I am Werewolf (Chapter 1)

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If you read it now, you will see that I am not done editing it. I wrote the original then decided it needs some changing. I am trying to improve it by adding more details and such. Despite this, rip it to shreds!!!


The woods are silent when I felt the presence approaching. I whip around with my crossbow cocked, ready to shoot. But nobody is there. My heart is throbbing like a horse's quick gallop to freedom.

I must have imagined it.

As if in response to my thoughts, a barely audible laugh echoes through the trees. When the sound registers, I fire my arrow, but it only slams into a tree. Somebody is following me but how long and why? I curse myself under my breath. How could I let myself be trailed so easily after all the lectures my parents gave me about the city, and how fakers, liars, and thieves make up a large part of the population? Although, they lurk relatively unknown in the darkest corners and longest shadows...

I call, "Come out. Show yourself to me!" I paused for a moment, waiting for the stranger to appear, but the only thing that stirred was the chilling breeze.

A pair of lips brush up against the side of my neck and shallow breathing sends tingles down my spine. A deep voice soothingly croons, "As you wish, mon belle." He rests his head on my shoulder and slowly rocks me back and forth. With his body wrapped around mine, my senses dull and everything becomes less interesting; except him. Everything about him is acutely detailed, like his large hands on my small waist, and feeling the the rise and fall of his chest. For a brief moment, everything in my body stops functioning but I somehow manage to restart my heart and remember how to use my voice.

I stammer, "W-what do you want with m-me?"

His pale hands grasped my shoulders and turned me around to face him. My violet irises gingerly glance up at his amber eyes. They confidently survey the world outside of his cowl, but the rest of his face is hidden except his lips. Those golden eyes clawed at my heart, trying to find a space to reside or a gap to fill. One moment my heart was beating in full swing out of sheer fear, but then it halted, as if he had reached in and ripped my heart out for himself.

He is a criminal. I can't fall for him. He wants something from me and if I don't give it to him I could die.

He answers, "I can't have what I want. If only you knew. Don't worry, I won't hurt you Lupe."

I gasp, "How do you k-know my name?"

"Secret," he responds smiling. His smile reminds me of the white crook of the moon. Suddenly, my head starts throbbing and the world around me starts spinning. My heart slows despite all the adrenaline pumping through my veins. All I can see is a pitch black wolf wearing the same alluring smile on his muzzle.

I stumble out of shock and the ground rushes up to meet my face but he catches my fall immediately like we planned it for a play. I guess I did fall for him but I didn't think it would be this literal... His embrace is gentle but firm. I felt good wrapped in his arms. Too good. I try to push myself away but he only holds on tighter, like if he let go I would turn into a frail butterfly and fly away, never to be seen again.

He asks me something but he sounds so far away... I stare deep into eyes and study the flecks of amber and gold. If I reach out my hand to caress his face, his eyes might turn into a vortex. My hand, along with the rest of my body, would be sucked into it's depths before my fingers could even make contact with his cheek. I would never return from his eyes. Even now, I see several ways to escape. Not only are his eyes immensely gravitating but are filled with pain and sorrow too. I wonder what happened to him to make his eyes that way… Whoever corrupted the owner of these beautiful eyes would pay, I would make sure of that.

I faintly shake my head, No, I can't care about him. I don't even know who he is.

I wish he would smile... I recoil and yelp, shocked to see an image of the stranger smiling wolfishly, baring bloody fangs. The clothing on his back is tattered and the shirt is sticking to his side because it is weighed down by blood. He isn't wearing the cowl, but shadows obscure his face; his amber eyes illuminate his smile though. He is reaching out a hand and he seems to mouth, come with me. My head pricks with pain and I moan. Why do these images keep popping up?

His hold slightly loosens and he lowers me to the earth floor. He takes a moment to brush a strand of milk coffee hair from my face before pressing his icy palm to my forehead. He whispers something under his breath and the pain subsides into nothingness. I lift myself up into sitting position, bewildered that the pain was gone so fast.

I ask timidly, "Did you use magic?"

He nods then takes my tiny hand and presses something cold and smooth into my palm. He stands and turns to leave. A breeze carries his final words to me, "I just wanted to be for sure it was you. A beintôt."

He fades into the trees just as I am about to call 'wait'. I open my palm, curious to see what he left me. It was a stone carve into the shape of a wolf head. An elegant jewel necklace is dangling from its open jaws. What is this? It looks so familiar but I just can't place it. I sit in the same patch of grass where he left me, pondering who he was and why he left me a symbol or crest of some sort. Eventually I stand up, pocketing the stone and begin to walk with no particular destination in mind.

