A loss so great, it makes thunder cry out

K, first off this could be quite a powerful poem, that a lot of people can relate to. Your grammar and punctuation (or lack there of!) is rather irritating, and you really need to clean that up. I always think it's polite to re-read your work before posting, and tidy up the obvious mistakes, but...*ahem* on to the review:

cookEmonster wrote:

The wind blows,
the fire screams,
the brown grass churns on the ground.
I must leave,
While you stay.
so i do, This is a bit boring. We get it, without you blandly stating the obvious. I'd take it out. Also, I think you could work a bit more imagery into your leaving and her having to stay. Describe it, give it some more flesh, and emotion. Make me SAD that you have to separate.
"We must always stay together," you say. Maybe replace 'must' with 'will'?
"No, we can't. We musn't... I can't..." I reply. So, did you read this? It sounds like you're stuttering, (sad and all) but at the same time, it's rather awkward for us readers. Maybe rephrase your words or something. It's a bit confusing and messy like this.
Then tragedy comes,
i do leave, This line isn't really necessary, and with it, you're just repeating this in the next line.
I leave her alone in darkness -
I abandon us.
Then I turn empty inside, You're adding a little more emotion...good. But maybe try condensing it - "I'm empty inside, shriveled." or something a bit more "umph" worthy.
Like someone took the one thing that filled me up,
that made me whole again. These two lines are a bit boring. Add some emotion and imagery. (i.e. your heart be RIPPED out, or something.) Also,'again at the end of the line doesn't make any sense.
She may eventually fill up again, A little awkward, no? While I got what you're saying, it sounded a little weird.
But I can't;
I will stay like this... forever. Here, you could add a little more "umph" as well...
I'm the one who left her.
Brown grass churns on the ground,
The fire screams,
and the wind blows.
I am gone,
In my own darkness.
I await for a miracle, You need to change 'await' to 'wait' or take out the 'for'.
but no one comes so I have to make my own. A miracle is someone? Hmm. Wouldn't it be 'but none come'?
For me...
For her...
For US!

Alright. So the lack of punctuation was really annoying, and next time I'll leave it to you to fix. The actual content of the poem is good - it could be made much stronger with deeper, more evocative words, and imagery.

Hello. I wont go through the poem throughly, as the above reviewer already has done.
This is a good poem, but it could be great. Punctuation is your friend, and can make any poem that little bit better. Remember that.

The poems a bit boring and honestly doesn't have a whole lot of structure or flow to and seems like your just telling us a few lines from a story, instead of a poem, trying to make it one by breaking it up into lines.

I'd say take another look over it, listen to Matt's comments and re-do this. A little bit of work and it could be really something.

Feel free to PM me if you do this, and i'll give you a deserved review.
Keep on writing.

This is a wonderful poem. I found the first few lines amazingly written. I like the way you repeated the first few lines at the end and the effect it added to the poem. The part of the poem that could be improved is the fourth last line:
"I await for a miracle, but it doesn't come so I have to make my own,". It makes sense but could have been worded a bit better. Overall, the poem was very well done.