When we return home, I avoid Richard and busy myself preparing dinner. I hear the sound of tins dropping and rolling on the floor. I turn around and see Richard struggling with his luggage and supplies. His eyes dart towards me for a second, as if expecting my help. I return to my preparations until Daddy walks in after placing two mosquito coils around the house. In his hand holds another to be placed by the window near the hammocks. He frowns and helps Richard pick up the tins of baked beans and tomato puree.
‘Ellie, don’t just stand there. Help us find another tin. Why is it that you cannot help Richard?’ Daddy says, exasperated. I mumble something about making dinner and kneel on the floor, trying to find the last tin. When everything is over, Daddy helps me to prepare dinner, insisting that Richard is the guest of honor for the night. Whilst preparing, I notice Richard looking curiously at my carelessly placed textbooks. He picks up my ESE Advanced Chemistry and smiles.
‘This book reminds me of my school days.’ He says, patting the book with his hand lightly. ‘I loathed my chemistry teacher, so naturally, I hated chemistry too. I remember thinking how useless it is, how to use a Bunsen burner and such.’
‘Richard please, do not influence my daughter. She hates school enough already. That is why she accompanied me here.’ Daddy says jokingly. I lower my head near to the boiling pot, smelling the aroma of baked beans and egg. I hear Richard laugh and say, ‘Well, school is not everything. Children need to experience things beyond academics, such as sports.’
‘Ellie is terrible at sports, especially footy. She loves art though. But I do want her to study hard, get a good job and reasonable pay, the whole lot.’ Daddy says cheerfully. I ladle the hot food onto plates and start preparing the bread.
Richard laughs, ‘A good job? Oh George, don’t think about employment before the child even finishes school. Maybe she wants to travel the world, who knows?’ I carry the plates and place them on the tiny table.
‘I’ll be listening to Daddy. I don’t have a trust fund which I can dip into any moment of any time to fulfill ludicrous dreams.’ I say quietly, but I am sure that he has heard me. I look up at him, ‘Unlike a certain someone.’ Daddy stares at me in shock. I feel my anger rising as Richard looks at me amusingly. Pompous, block-headed eejit!
‘Eleanor!’ Daddy exclaims, ‘That is incredibly rude. What has Richard said that offended you so much?’ I purse my lips and look down at my feet. Why doesn’t Daddy understand how dodgy Richard is? He is obviously trying to charm him into doing something he wants. Daddy may not see it now, but it will happen sooner or later. Daddy gets impatient at my continuous silence. ‘If you are not going to explain your impoliteness or apologize, you will not have any dinner.’
This has been a favorite of Daddy’s since I was little. He would say I couldn’t have any dinner because of something I done wrong. It is not much of a threat, but it makes me furious when he treats me like a child in front of a stranger. Embarrassed, I take my coat from my hammock and search for a torchlight.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m going out.’
‘It’s dark outside and it’s dangerous! There is absolutely no way you are to go out now.’
I stuff the torchlight into the coat pocket and march out the door. I’m not hungry anyway. It is total silence outside. Even farther out, I can still hear Daddy and Richard’s conversation. Daddy is apologizing to Richard.
‘Oh no, it’s alright. She’s probably having a Benny. She wasn’t very pleased when I arrived either.’ Richard says. I find the largest rock that I can lift and fling it down the slope with all my strength. Having a Benny? Who is having a Benny? Not I! I hear the dull thud of the rock hitting the ground and feel the satisfaction. Suddenly, I hear the sound of footsteps approaching me. I cover the torchlight’s glare with my hand, waiting for him to speak.
‘Ellie…’
It is Daddy. I do not want to look at him. He has made a fool out of me in front of that idiot of a man. I cannot forgive him.
‘Ellie, I am terribly sorry for what I said. I realize that you are already 16 years old now, and you must be mortified when I said that. I know I am. My father punished me the same way. But it doesn’t excuse the fact that you were rude to Richard.’ Daddy says. I am still facing towards the way to the project site, where there is a full moon. I slip my hand discreetly through the neck opening of my T-shirt and feel my heartbeat. Anger increases the rate of heartbeats too.
‘What is it that makes Richard so despicable to you? You acted incredibly spoiled back there. I was ashamed as well.’ Daddy says. I am suddenly angry again. Why is that nobody sees my point of view here? Can they not understand?
‘I don’t trust him.’ I turn around and say.
‘Richard? Why?’
‘I don’t know.’ I say slowly. ‘There’s something off about him. Something I don’t like. I think he’s very dodgy.’
‘Oh and how do you come to that conclusion?’ Daddy says sarcastically.
‘A woman’s instincts.’
Daddy guffaws. I am offended now. I thought I said the right thing.
‘My dear Ellie, you have learnt a lot from your mother. Maybe a little too much. I suppose you heard her say it when we argued? You are the splitting image and personality of your mother. That is all I can say.’ I remain quiet.
Daddy continues, ‘Well darling, the nights in Africa aren’t safe. We should be heading home and please, no talking back to poor Richard. I don’t think he feels very welcomed. I do not want him to leave just when he has arrived. There’re a few problems that are in need of his expertise.’
I look up to the sky that adorns thousands of brilliant stars. Is one of them Mama? Daddy is talking again, but I do not listen. My eyes are set on the stars, trying to find Mama’s star…."Only in the deepest silence of night the stars smile and whisper among themselves, ‘Vain is this seeking! Unbroken perfection is over all!’”
