Sumimasenga

hold on, i'm still with you..
it's not that i don't love you..
seeing my promises break..
yes! it's my mistake..
and it's hard to take..
the feeling i don't want to fake..
so i come before you..
i'm not strong!
i still need you!
don't give up on me..
don't let go!
i'm still dreaming of you..
i'm troubled and i'm guilty!
conscience is burning me..
here i am and i feel so sorry...

Hey there! Chibi here. And welcome to YWS!
So I love this poem. I think you brought your message across great while still being able to rhyme, something I am just unable to do. >.<

But one thing that really bothered me was you didn't use capitals at all in this poem...It's just a pet peeve of mine.

So now, onto the nitpicks.

senzafine wrote:hold on, i'm still with you..
it's not that i don't love you..
seeing my promises break..
yes! it's my mistake..
and it's hard to intake.. Just take should be fine here.
the feeling i don't want to fake..
so i come before you..
i'm not strong!
i still need you!
don't give up on me..
don't let go!
deeply.. i'm still dreaming of you..I think deeply should be removed
i'm troubled and i'm guilty!
conscience is burning within me.
here i am and i feel so sorry...

Overall, good job. Hope to read more from you in the future.

Another great one! All I have to say is CaPiTaLiZe. And if you're going to use the dot dot dot sequence, use three dots instead of two or else it looks like a repeated typo. In regards to the one at the end,

here i am and i feel so sorry...

Put four. I'm pretty sure that's actually the correct way, the one you'll find in textbooks. I think I found it in a textbook, or my English teacher told me that three dots is a long pause and four is the trailing end of a sentance.

Great work. I like your poems.

Thanks for the comments guys...

Thanks so much. I need more of your comments to solidify my work.
I did some changes and I plan to formalize it soon... I still need your help...

Ok,
You need to take out a ton of periods, put in commas, and capitalize LOTS of words. But don't sweat it, everything else seems fine.

I understand the poem (yay), and the flow is great (another yay). I don't think there's anything wrong with it other than the things I pointed out above (grammar). So, you're good!

Keep writing,
Alzora