If I squint my eyes hard enough, I can see the sun peaking over the horizon past the next line of trees, dragging the evening sunlight along with it. The moon is already visible overhead but the sun fights with it, tinting the sky a breathtaking lavender hue. Eventually, the sun loses his grip on the horizon and collapses, but it still a few rays slither past the horizon, momentarliy blinding me. I out a hand up to shield myself from the sunlight. Why does the sun push himself so hard if he loses to the moon every dusk?

It is so late! It's no wonder the crickets chirping and owls hooting. I should have realized this while I was sitting there, speculating the origin of the stone. I could have gotten home before seven if I left right after he gave it to me. I sprint in full throttle, and not caring that my heart feels like it is going to burst from my chest.

I bite my lip in punishment and relish the steady flow of blood cascading down my chin and onto my ragged tunic. Ever since I was little, I took a habit biting myself and cutting to help distract myself from an uncertain future or a haunting memory. Right now, I was distracting myself from the inevitable punishment from my parents that was sure to be horrible.

It's not like they beat me like some parents but I hate disappointing anybody. Sometimes I cut just to lick my wounds and let the metallic flavor smolder my taste buds and wallow in the intense pleasure I gain from it. I never told anybody about my gruesome habit, not even my best friend Destiny, because I might be marked as a vampire or a werewolf. If you have any abnormal quirks, people mark you as monster and immediately hang you, not bothering to judge you fairly.

In my lifetime nobody has gotten hung in my small town, Ilyane, but I've heard that the practice is frequent in cities such as Crystal Gates. The inn that my family is staying at is on the outskirts of Crystal Gates' cobbled streets and castle spires. We traveled through the Lost Woods (where I met the stranger) to watch the royal wedding between Princess World and Prince Orion.

I arrive at the quaint wooden inn and took a moment to lick the remaining blood from my lips before opening the heavy door to the lobby. I hadn't bothered to clean up before because I was addicted to the feel of the blood slowly rolling down my chin, taunting me, letting only a few drops steal into my starving mouth.

When I am sure most of the blood is gone, I step into the lobby, and a lady sitting in front of the fireplace on a velvet couch glances at me. She sneers when she takes in my shoddy tunic, that is now covered with dirt, and unkept hair. Her gaze dwells on my lip. It's not still bleeding, is it? She is wearing a stunning gown with complicated textures and layers; there is not a hair out of place on her head and her face seems to have enchantments cast. There is no way her face can shine and be so flawless, irises so vibrant that it is almost unnatural, or lips so full, without an expensive enchantment spell, exclusively done in a sorceress' beauty parlor. Beauty parlors are numerous in Crystal Gates, but there is only one in Ilyane.

Despite her rudeness, I smile and say, "Good evening miss. Are you going to a ball? That is a gorgeous gown you have. I'll bet the boys will line up for merely the chance to look at you." I would have rather not seen her in the first place. Her fake face sickens me, but I have to set her in her place.

She gapes at my for a split second, but quickly recovers, "Yes. I am going to a ball. You must have heard that the Amour family is holding a ball for their daughter before she gets married. Only the highest in society are allowed to come." She tilts her snooty chin up and looks down at me even though I'm the one who is standing.

"No, I didn't hear about it. I just arrived at Crystal Gates today. I am only here for a few days to watch the wedding between Princess World and her fiance. You have a grand old time and don't forget that enchantment spells wear off at midnight. Wouldn't want to be kissing a boy while that happens; he would discover your face is as ugly as your personality." I turn on my heel and strut to the old staircase, pounding up the creaky stairs. I can still feel her poisonous glare boring into the back off my head when I reach the fourth floor. I open the door to the room we are renting and enter the cramped sitting area.

It only consists of a couch, an armchair, and a table. The room is squeezed between two bedrooms. My parents aren't on the couch reading or 'tuning' but I instead hear their hushed voices from their bedroom. I vaguely wonder what they are talking about but am too tired to care. So instead of pressing my ear to their door to try to follow the contents of their conversation, that is apparently so interesting that they don't even notice me come home an hour late.

I enter my room and happen to glimpse myself in the mirror. My normally fair face is a rose color from my excursion and my hair is tangled from bounding about the forest and tumbling through briar bushes to hunt some game. That was my intent when I went to the woods. My hair showers my shoulder with warmth and is the color of coffee after you add milk and sugar. I twirl a strand of hair around my finger, the albino streaks mixing with the chocolate layers. I am reminded of a spoon dipped in coffee, mixing the bitter and the sweet together. But the thing that stands out most about me is my eyes; pure violet and not natural looking. People ask me all the time, "Have you got a permeant enchantment? Those are mighty expensive." I always so no, I was born this way, and they nod their head skeptically, feigning belief.

