Wanderer

Hey what do you know? Niteowl still writes coherent things! I haven't done so in a while, but today I came up with something, and it's coherent, at least, so here goes. Criticism welcome. Praise, naturally, is welcome as well. :

I know I'm just a work in progress
Tripping on my own two feet.
I'll forget what I was trying to say
And end up saying something mean
That I didn't mean.

And you'll look at me
And throw me away...

(Chorus)
Forgive me for being
Whatever I am today
'Cause I'm just a wanderer
And that's all I know how to be.

I used to go along with
The straight and narrow
'Cause that was all that I knew.

But I thought
Why not meander
Just a little?
Is that really so wrong...?

(Repeat Chorus)

I know I'm
Not alone
But that's so hard
To believe
When you're blind
And you've lost
The feeling you once had...

(Repeat chorus)

Praise for Niteowl! *claps*

Now on to the critiques (Sleep-deprivation makes me mean):

I must say the two big things I say for almost every lyrical work I read now:

1. I would suggest if attempting a rhyme, make darn well sure it rhymes. Just a little peeve of mine. (I would call it a pet, but it doesn't care for affection.)

2. First, check your lyrics to the music you're putting it to. See if it matches up with out very many forced syllables. If you've yet to write music, then you might tweak the lyrics for more of a "flow."

Now for the praise again:

Good formatting! I've been frustrated with people's (lack of) formatting, lately.

And end up saying something mean
That I didn't mean.

I love this double usage of "mean." Awesome.

This song reminds me a little of Green Day work.

If ever you record this, I'd love a complimentary recording of it.

Like David said (GOSH...there are so many new people here), the "mean" was a bit redundant. I would suggest changing it to just: "And end up saying something that I didn't mean."

Wow another great song. Great job!

And end up saying something mean
That I didn't mean.

Like that line too...