On the other side of the world

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On the other side of the world

There’s snow on his doorstep, and his door is ajar;
the chill seeps in like an uninvited memory.
He tries to drown her dark eyes in hot cocoa
and forget her voice and her lilting accent.
He shivers because it is winter
and she is not with him.

There was no winter back at home.
The sun would stare him down with all its fury
but he only felt the sunlight in her eyes.
Her voice was the warmest breeze of summer,
evoking the gentlest of memories;
they used to play in the rain and race upon the white sand beaches.
He had kissed her goodbye in the dying light of a sunset
and her tears fell like the first storm of the summer.

He shivers because it was never cold at home;
and he misses her.
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you.:)




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I really adored this. I showed awesome emotion, and it made me feel bad for the guy you were writing about. Awesome job. :) The only thing I'd suggest is to watch the grammar. As long as you watch that, and make sure it's right, it'll be awesome. :)
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss




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Daaawwwww, Knightly, I think my heart just melted. This is just too sweet and charming, even if all the references to winter did make me a bit chilly. But I do have two little nitpicks:

There's snow on his doorstep, and his door is ajar;


The use of "door" and "doorstep" in the same line feels repetitive. Even if they're technically different words, they have the same sound so things can feel a little clumsy which isn't great for a first line.

There was no winter back at home.

I would chose between one or the other, either "back" or "at." But both of them together seem uncomfortable. If I were to make the choice myself, I would chose "back" instead of "at." Otherwise, I really like this line. It's simple but sweet.

He tries to drown her dark eyes in hot cocoa
and forget her voice and her lilting accent.


I love the description here. It's not a cliche which wins you brownie points in my book. It evokes somevery tragic imagery.<3

I did really enjoy this and if you have any questions, you know how to reach me. :D
Never forget who you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.




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I like this the way it is, it's beautiful. I just wanted to say that this poem made me crave hot cocoa, and we don't have any milk. So that really sucks.




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Wow, I really enjoyed reading this poem!
You can feel the emotion and the passion,
I can tell you put your heart and soul into this poem,
that what real poetry is all about,
keeping the flow and expressing your true emotions.

-Excellent job keep writing.



I don't think so alliyah, but don't quote me on that.
— TheBlueCat