I set my crossbow and pack to the hardwood floor, and plop down on my bed, leaning back against the fluffy pillows. Thinking over my parents lack of observation, I can't give my parents the 'maybe they didn't hear me come in excuse.' You can hear a pin drop in the lobby even if you are on the fourth floor of the inn. I'll ask them about that and their discussion later.

I take out the crest and hold it to the light, turning it every which way, hoping a spark would ignite in my brain that would set off the fire of remembering. I know I've seen this before, I know it! After ten minutes I sigh, still remembering nothing. I carefully place it on my bedside table, thinking that if I look at it while I fall asleep that I'll know what the stone is as sunlight spills throw the room and lights up my memory.

* * *


I look up when I hear a shy bark from the entrance of my den. Seeing the black crouched figure approaching, I leap into fighting stance, prepared to fight to the death. It strolls in like it owns the place and moonlight from the cracks in the stone illuminate the other animal. It is a wolf, and judging by his horrid scent, a male at that. He flicks his tail, sending dust in all directions. I cringe at the unwelcome debris but quickly recover.

I snarl, “What do you want?”

The furry black figure murmurs, “Only a place to rest.” Who is this other wolf? I don't believe I have ever seen him before but at the same time he feels so familiar.

“You think I'd let an absolute stranger sleep in my den?”

“I’ll return the favor. I promise.” His amber eyes are like a honey that melts in your mouth, rolls off your tongue, and finally slides down your throat. Absolutely enjoyable in every way, except for me. Honey burns my tongue. I wonder if he would burn my heart. Why am I thinking things like this? I don't even know him. I want to trust him but I can't show it; I have to be dismissive of the idea.

Annoyed, I ask, “How do you propose to do that?”

The other wolf remained silent, but his glowing amber eyes told me all I needed to know. I am silent as the dead as I take in his bulging muscles and battle scars that show his experience and strength. Why hadn’t I noticed them before? One wrong move and I’m screwed. The wolf’s golden eyes darted up and met my purple irises; he notices me sizing him up. He bares his bloody teeth and shows his greedy wolf grin that matched the white crook of the moon. He responds, “Just trust me. I’ll help you in ways you can’t imagine. Trust me. I won’t fail you.”

“Don’t play games with me," I attempt to say normally but my voice ends up breaking.

“No… It’s just that…”

“Just that what?” I snap, trying to let confidence ooze into my voice, despite the fact I am now trembling.

He smiles like the crook of the moon but is deadly serious when he says, “If you don’t I’ll kill you.”


Hyperventilating, I bolt upright in my bed. Sweat is pouring down my face and my heart feels like it will bust out of my chest at any second. It was only a dream. Nobody is going to kill you. I remember having that nightmare ever since I was a child. I was always a wolf and something was always chasing me or trying to kill me. Sometimes I was the one who was killing. That wolf resembled that stranger so much... Well I was afraid that he was going to kill me. But who wouldn't be?

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the stone wolf head and memory digs in like a blade. It was the one of the Amour royal family's crests, to be more specific, Princess World's crest. I had kept in my dirty, ragged tunic one of beloved World's possessions! That means amber-eyes must have stolen it, but why? Everybody loves World too much to dare steal from her. The thief would be found and likely hanged against World's wishes. The only reason amber-eyes would have stolen from World is if he had some political reasons against her upcoming marriage. I don't get involved in politics and my little town is far out in the sticks we barely ever get any news about the capital, Crystal Gates.

Why would he give the crest to me? Probably because he thinks that I don't have the guts to return it. If it's the last thing I do, I'll return it. I'll make sure of that. He said something about "I can't have what I want. If only you knew." Does he want World killed?! To stop myself form hyperventilating for the second time this morning, I cut my wrist with a switchblade I keep in my boot. I suck at the fracture to my smooth skin, letting the blood flow in steady rivulets across my tongue. I am distracted, for now. I have to come up with a solution soon. But I don't care as long as this ruby red liquid courses through my veins. My nightmare is even forgotten.

