Happy Birthday, Teenager

Hahahahahahahahahaha...

That is all.

LOVE IT! This made me laugh...
p.s.- "rioty" = not a word.
KEEP WRITING, THIS LOOKS GREAT!

I love it! Simply because it says everything that a teen that parents want to say to their teen children.

Happy Birthday, my child!
You’re now officially a teen.
And according to the public,
you’re impulsive and obscene. - a very good starter to a wonderful poem.

Forgive this generalization
of your age group as a whole,
but you're now sulky misfit
or just an acne-ridden soul. - it's annoying to admit but yes, it's true.

You’re a juvenile delinquent
and a menace to society.
You’re crazy, instantaneous,
rebellious, and rioty.

You’re a room-dwelling skulker
and a creature of the night,
who stays out at odd hours
and sleeps when it’s light. - Definitely!

You’re in a constant dark mood;
you’re either upset or you’re mad.
You’re a master of sarcasm—
Gee thanks a lot, Dad!

But even though you’re a vandal
and a wide spreader of litter,
you’re still the parent’s first call
when they're in need of a sitter! - Don't know why but yes, this is what really happens to teens worldwide.

So, I couldn't find anything wrong with it grammatically. Anyway, I loved it. I reiterate, lovely poem!

Hello there,

I certainly understand what you are getting at here and I reckon a lot of people can definately relate to this. Everyone young and old is very stereotypical about teenagers and their 'ways'. Although I'm not a huge fan of the whole rhyming thing I did think it really worked in this case. It certainly added more flow to the poem in general and made people start to read it out loud to themselves. I particularly liked the fourth stanza because it was so simple and true. Overall it's really good and very interesting too read.

From CuteJackRussell

Hahah you got ALL the stereotypes for us lovely and brooding teenagers. This made me laugh and laugh till I was laughing on the floor unable to stop... very nicely done. Oh how I would say not ALL teens are like this and would love to point out people use stereotypes too much in my opinion XD Good job with this and I truly loved it. Keep up with the good work and Happy Writing!!!! Best of Wishes!!!!
Soulkana<3

I loved this! All the stereotypes are so true, but totally misleading. Nice perspective too!

The rhythm is perfect. The rhymes are all cleverly worded, it keeps the reader on their toes. I like the satiric overtones, mainly because it maintains that light upbeat feel to it. Great poem

Aw, this is adorable.

Hi.. I can't help but say its really great.. You've given it a very nice starting. though the flow was good, somehow I felt that maybe this poem would have been loads better without a rhyme. The rhyme was kind of forced... As reviewers before have mentioned, The use of word 'rioty' was wrong, but it made a good effect... Overall though it was a great laugh and very funny to read..

Forgive this generalization
of your age group as a whole,
but you're now sulky misfit
or just an acne-ridden soul.
This was very nice.. and adding that 'acne-ridden soul' thing was a great idea.. It indeed is a thing most of us girls spend their time worrying about..

You%u2019re in a constant dark mood;
you%u2019re either upset or you%u2019re mad.
You%u2019re a master of sarcasm%u2014
Gee thanks a lot, Dad!
This sarcasm line and the next line was just awesome!! It was good thinking by writing it as a compliment..

But even though you%u2019re a vandal
and a wide spreader of litter,
you%u2019re still the parent%u2019s first call
when they're in need of a sitter!
This was the best part.. You know when you babysit your siblings you get money.. In my house..No damn way!! I have to work for free and my bro is like total jerk.. maybe that's why I loved this stanza... Awesome!!yet again!!

Brilliantly written!! Loved it!!
Harshita..

Let me start off with saying I LOVED this!

Happy Birthday, my child!
You’re now officially a teen.
And according to the public,
you’re impulsive and obscene. Amen. All I hear my grandmother talk about is how obnoxious teenagers are and how they can't use there brain.

Forgive this generalization
of your age group as a whole,
but you're now sulky misfit
or just an acne-ridden soul. This last line seemed a bit off, but that was about the only thing wrong witht his poem, in my opinion.

You’re a juvenile delinquent
and a menace to society.
You’re crazy, instantaneous,
rebellious, and rioty.This stanza was awesome.

You’re a room-dwelling skulker
and a creature of the night,
who stays out at odd hours
and sleeps when it’s light. Every stanza in this poem showed just how everyone looks at teen-agers.

You’re in a constant dark mood;
you’re either upset or you’re mad.
You’re a master of sarcasm—
Gee thanks a lot, Dad! Sarcasm- the language of teen-agers.

