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Lilprincess
Gender Female
Points 1451
Reviews 1




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Sassykat
Gender Female
Points 367
Reviews 165
Fri May 27, 2011 8:35 pm
Sassykat says... · Fri May 27, 2011 8:35 pm
How sweet. Now, critiques!

I would tell you today, here I added a backspace before the comma and a return
That you're the one that fills my life,same here
Whose smiles I cannot wait to see, ditto, as well as for all the other lines.
Whose arms I long to have wrapped around me,
Whose lips I live to kiss, softly,
Passionately , in every way,
I would want you to know that you make my heart skip a beat,
You fill my soul with content,
You brighten my dark skies,
You fill my days and nights
With stars, hopes, and cascading dreams.



Awww, this was so nice. It was almost musical. Just take care to use proper puctuation and grammar, and you're good to go. :-D Fantastic job.
Shakespearian tongue-twister:

To sit in solemn silence
In a dark, dank dock
In a pestilential prison
With a lifelong lock;
Awaiting the sensation
Of a short, sharp shock
Of a cheap, chippy chopper
On a big black block.




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halogirl4197
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 52
Fri May 27, 2011 8:58 pm
halogirl4197 says... · Fri May 27, 2011 8:58 pm
This is great! :) But I'd suggest lining the sentences out, ya know, to make it more flowy :D. Lol, it would be neat and gorgeous! You're very good :)
Remember me for who I am, Not for who I was




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kellydddys
Gender Female
Points 940
Reviews 4
Sat May 28, 2011 8:17 pm
kellydddys says... · Sat May 28, 2011 8:17 pm
I really like this I could tell it came from the heart. But I would make sure I is capital. But over all I love the poem. :)
(:***BREAKAWAY***:)




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Snoink
Supporter
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Tue May 31, 2011 9:06 pm
Snoink says... · Tue May 31, 2011 9:06 pm
Locked. Plagiarism.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D

5 posts


My life's goal is to end up between YWS quotes on bottom of the page, so some part of me will be able to live forever here.
— AnotherCrowInRow