When We Were Younger

Hi,
I loved this poem. I really did. I'm not just saying it, I thought this poem was fantastic. I can totally relate to it. All of us want to be innocent and naive and little again, go back to a time when nothing was so complicated as it is now. I couldn't find any mistakes so I'm sorry I don't have any criticisms for you. I guess one way you could improve it is make it longer. Maybe you could mention more of such naiveties, like how meaningless the fights between friends were and how quickly we used to be friends again. Just a suggestion. I think the poem is lovely as it is.

Sorry I couldn't be much help,

Priyansha

First off, good job, I'm the human host of Horus and I'm excited to critique! It was cute!

That many of us, (No comma needed) forgot long ago?

On white dandelions,
That blew away,

If you have commas everywhere else, might as well here.

And they became your best friend,

Can we go back,
To a simpler time?

This was a question.

Those are really the only edits I have. It is a good simple poem, and it was nice to read. There isn't much to change.... I like the story, love the message, and think it is just great. If there were one thing I would suggest, it would be to use a little more descriptive words. It isn't necessary, but it would help it to become a FANTASMICAL poem. So yeah... I hope I helped, and if you have any questions, feel free to let me know!

-HostofHorus

P.S. I like color.

Short, sweet, simple, and with a great message! I like this poem a lot. It makes me very nostalgic thinking about these vivid images you've put in here. I used to do most all of these things, and I do miss the time when I was a little kid. When nothing really mattered except food, crayons, play time, and wearing a helmet. Back when the world could be falling down around you, and you didn't care as long as you had your favorite stuffed animal. Yeah, those were the days Anyway, I really like this, and I can't really say anything bad about it! You have a lot of talent, and I hope you continue to write more! If you ever need a review, advice, a kind word, discussion, yada yada, feel free to drop me a line. I'm always ready to read or talk about anything!
- SOCKS

Awe, I love this poem! I wish I could go back to when I was younger and everything was simplier...
There weren't any errors or suggestsions that I could find, so sorry for not being much help : P
I loved these two parts:

When being cool,
Meant having the 64 pack,
Of Crayola Crayons,
With the sharpener on the back.

Ahahaha! So true

When you met someone,
And they became you best friend,
Right away because,
You could trust them,
With your whole heart.

Again, so true.

Anyways, I really ejoyed reading this poem. I think that many other people can relate to it. Awesome job!

I liked this poem. But the last two lines. might sound better if you reversed the order. Other than that, great job.

I love this!It reminds me of the song Back When by Tim Mcgraw! Love it!

My favorite part:

When being cool,
Meant having the 64 pack,
Of Crayola Crayons,
With the sharpener on the back.

I remember those days! Hahahaha! Great writing! Keep it up!