* * *


Later that day, I am in town square waiting for the parade to start. Princess World will ride in a bejeweled carriage, waving and smiling at her subjects before her marriage three days from now. Maybe I should return it when she exits the carriage... My thoughts stray when I see a glint of amber in the crowd I am submerged in. Disregarding all others, I jostle through the crowd to where I suspect he is. I only found myself standing at the entrance of a dark alley-way. Cautiously, my feet patter against the cobble stone until I am at the end of the alley, disappointed, staring at the front of a ram-shackled building. A weathered sign proclaimed it to be 'Cornerstone Fortunes.'

I sigh, and decide to backtrack to town square when I hear a familiar voice say, "Up here Lupe." I look up to Cornerstone Fortunes' balcony, surprised to see the same cowl and amber eyes drilling into my face. He continues, "It's amazing how nobody ever bothers to look up." His hands are gripping the rail. On his right hand, a emerald ring encircles his middle finger. It is intricate designs and patterns. One thing stands out from the rest of the tangled mass; three circles carved in a perfect row.

Was he wearing that before? And how could I have not noticed him up there? My face flushes from embarrassment and I remain silent, afraid that whatever words come out of my mouth will only kindle the flames dancing on my face. But I finally ask, "What do you want?"

"Only for you to trust me. Let me help you." He shifts and now he is leaning against the rail, his ring hand cupping his face.

"I don't think I can trust you," I confess.

He looks hurt and his lips are pursed, "Why not?"

"Well," I started, "You stole Princess World's crest, you-" I was about to say disappear whenever I try to talk with you, but he was gone. I am about to bite my wrist in frustration but a large hand pulls my head back against a muscular chest.

"Don't do that. I don't want you to be hurt. It distresses me when you do that," I feel my eyes widen and more flames ignite on my face, "I have a game. If you can catch me in town square, I'll reveal my identity to you."

He disappears but this time I know where he will reappear. Strangely enough, I want to see him again even if he decides not to tell me his identity. I lean against the cool

I find myself in the center of the crowd once again, but everybody is watching World's carriage. World is turned away from where I stand, waving from a small balcony that juts out form the back of the carriage. I clench my teeth, I'll find him and then I'll return the crest.

I spot him just on the other side of the carriage. It is almost like he planned this from the way he stands there, obviously gazing into my eyes. I spur into action, afraid that he will be gone any second now, but I don't notice the horses pulling the carriage barreling toward me. I tumble onto something soft after a crash and barbs of sharp pain in my ribs. Blood flows from my chest and bleeds into my tunic, staining a carpeted floor.

I must be inside the carriage. Is that a broken window over there? And this blood... Is mine.

I drag myself into a crouch, my ribs screeching in protest, and my eyes meet the tip of a sleek sword. The wielder of the sword orders, "State your name, occupation, and your reasons for disrupting cherished World's parade. If you choose not to answer I shall have your head now."

I stammer, "Laura Beau, although I only r-respond to Lupe. Student. It w-was an accident, I swear on Savior Melody," he raises an eyebrow, "I had to catch up with this guy..."

The knight exams my wounds from a distance. "Ok, Lupe. I doubt you would enter the carriage that way if you wanted to murder World and it looked like an accident to me. I want to believe you but I can't. I can't put World in any danger. Let me make this as painless as possible for you. Just sit there and let me use my magic to drug you. If you fight back I'll be forced to kill you."

If he drugs me he'll most likely search me and find the crest and kill me on the spot, not giving me a chance to explain the situation. I can't let that happen... I think my chances are better fighting him. I was always a fighter.

"No... Why d-drug me?"

"The most innocent looking people are always the life-jackers and the fighters are always criminals in my experience."

I want to scream I'm not a criminal!! But decide against it.

"I-I can't let you drug me. I'm sorry."

"Prepare yourself."

"For what?"

"For a fight to the death obviously," he thrusts his sword toward my chest but I roll out of the way, splattering more blood across the floor.

I feel a scream rising in my throat but I contain it, knowing it will disturb the crowd outside. And that gives me an idea to stop this. Groping for the knifes in the folds of my tunic, my hands brushes up against something sharp. Glass. That's why it stings whenever I move. I say, "What about all those people outside? They probably are all about to call the the knight squadron because I accidently jumped in front of the carriage. This fight will will frighten them more!"

His deep green eyes mock me, "I've already 'tuned' them. They have no recollection of your foolish stunt," he says as he tackles me.

I kick him away from me and jump forward on top of him despite the shards of glass impaled in my ribs. I grasp my knife more firmly and bring it down to his chest. The lids over his green eyes flutter and he appears to be smaller. The knife almost pierces his skin and I stop. I don't want to be like my nightmare identity.

