Happy Unhappy Ending: Chapter 2

I can't decide which crowd she's better off hanging out with: the "Populars" or the "Emos". I mean, the popluar people are stuck up, rich snobs who get drunk all of the time. The emos are nice but get high and drunk. Either way she's not really doing the right thing, so I'd go with the nice friends. (with benefits... he he)

Hello again! Sorry I didn't realize the second chapter was out!! :p

A few things I noticed.

I never start a sentence with and or but. It is informal language, however if you choose to use but as a sentence beginner it is your choice, there is other words you can use instead though, more formal rules.

A few times you used cause when it should have been of course, I think you did that at least three times.

Your chapter was really long, you could change that by making a little less paragraphs by combining two or more.

Also there is a few spelling mistakes...read it over and fix those, I don't have the time to point them out.

Read over your novel to fix stuff, it doesn't hurt anyone to do that.

I liked the first chapter better. I thought the plot was heading towards Joy finding better friends that were good and stuff, but instead she goes out and does drugs and haves sex with a total stranger...

I think she chose the wrong group of friends. The emo people or whatever they are have been nice and stuff to her, however doing drugs is really bad and they can really mess up a person mentally, and judging by the fact that Joy likes doing drugs and drinking is going to wind up getting her in serious trouble(If this story was real life, which it isn't, but based on real life.) It could wind p with you going to jail or even getting killed, when a person is high the believe they can do whatever they want and get all coo coo up in the brain.

Overall you have a good writing voice. I don't like this novel as much as I thought I would, but I will keep reading/reviewing it if you keep writing!

-germsieGal