Listen

I wrote this poem while I was on a walk, and the trees started to blow. Then this just kinda came to me. It was only a coincidence that it was on Earth Day I hope you enjoy it!









I want you people to be really harsh on this! If there's anything you think I should add, take out, rearrange the order of, or anything! Do not be afraid to be mean! Please and thank you.

By the way, when I say don't be afraid to be mean I really mean don't be afraid to point out if there's something you don't like but you could at least be gentle about it. Sorry, I guess I should have clarified that.

OK you said not to be afraid to be mean so here it goes XD: I think you need to work on the repetition; stead of using The way at the beginning most of the time. Also there is much you can add to this. Things you could use to drag us, readers, into it. This is really good and I love it just make it longer, make it draw us into it XD. Good luck and I hope this helps if you need any help please don't hesitate to send me a PM I'm willing to help ^^. Keep up the good work and may you receive many helpful reviews!!! Happy Writing!!!
Soulkana<3

I think its pretty Keep writing

It was a good base line I think, but maybe go back and add some detail to give us more of a wider picture to make this more interesting.

Please review this people! I need help!

Hi there. Lavvi in to review for you today.

You know, I thought this was too short and abrupt. Nature is smooth, supposed to blend well together. Well, here, it was like rocks banging against one another. Too choppy. I need some fluidity and this can be helped by punctuating correctly Really, all you need, is to put commas at the end of each line and you're set. Perhaps lengthen the poem: it will add more substance.

Yours,
Lavvi

The way the ocean waves the repetition or 'the way' takes away from your poem

The way the trees blow I really dislike the capitalization of every line.

The way the sun sets

The way the rain falls

The way the wind whispers

The world is speaking to uscomma

Listen


I like the idea, but it's too plain. Describe the way nature is talking, the leaves, the hues of the sunset.
Great ending.

Hello there.
I'm sorry to say but I think that this poem was a big lump of cliches. Except the Listen part.
You need to lengthen it a bit and add imagery to the sentences. Imagery can work wonders, you know.
And make it a flow freely just like the wave. xD Sorry for the failed laughter.
I have nothing more to say until you make it a poem that will make me push the "like" button.
I know you can do it.
Keep writing and start editing. xD

I agree. It needs to be expanded on, and imagery is really good at that. Try to add detail, because you have a good idea. I like short poetry, but adding detail doesn't make it bad. It makes it better. It makes it poetic and graceful, and I think this poem could use a bit more of that.
Keep Writing,
Bel

Hi there! I really liked this poem no matter how short it was! It's really pretty! Good job and keep it up! I really liked it!

- gleek456 <3