Shout it to the World.

There once was a young girl, smart and slick
Her favorite things to use were her pen and her pick

She played her guitar whenever she could,
But did most her homework, like a good girl should

Her parents, they watched her and asked if she wanted to be a big star
She said it might be nice, but I'm not that great on guitar,

Infact my life long dream is to be a famous author
Her Dad said she wasn't good enough, throw in the towel, don't bother

But she held on to her dreams, and she's more motivated now too!
She's going to wright for a living, just watch, she'll show you!

So now she sits in her room writing stories, songs and poems
All on a silly website just so that she can show em'

Hi! First of all, I thought this was cute and I loved it! It was amusing and kept me focused on reading!

sapphirewednesday wrote:Her parents, they watched her and asked if she wanted to be a big star

I think you should trim some off of this line, it's too long and takes from the flow of the poem.

sapphirewednesday wrote:All on a silly website just show she can show em'

I think you could have ended stronger, but that's just my opinion.

Anyhow, I liked this, maybe more punctuation at times? Keep writing, I enjoyed!!

~Tear

I loved this whole thing.

There once was a young girl, smart and slick
Her favorite things to use were her pen and her pick Period.

She played her guitar whenever she could,
But did most her homework, like a good girl should Period.

Her parents, they watched her and asked if she wanted to be a big star
She said it might be nice, but I'm not that great on guitar,

Infact (A space needs to be here)my life long dream is to be a famous author
Her Dad said she wasn't good enough, throw in the towel, don't bother

But she held on to her dreams, and she's more motivated now too!
She's going to wright for a living, just watch, she'll show you! Write instead of wright.

So now she sits in her room writing stories, songs and poems
All on a silly website just so she can show em'

That was really cute. Great job.

Hello there,

I personally really liked this and although I am not a huge fan of rhyming I did think it really worked in this format with this particular poem. I also really liked the plot in this as well. It was very poetic yet at the same time it told the story very well. Most people usually struggle when writing narrative poetry because it is hard to get a balance of story and poetic language, you managed to maintain both these quality's in this poem. I absolutely loved this keep writing!

From CuteJackRussell

This was cute and interesting. I liked the fun little story you had in here. I am not big on rhyming nor can I rhyme in a poem to save my life. But it totally worked here. So kudos to you! Great job and keep up the good work. Keep Writing

I liked this a lot.

Although, some of the lines could do with being more matched, syllable wise. I think that as you've made a nice cute poem that rhymes, you definitely should make the syllables match a little better because it will give the the reader much more impact when reading.

I also like the way it reminds me of a fairy tale. Now I would usually hate this because you know:

Once upon a cliche

really isn't great to read haha

But this wasn't cliche, it was good and I liked it.

Overall: just change the syllables and it will be great .

Wow - that made me LOL when I read it! Really good, intresting work that made me want to keep reading. Keep Writing, and you WILL be a star!
funkypanda X

Love it! It flows nicely, and it's entertaining! I do most my homework too! Hahaha! Keep writing!

You are a really talented writer! Other that a few spelling mistakes, this is really good. You have no periods in the entire poem which isn't good. It's best when you break up the poem with pauses. Like if you are reading it out loud, you want to have an appropriate place to pause. Otherwise, looks good!

Well look at that! Now that's a very relatable, sweet poem you've written there I like it a lot, and I think you have a very nice story and imagery here. I can imagine it now...

She played her guitar whenever she could,
But did most her homework, like a good girl should

Her parents, they watched her and asked if she wanted to be a big star
She said it might be nice, but I'm not that great on guitar,

Infact my life long dream is to be a famous author
Her Dad said she wasn't good enough, throw in the towel, don't bother

Now that's the story of many teens' lives. I'm happy to say my parents have always been supportive of what I wanted to do, but I'm fortunate, and I know not everyone has that. But this is a great story, and I'm glad you wrote it for all of us to read.

Well, you know the deal. I'm always open for review requests and the like.
- SOCKS

Haha, I love this! I can totally relate to it! I have just a few comments and suggestions to make.

There once was a young girl, smart and slick.
Her favorite things to use were her pen and her pick.

She played her guitar whenever she could,
But did most of her homework, like a good girl should.

Her parents, they watched her and asked if she wanted to be a big star.
She said it might be nice, but I'm not that great on guitar,

Infact (space in between in and fact) my life long dream is to be a famous author.
Her Dad said she wasn't good enough, throw in the towel, don't bother period or comma

But she held on to her dreams, and she's more motivated now too!
She's going to wright for a living, just watch, she'll show you!

So now she sits in her room writing stories, songs and poems
All on a silly website just so that she can show em'

I would normally suggest not using the word 'em, but it seems to fit very well into the context of the poem.
Overall, great job, and a very good poem to read!!