I slowly rise, feeling woozy, and throw my knife to the ground. "I don't want to kill anybody." I reach my hand out to him and he takes it, pulling himself up. A shot of pain makes me stumble and almost fall but the knight catches me. A small electric volt passes through my body. "The blood," I murmur, "The blood loss is making me feel faint..."

"No it's not. It's the drug I gave you."

Oh crud.

Sharp blackness clouds my vision and I crash to the ground, too late realizing my error.


I awake to loud yelling and another person mumbling apologizes.

"I don't understand it!" A voice like a thousand tinkling bells rings through the small carriage.

"I was only trying to protect you World," the forest eyed warrior says firmly.

"It doesn't matter Kale. I know you only drugged her enough to knock her out for ten minutes but still that was wrong. She was obviously innocent. And I can't believe you fought her when she was wounded!"

That must be Princess World speaking. So the knight's name is Kale... Why didn't he use any honorifics when he referred to her?

The princess is beautiful, her hair like wheat grass being bathed in the light of a sunset, and her eyes a bubbling spring.

"She nearly killed me even with her wounds. She is a natural fighter, her skills are almost inhuman."

I stretch out where I am sprawled, noticing that my wounds are healed, and Kale tightens the grip on his sword. World's crest falls out of my pocket and clatters to the floor. The dull noise is sickening in the following silence. Kale and World trade a glance.

Oh crud. Again.

Kale says,"You're the-" but he stops when World nods solemnly. I know what he was about to say. You're the thief. How am I going to explain to them that I'm not the thief and that the golden-eyed stranger is?

"I'm going to get my cloak, we need to go to-"

Kale cuts World off, "I know. Can you get mine too? It's in the back compartment with yours." World nods and retreats to a door at the back of the carriage in a room where one would sit. The front room we are in now is only used for guard vigil. Why would Kale ask the princess to get his things for him? He is a knight, his duty is to abide by her orders and to protect her. Shouldn't Kale be getting World's things?

"Shouldn't you be getting the princess's things?"

"We're close friends and our rank in society does not matter."

She returns wearing her crimson cloak and hands Kale and I black ones. World pockets the crest and whispers something in Kale's ear and he murmurs an enchantment under his breath.

"It's safe to go outside," Kale reports.

We exit the carriage and are in an deserted alley-way that looks oddly familiar. Kale presses his palm to the carriage and it disappears.

"It's around here, right?" World asks.

Kale points, "Yep. Right there. It's kind of hard to the read the sign but that's defiantly Cornerstone Fortunes. I hope Mylei is 'tuning' today."

"Even a simple palm reading would be fine. We just need to know if," World looks sideways at me, "What was your name again?"

I reply, "Lupe is my name your highness."

World looks distant for a second but bounces back saying, "You needn't be so formal with me. I have a feeling Kale and I are going to get to know you well. Speaking of Kale... I'm sorry for his behavior and him overreacting. He can be... Overprotective sometimes."

"So, you're not going to hang me?"

"No, I would never do that to you. It does not matter how you came to posses my crest. You having it is just a part of something bigger... It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too."

"What, but not me?" Kale says.

"Pleasure is not the word I would use to describe our meeting."

"Then what word?"

"Painful. Very painful."

World comments, "I guess you guys are warming up to each other just fine despite trying to kill each other just awhile ago. "

We reach the entryway that is utterly lacking in a door. The 'O' on the sign above us falls off and hits Kale in the head, setting off a long string off curses. I ask, "We're going in there?"

Now recovered, with a grand sweep of his arms, Kale says, "Ladies first."

I shove him into the building and say, "Then get moving, you don't have to make a production out of it."

The opening room we walked into was tiled and had a red satin couch and a matching armchair. An oak low table separates the two and tarot cards are scattered across it's smooth surface. Drops of blood are drying into the wood grain. A spiraling staircase rests behind the armchair and bookshelves are squeezed in wherever they will fit in the congested room. A lantern hanging form the ceiling offers a dim flickering light.

"Mylei," World calls, "Are you in right now?" World's voice echoes throughout the small building. We wait for a reply but none comes. "I guess she isn't here. Let's leave."

"Why did you guys take me here?" I ask.

"Secret," Kale replies.

"Not the first time I've heard that one," I mutter.

"Darlings, darlings. Don't leave. I was only preparing the tea leaves for you." The woman's many skirts swish when she walks and her slippers echo off the tile. While she bountiful in skirt layers, her frontal cleavage is skimpy at most. Her skin is a cocoa color and her rose hair smells like jasmine and incense. Long lashes hide her azure eyes that remind me tears.

