248

5 posts
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Points 2492
Reviews 77
To Alabama, Kentucky, and Tennessee,
to Georgia, Virginia, and Mississippi.

To the 248 families forever changed,
to the lives gone, or rearranged.

To the brave souls who lost their home
to those who have been left alone.

And here's to the 248, on their last day
were torn from us. For you, we'll pray.

Here's to you, a hopeful hand
so you can walk, balanced, on destroyed land.

You're far from helpless, trust in me,
trust in us all, together, you'll see,

we'll battle this disaster, make it through.
The nation, truly, is here for you.
Southern hospitality just ain't what it used to be...

...Ain't what it used to be...




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Points 1040
Reviews 58
This is a nice poem. You did good on the stanzas and the rhyming. :) Keep up the good work.
90% of writing is re-writing!




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Gender Female
Points 3354
Reviews 111
First of all, I loved the title for this. This poem has a sad yet deep meaning to it. You did a wonderful job with it. Very well writ. The last line is probably the best, in my opinion. Keep up the good work! Keep writing!
"The only bad ideas are the ones never tried." - Puck, The Sisters Grimm




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Gender Female
Points 1115
Reviews 36
The message is very touching. The use of couplets work perfectly for this poem. The title nicely emphasizes the indiviual, which is important in this knd of poem. Your voice is very strong and direct. I particullarly like the second stanza. I think it is perfect as is, but if you are looking to go a little deeper some imagery might be helpful-- as long as you don' get too graphic because the best part of this poem is that it is positive and uplifting. Great poem!
"It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."

~William Ernest Henley




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Points 1071
Reviews 26
Short, sweet, to the point! I really liked it! The rhymes were awesome and the topic, something I really respect. Thank you for sharing!
-sapphirewednesday<3



i think. i want to become. something.
— chrysanthemumcentury