in the second pair of brackets and it will actually turn into a spoiler...okay, I'll stop!

I agree with Sassykat: Powerful and amazing. I was caught off guard that the narrator died, because that's generally considered a risky move when using first-person POV, but you really pulled it off. Well done, and keep up the good work.

The only errors that I saw (besides the spoiler) were these:

The only thing keeping tied to earth was you,

It should be 'keeping me tied to earth.'

goobye for now.

It should be 'goodbye.'

thanks!

thanks!

thanks!

thanks!

thanks!

thanks!

thanks!

i like it so much!
the emotions was so clear!
keep it up!

Hiya,
This poem had a really great concept. You told it in a very clear tone, and the style was so simple which made it easy to read and the message apparent and powerful. Last line could have been a bit more powerful to send a clearer message to the reader.

Overall it was great. You really made the message clear, but without losing focus on the emotive side of the poem, which can be hard to do at times.

It was great, keep writing, I want to read more of your work!
HAYLEY
xx

Hiya,
This poem had a really great concept. You told it in a very clear tone, and the style was so simple which made it easy to read and the message apparent and powerful. Last line could have been a bit more powerful to send a clearer message to the reader.

Overall it was great. You really made the message clear, but without losing focus on the emotive side of the poem, which can be hard to do at times.

It was great, keep writing, I want to read more of your work!
HAYLEY
xx

Hiya again,

My message came through twice by accident, don't think I'm trying to spam you or anything

I get confused easily, sorry about that..it's my lousey genes

HAYLEY
xx

haha it's okay, my thanks posted like 9 times for some reason...haha and thanks!