"Mylei, we need to know if-"

Mylei cuts Kale off, "I already know. Lupe will be fine for the job, I suppose. She'll do. Wish she was a little taller and had some more meat on her bones but... Beggars can't be choosers. Sit darlings." Mylei gestures to the couch while resting herself on the armchair.

"What do you mean,'she'll do?' I'm average height anyway! Just because I'm the shortest person in the room doesn't mean I'm a midget!"

"Average is nothing if you plan to fulfill the prophecy..." Mylei says.

We file onto the couch, Kale on one end, me on the other side and World in the middle.

World says, "I have never been to a fortune teller who has tile instead of carpet."

"You can learn a lot from a person's footsteps and stride. Tellers who don't use tile are afraid of the sound they'll hear echoed back at them. Now, I know what you are here for. The Prophecy. Now that you've brought Lupe I suppose I can tell..."

"Please do Mylei," World says.

Mylei's eyes roll up into the back of her head and she says, "You might want to write this down somewhere," before giving in to whatever force that has possessing her. World's hand darts into her pocket and she fishes out a pad of paper and a feather pen.

"For the one that changes at the turn of day,
Howling at what you can never have.
So high in the sky,
It makes you feel restless, like the moon does unto you.
It lights up everybody else's life,
So why not yours?
Why a curse to only you?
Why received by all but you?
But what scares the you most,
Terrifies the darkness more.
That three star alignment
Covers in fear when faced with this.
At the turn of day,
Change and realize that what you lack,
That fabled idea,
Has been there backing you up the whole time.
But you were blind to what you already have."

Spoiler
I got this idea almost three years ago when I was in fifth grade, nearly eleven but not quite so. The plot was totally different then... Lupe's and Destiny's names were inspired from a math worksheet I was doing in school the same year. World's name was inspired from the song 'Light in Your Eyes' by Sheryl Crow. And Kale's name I just made up on the spot (it was better than naming him 'knight'). Any feedback or nitpicks is greatly appreciated! If you have something to say, say it. Don't be afraid to rip it to shreds or be brutally honest; I need it and so does my writing. My feelings won't get hurt. If they do that is my fault and I need to toughen up. Thank you in advance! :)
Last edited by Sannah on Sat Jun 25, 2011 8:53 pm, edited 13 times in total.
"Raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth." My Chemical Romance
"I will never cease to fly if held down and I will always reach too high." Vanessa Carlton
"And rest assured, cause' dreams don't turn to dust." Owl City




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Wow. I'm sorry but I dont feel qualified to critique that:) Only thing I can say is maybe put an extra line between paragraphs because it seems to 'clump'. Besides that it was easy to read and I loved it, like really really loved it! :P
Are you sure your only 13?

-Layla Flame
ps. im looking forward to the next chapter:)
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At least, for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here and where do we go
And how come it's so hard”
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Thank you for the advice. I put a line in-between each paragraph like you said and it is much easier to read now.
"Raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth." My Chemical Romance
"I will never cease to fly if held down and I will always reach too high." Vanessa Carlton
"And rest assured, cause' dreams don't turn to dust." Owl City




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Sannah, this is awesome!! I love it!
My only suggestion is that you might want to insert some more commas every now and then (because I'm so very experienced at this kind of thing), but other than that, this is great! You have to tell me how you made the prophecy... I'm terrible at that kind of stuff!
(By the way, I think I know where you got the "no one ever bothers to look up" quote from....)
"We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?"
-Fahrenheit 451




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I really, really enjoyed this. Like a lot. I hope you decide to continue writing this and post more soon. If you do, please let me know. I'd absolutely love to read it. Maybe you should space your paragraph's a little more though, it's a bit hard to read when it's all smashed together like that. But other then that, I don't think I found any SpaG errors. it was beautifully written, has a nice pace, and is a pretty good length. Great job and good luck on your future writes.




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It was very GOOD ! I just have read only 1/4 of it but I already loved it. My eyes were hurting so I have to stop reading on the screen. But tomorrow I'll definitely going to finish it. I just imagined Twilight by reading this one. That's not a bad sign right? :)
It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities

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all i have to say is ............more! please keep me informed when you post more and plese do. post more i mean!
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I used to be Writer97 but that was boring so I changed it. PandaRawr is more me.




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Reviews 4
I read some of this and I have to say this is absolutely AMAZING!!! :D



That smells like the inside of a tropical rainforest.
— Yoshikrab's friend