Rage

The burning anger,
The raging sea.
Rage leaves no room
For subtle emotion
Or sound reason.
It destroys the wielder
And uses them.
It doesn't care
For it can only
Consume.

Hey! I really liked this poem. It was sharp and quirky and very dramatic. I liked the essence and the theme of the poem, though I do think this particular part needs altering:

EtCetera wrote:The raging sea.
Rage

You've used rage twice. Try something different ie 'the sea of fury'. Hope this helps. Happy writing and well done.
btw *like*
~ Amelia

Hi, I think you did a really good job on this poem. I love how it's so short yet powerful and relatable. Really, the only thing I can think of wrong with this is what the person in front of me already mentions.

Oh, and also where you say:

It destroys the wielder
And uses them.

You can't really use something you've destroyed, can you? Also, 'uses' isn't a very good word. I think it would sound better if you said something like

It wrecks the wielder
And manipulates them.

Other than that, great job! Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

Hey Etc,

This is a poem based on an emotion, yet I feel absolutely nothing reading it, which might mean something is off. What you've got right now reads more like a (rather cliché) definition than anything else. It doesn't bring anything new, doesn't have any interesting turn of phrase or image or metaphor or story that would make it stand out and give it some depth.

It's all very superficial--what is it about this rage in particular? What makes it special? Or if you're talking about it in a general sense, then make it broader, more grandiose. There's a lot of things you could tell, many stories that could turn around that emotion, but you show none of it here, only poke at those overdone phrases like "destroy the wielder", "raging sea", "doesn't care". The thing is, everyone's seen those lines a hundred times already. What you want is find a way to touch the reader, to give it your own unique spin and make it so it will be remembered and stand out from the flock.

Hope this helps.

Jag

I actually really liked this poem, contrary to what others might say. Sure, some words could have been replaced by others, but this is your interpretation, no? It's quite simple, but to the point (and that's all that matters to me). And if you would want to make it longer, it's not really published so you could always edit it, make it longer, whatever. I personally think it rocks. Your writing's amazing, by the way. That's my compliment for the day!