Dear, YWS

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:23 am

snickerdooly says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:23 am

Dear,
YWS

Thanks to you
I never finish my
homework.

Thanks to you
my chores are never
completed.

My poor family
is neglected and
alone.

But you YWS
have made me
a new person.

I no longer watch
T.V or pig out on boredom food
I write.

I write poetry
and make new friends
though I don't even know who most of them are.

My life is
easier with you
here.

My life began to
grow and revolve around
you, YWS.

Everyday I visit you
hoping to be featured
but I never am.

No hard feelings though
I get it you're
busy.

With friends
and with enemies life
feels kinda tough.

But with you
here, I know
I'll make it.

Thank you YWS
you've made my life
livable.

Sincerely your biggest stalker,
Snickerdooly

Spoiler

I wrote this on a stint of thinking about my obsession with YWS recently, there is not one day that I do not log on. YWS is my internet home page

If my mother knew what I was doing when I was suppose to be doing my "homework," I wonder what she would do?

Thanks for reading, this was just a fun thing to do to show how much I love this place so I'm not looking for any major edits.

4-26-11 So I have a funny story about my mom it happened after I posted this, I was telling her how I got one of my poems featured on YWS. She asked to read it and I couldn't say no, so after she read it she looked at me and said, "Everything in moderation." Then told me to go do my homework!

haha just something I thought to share

Last edited by snickerdooly on Wed Apr 27, 2011 2:35 am, edited 4 times in total.

"Characters cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller

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Boolovesyou

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Points 1305

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:29 am

Boolovesyou says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:29 am

I like the point of the poem, but it is kind of bland. I only noticed one mistake however,

With friends
and with enemies life
feels kinda tough.

Kinda should be kind of.

Thats it! Any questions PM me!

Milestiba uzvar visu, Milestiba ir upuris.

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GiggleGremlin

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:34 am

GiggleGremlin says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:34 am

This is really funny =D I liked reading it. Everyone should like it so you get a feature!! =)

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fireheartedkaratepup

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:35 am

fireheartedkaratepup says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:35 am

...."Kind of" is not grammatically correct. (Neither is "kinda", but it can be excused as slang, in my opinion.)

And it's "you're busy" not "your busy".

And I totally agree with pretty much everything here.

And I don't think it's bland.

"Ok, Lolpup. You can be a girl worth fighting for."
--Pengu

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xoCairo

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:41 am

xoCairo says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:41 am

I loved this! It was funny, and just about everyone here can relate. I haven't even been a member for a week and already I've neglected most of the things in your poem (-cough- my father was not happy about the chores...). But the point is, this was simply amazing. The small mistakes have already been pointed out, so I have nothing left to say.

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Jessa

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:55 am

Jessa says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:55 am

Oh my gosh in loved this!!!!! I actually laughed out loud while reading it. This poem fits me (and probably a lot of other people) perfectly. Every time I open the internet this is the first place I come...I even asked my school advisor to unlock this site so I could go on during my study halls! I did not find any edits, so you just get praise from me! It was simply wonderful, and I hope it gets featured! You get a like from me!

-Jessa

P.S. I don't think this is bland either :]

Love is like a butterfly, it settles upon you when you least expect it.
Drew Marrymore

~Jessa~

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Amberla93

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:54 am

Amberla93 says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:54 am

Hi!

This is wondeful, and it was me not too long ago, though I havent been on in a while.. :/ The errors have been pointed out. But I just wanted to say that you get a "like" from me! I had my first piece featured on here a few weeks ago.. and I haven't been a member as long as some people. I know how happy ot made me, so I'm hoping this will be featured so you can know the 'happy camper' state I was in.

God Bless,
Amber

Life is short, so make the best of the time you have!

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kathy45662

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:15 pm

kathy45662 says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:15 pm

I liekd this poem. If I had wrote it I would have put that I avoid work on my computer, and skip onto YWS. HAHA. You did a good job! Keep up the great work!

90% of writing is re-writing!

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TylynRae

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:59 pm

TylynRae says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:59 pm

You're featured now =]]

TylynTyrannosaurus<3 (tydecker777)

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lele253isme

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:09 pm

lele253isme says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:09 pm

Very, very good!!! You put into words the exact same feelings that I have!!!!

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Qoh16

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:29 pm

Qoh16 says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:29 pm

Haha. I liked this. It was really funny. And I needed a laugh. And what you said is so true. I think my moms has figured out i havent been actually doing my homework...heehee..so i feel ya. Good luck. Happy Writing!!

~Life has a song for every moment in life. It is just the matter of finding the right one.~

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NLPrincess13

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:10 pm

NLPrincess13 says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:10 pm

well it's featured now! isn't it?
any way i love love love it! good choice, it fits me too perfectly! i laugh it out loud while reading cause it was funny and simple, but very cute

keep up and update with more pieces!
don't worry it will be featured too

<3 Princess of Neverland <3

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snickerdooly

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Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:32 pm

snickerdooly says... · Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:32 pm

Thanks everyone!!!!! I'm soo grateful and happy! I'm featured my very first time, thanks for all you comments and likes! You're all amazing!
Peace,
Snickerdooly

"Characters cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller

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cupcake

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Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:11 am

cupcake says... · Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:11 am

I just have to say I love this poem. It's just what I needed to read after a long day. Congratulations on having a fetured poem. That's all Keep up the great work!

God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
“I’ll Surprise you, I promise”
-Adam Lambert

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ChocolateMoonLight

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Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:36 pm

ChocolateMoonLight says... · Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:36 pm

hey!
I love your poem. It's also my story in so many ways, my family is also deprived of my attention, I watch less and less T.V. everyday, I never did my homework before too, so that didn't change, I never complete chores on time, I've made tons of new friends and I am falling in love with YWS too.
It really gave me a platform to display my before neglected work, helped me in improving my writing skills and all in all it gave me a reason to write...
Thanks for sharing this amazing piece....

Spoiler

Checkout the different shades of sunset...
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Need a review??? Click here! http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic87443.html#p913699%20URL%20Review%20Bar...

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