But even though you’re a vandal
and a wide spreader of litter,
you’re still the parent’s first call
when they're in need of a sitter!

Love, love, loved this stanza.

This poem made me think of a teenage stereotype. But I loved it anyway. My favorite part was when you wrote "Acne-ridden soul", it was very creative.

Keep Writing!

Nike

If this poem were ever printed on a greeting card, it would increase the national amount of paper used by a hundredfold! This is a fantastic and hilarious look at teenagers. Haha, would laugh at this forever if I wasn't trying to review it, so let's get down to business...

But even though you’re a vandal
and a wide spreader of litter,
you’re still the parent’s first call
when they're in need of a sitter!

Perfect ending to everything. Not only is it hilarious, but it's true! You begin to wonder after a while why parents are so comfortable with such a (according to the poem) horrendous influence on the children. Oh well, some mysteries just stay mysterious.

I like how the whole tone is lighthearted and almost apologetic to the teenager. I can just picture a happy-go-lucky mom reading this to her child at a party (in fact, could I have your permission to print this out and read it to my next friend with a teenage birthday? pretty please with points on top? ). The narrator really gives the poem it's voice, which is very good.

You've pretty much exploited every laughable teenage stereotype ever invented, and I applaud you for it. I've observed every one of these to be true. One thing I noticed though, it didn't look like you had a joke about constantly eating and always being hungry in there. Maybe I missed it, but if it's not there, you should add it! Anyway, great poem, great subject, and if you ever want another review, please drop me a line!
- SOCKS

hi! okay, here to tear apart your poem sing prasies of your poem.

Happy Birthday, my child!
You’re now officially a teen.
And according to the public,
you’re impulsive and obscene.
Forgive this generalization
of your age group as a whole,
but you're now sulky misfit
or just an acne-ridden soul.
You’re a juvenile delinquent
and a menace to society.
You’re crazy, instantaneous,
rebellious, and rioty.
You’re a room-dwelling skulker
and a creature of the night,
who stays out at odd hours
and sleeps when it’s light.
You’re in a constant dark mood;
you’re either upset or you’re mad.
You’re a master of sarcasm—
Gee thanks a lot, Dad!
But even though you’re a vandal
and a wide spreader of litter,
you’re still the parent’s first call
when they're in need of a sitter!

I have to be honest. this sounds like a random peice of work that wasn't thought through. it doesn't flow, and it doesn't fit together like it should. it seems to me to be a peice of text then another and so on.
this isn't the best I've read but its not the worst. it just needs worked on. so lets start with that:
1. like I said block of text after block of text
2. You did good with the puncuation. Koodos to you.
3. I don't think these are true statements of what a teenager is. I really don't.
4. I know you were trying to rhyme, but I think you should just let that go, it made the poem inconsitent, and really and truley the rule that all poems have to ryhme, is wrong.
You have a ryhme here, a rhyme there and it doesn't fit into one beatiful picture. Thats the thing you want. a picture fitted together out of peices. like a puzzle.

So next time you are writing a poem, think puzzle.
It helped me.

I know, sometimes poetry works, sometimes it doesn't. this might have been one of those times for you. Its really good, considering that youv'e only been here a week or so, its much better than my first poem. so kudos to you. I think you are a gifted poet. just think puzzle.

I'm sorry to give you such a hard review. don't hate me.
Pointe

Hello there.

Nitpicks:

Happy Birthday, my child!
You’re now officially a teen.
And according to the public,
you’re impulsive and obscene.

- Nice beginning. It's engaging.

but you're now sulky misfit

- 'misfit' is a noun so I think you forgot to put 'a' before 'sulky'.

and sleeps when it’s light.

- I think it's better if you used 'bright' rather than 'light'. o.o

Gee thanks a lot, Dad!

- I think you meant this is as a dialogue from the child, so I think you should put this in quotation marks to make it clear.


Nice poem. it was interesting and entertaining to read. It's realistic too, except the fact that you made the child look like a total mess of a person. xD But I don't think that's a big issue. Also, I like the rhymes and the wording. And I think you've put enough imagery in this poem. Nice job!

Never stop writing!

hi, the poem was quite captivating describing the nuances of the adolescent stage.....
i am sure ,it must have served as nostalgia for many of grown ups...i liked the simple yet personal touch added to the poem which compels to empathize oneself with your plight....except for some minor grammatical mistakes and simple writing, it was a good work......