Lying little Kate

She's got cinnamon hair
And icy blue eyes,
a clever mind,
But a cold, unused heart.
If she has mind for kindness,
She doesn't use it.
But she's got her spell
Cast on you boy.
Us girls see a devil,
But you see an angel.
She's set her sights on you,
And she's not giving up.
But that's how she does it,
Lying little Kate.
She says she'll be there,
But she blows you off
Although, you still love her
Lying little Kate

Interesting piece, the rhythm was a little awkward, but the subject matter was good, I read all the way through about 5 times because it was so entertaining. It could do with a lot of revision in the wording and line length, maybe count out the syllables to make the line pairs even and go from there.

But you see an angle.

This should be angel, as you are referring to a heavenly being and not a measure of rotation from an origin to a terminal point.

That was interesting I think the rythm needed work as the person above me said but overall it was really good

Hi there! First off, welcome to YWS, ALM. (If you don't mind my calling you that.)

Anyway, I really liked this poem. It sort of reminded me of some of the poems I've read at school and stuff. Very well-written! Anyway, just a few nitpicks.

She's got cinnamon hair
And icy blue eyes. I like-a your description and stuff here. Great imagery.
She's got a clever mind
But a cold, unused heart.
If she has a mind for kindness,
She doesn't use it,
But she's got her spell
Cast on you, boy.
Us girls see a devil,
But you see an angel.
She's set her sights on you, boy,
And she's not giving up,
But that's just how she does it,
Lying little Kate.
She says she'll be there,
But she blows you off.
Although, you still love her, boy,
Lying little Kate.

So, yeah. Just a few minor grammatical mistakes here and there, but no big deal, you know? Overall, I loved this poem. Brilliant imagery and a nice little topic. The rhythm was nice and it flowed pretty well. It really was a great poem!

Keep it up, and I'm sure you'll go far!

-Emily

Thanks! I'll make sure to fix the mistakes!

She's got cinnamon hair
And icy blue eyes,
a clever mind,
But a cold, unused heart.
If she has mind for kindness,
She doesn't use it.
But she's got her spellCast on you boy.
Us girls see a devil,
But you see an angel.
She's set her sights on you,
And she's not giving up.
But that's how she does it,
Lying little Kate.
She says she'll be there,
But she blows you off
Although, you still love her
Lying little Kate

Hmm... I like this piece in a kind of creepy way. Is it from expierence that you wrote this? I can relate to it. I like how you kept using magical words like "spell" and "devil" and "angel", because it makes it feel evil and mysterious. Over all I really like it. Thanks for reading!
~cammie~