The storm

Wind like the hand of God himself, swirled around me and threatened to consume me
Yet it was not like the Lord at all, for it was more evil than a fallen angel
The raindrops, so elegant and gentle before, now spikes sharp as steel, biting at my flesh
It has taken everything from me, for it now threatened to rip the clothes from my very back.
Who am I, to survive in this, just a bag of bones and flesh and blood? I am worthless
The storm swirled faster and faster still, more livid and filled with hate than ever before
I am nothing compared to this great, evil storm. Take my life, for I am nothing
Suddenly, light brighter than the a shining sun exploded from within me
And the storm, the storm was slowing! But a heart piercing shriek was growing
It grew louder and louder still, ‘till I collapsed, holding myself to keep from breaking
But the light also grew brighter and brighter, and I held on to that light to save myself
Now the storm, the shriek, and all the evil itself, was gone.
Not even a whisper

This was pretty good; I love your use of words. But I think you need to break it up a bit more, to make it easier to read and more organized. Your punctuation was good, and I liked that too. Keep writing. [:

I agree with Tamara, it was a little hard to read because of the long line's and no spacing, but it was great, regardless of what it looked like The first two lines were so strong, full of detail. second and third line's were great to, can't really critique this! Ok, the rest was great too. I loved the morale, and not just because i'm christian and you said God, you made the morale memorable by making it about overcoming evil through yourself.

I found one thing to critique. The MC gets rid of her evil storm, but the reader can't tell how she fared. Did she die? What? It may be because of my inability to read poetry, but it was a bit confusing even though it sounded great and rhythmic.

I'm actually right with you on the poetry thing. I just sort of wrote it down during a flash of inspiration. Well, the rough outline, anyway. I added the details later on. Thank you both for your reviews! If I ever find myself writing poetry again, I'll take your advice and space better. Thanks again.
Best Wishes!

Alright, since the others have mentioned the lack of structuring, I won't go into it too much. It does look a bit full and hard to read though.

The poem you have there is certainly dramatic. I liked your style. I can't seem to find out why. Maybe it has something to do with the narrator being noble? Since the narrator is lowering himself and speaking about God and such. But yes, I like your style. No, I can't seem to pinpoint why exactly.

I do have a tiny, tiny problem with your second line though:

TheGreatBronsteeny wrote:Yet it was not like the Lord at all, for it was more evil than a fallen angel

More evil than a fallen angel. A fallen angel doesn't seem evil enough. It still seemed a bit angelic and innocent. What about a reigning devil? Or something to do with the devil. They seem to generate some evilness.

Also, I think you need to explain the light exploding from you bit though. The light seemed to come out of nowhere with no explanation. So, a little explanation would help.

Other than that, it's pretty good. Keep it up!