Beneath the Surface

Spoiler

I wrote this today. This poem was a "spur of the moment" kind of thing; I quite literally woke up and just wrote it. So, critics, try and not be too harsh? Haha.

Maybe I’m just beating a dead horse,
Maybe I’m looking at a starless night;
Searching for answers in all the wrong places,
Because a part of me just wants to know if you’re doing alright.

But I know you won’t answer,
When in your opinion, I am just beneath the surface.

Maybe I still think of you,
Maybe I’m not afraid to resurrect your ghost;
Playing with fire, but disregarding the burns,
Because the very thought of you has me engrossed.

But I know you won’t shed a thought,
When in your mind, I am just beneath the surface.

Maybe I didn’t want you to go,
Maybe I regret for having held open the door for you;
Wishing now to burn back the sun,
Because you’re something I’ll always hold on to.

But I know you’d be more than happy to see me gone,
When in your life, I am just beneath the surface.

2011 Vincent Cuccolo

I liked this, it was awesome. It had meaning to it. I think the rhyme in the first stanza (night/alright) was slightly forced, or even cliche, but other than that it flowed nicely and made sense. Positively sensational job!!

Thank you very much, Sassykat! I appreciate your feedback, and perhaps I shall reconsider the night/alright rhyme again!

Gah, I do love reading your work =] There's always so much going on, so much to interpret and feel. This poem in particular has a lot of emotion. I sort of had this little scene in my head playing all the while, which sort of matched what you were saying. But any who, overall a descent, solid poem. Beneath the Surface... there are so many instances that people can relate to with this. Splendid work =]

Thank you very much, tydecker777! I am happy to hear that you enjoy my work! It very much warms my heart!