"Pant's on the ground! Pant's on the ground! Lookin' so cool with your pants on the ground!" Haha sorry, I had to do that. Love the poem! It's so fun and original.
May all your bacon BURN! ~Calcifer "Howl's Moving Castle"
Um, I didn't really get the point of that, but allright go with that - awesome job. A little repetetive, and deffinitely not world-class literature but I do get what people are saying - refreshing. I didn't particularly like it, but it was funny I guess.
The strong mind can confront lies and illusions without being lost. The strong heart can withstand the poison of hatred without being harmed.
This is hilarious!! Great lighthearted poem to read. The nitpicks have been pointed out, I just wanted to say I enjoyed it! Would you mind checking my stuff out if you get a second? Thanks!
Formerly EmilytheNovelist REL stands for Rachel, Emily, Lauren, the initials of my triplet sisters and I “I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner. ”
2. I often feel like not wearing my pants. So usually I do just take them and throw them on the floor! Points for accuracy.
3. You should record this and make a music video and put on youtube, I bet you'd get a trillion hits.
This was a riot and I really don't have any huge advice. With poetry/lyrics there is MUCH leniency on grammar, punctuation, etc. I liked that you used 'cuz instead of because, it made it flow better, a more "roll of the tongue" way of reading.
My favorite part? "Lemme tell ya something, Life just ain't right If you can't walk around Because your pants are too tight."
There are so many people I wish I could say this too, honestly.
GOLD STAR! aka you rock, don't ever change.
-RL
All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something great will come of it.
I love this poem! I was like singing the part " I dont wanna wear my pants anymore, I dont wanna wear my pants anymore!" It is so hilarious! That put a smile on my face Nice job.!!
The title and the whole poem is catchy ! :0 LOL
It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities
What holds you betwixt panic and serenity? That is, if it's not among the many querulous quagmires unfit for elaboration. — soundofmind as Emiliano Achillinus
Love the poem! It's so fun and original.
