Stop and Stare (Part 10)

What's happened in this novel so far:

Spoiler

Austin, Charlie Black's friend, is responsible for accidentally stabbing and killing a young girl. A few weeks passed, and Charlie and Austin decided to go out to a youth club for the night where they met Jax, the other boy who witnessed the stabbing. Charlie and Austin went outside the club and into an alleyway when Zoey Cardle ran into Charlie... literally.

The girl Austin killed was Zoey Cardle's sister, but no one is aware of that. The group were outside when Jax came out of the club and began harassing and scaring the girls. Charlie, Austin and Jax were in the alleyway when Jax started getting aggressive with Charlie. It resulted in a fight and Jax ran off. Zoey and Beth stayed to help Charlie and Austin before leaving the club.

Zoey

Please, stop... I thought as the car revved along the motorway. Bizarre sounds came from the right of me as Luke continued drumming the steering wheel. Just kill me now. Apparently, those bizarre sounds was Luke’s interpretation of singing, and as the unsuitably loud song on the radio kicked into its chorus, my brother was in his element. It was shocking how no one in any of the cars that passed stared at him. He was singing as though his life depended on it, after all, and not to mention the way his mouth was open so wide. It looked as though he was trying to catch flies in it.
“Luke!” I snapped at him.
“Yes, sister, dear?”
“Be quiet,” I mumbled as I sank into my seat.
“My car, my rules. If I want to sing, I’ll do exactly that.” He winked at me. “You didn’t have to come with me, you know, Zo. I am capable of buying my own food.”
That was most definitely a lie. The last time my parents and I were in his flat for dinner, Mum ended up having to race home to fetch carrots, potatoes, leeks and another mound of vegetables. In the end, it was basically her cooking the food Luke had ever so kindly told us he’d make. It turned out he thought microwave chips and five bottles of cloudy lemonade was the perfect substitute for vegetables. They went perfectly with cooked dinner, according to him, despite the fact that a lump of chicken and some gravy couldn’t exactly be classed as a cooked dinner anyway.
The only reason I agreed to come with him to buy food was because it was either this, or help Mum sort out some papers for work. I couldn’t even bare to look at the state of the kids’ work my mum taught, let alone sort through it, so I decided that coming with Luke was best. The car spluttered loudly. I was beginning to regret that decision.
“And we’re here! Record timing too.” Luke stopped the car and pulled out his keys, but it took a good ten seconds or so until the engine itself actually shut off.
As we were entering the enormous supermarket, my brother grabbed a trolley from outside the glass doors. Once we were inside, he ruffled his dark hair, paused as though he was thinking, then turned to me.
“Are you going to follow me or go off on your own to look at those magazines about women who marry their cousins and stuff?” he asked as he moved out of the way for a twig-like woman who was entering the shop.
“They’re called real life magazines, Luke.” I rolled my eyes. “And no, I'll come with you. We'll pass them anyway.”
“Oh, okay, good.” Luke checked his watch. "We shouldn't be long."
Luke smiled at me, and we were soon entering the depths of the supermarket. The place was crowded, and I had to literally squeeze passed people to keep up with Luke. No way could I lose him. As annoying as he was, he meant safety. Being in a place like this on my own made my emotions sour. We'd just passed the colourful fruit and vegetable aisle when we reached the magazine stands. I turned around to see Luke concentrated on a pile of sporting magazines, so I too stopped and scanned the racks in hope of seeing something that caught my interest.
Since what happened with Aimee, Luke had been obsessing over the smallest things. I often found him calling me up in the middle of the day, especially if he knew I wasn’t in the house for whatever reason. I suppose it was quite sweet really. At least I knew I was definitely safe with him. He was better than my mum anyway. She was acting as though nothing had happened, almost as if she was blind to reality. I smiled at Luke before concentrating back onto the magazines.
The soft hum of supermarket music rang in my ears along with adults chattering and children whining. It was a bit stuffy in here for my liking, and I found that I was fanning myself with my t-shirt every now and then as I searched the magazine racks. My eyes suddenly paused as I spotted a pile of gardening magazines. I swore I’d seen the same magazine a few racks away.
With concentration hard on my face, I looked to the left until I spotted what I was looking for. A balding man was standing on a cover of a magazine as he held up a collection of what looked like rhubarb. I glanced to my left, then glanced to my right. The people around me didn’t seem to be paying attention to what I was doing. Quickly, I bent down, grabbed the misplaced magazine, and slotted it into where it should have been along with its matching companions. I stood back up. Perfect.
As I turned to look at the women’s magazines, something else caught my attention. Another misplaced magazine. Seriously? Once again, I picked up the magazine, and when I actually looked at the cover properly, I paused. Vogue, Aimee’s favourite. Trust her to have always wanted the most expensive magazine on sale. Before I put it back into its correct place, I held it in my hands for a moment and ran my finger down the smooth cover. I wasn't sure why I did, but it made me smile slightly, so I went ahead and allowed the fresh paper smell of the magazine to enter my nose. I soon plopped the magazine into its correct rack. As more and more wrongly placed magazines came into sight, I began putting them into their proper order. A feeling of warmth seemed to fill me while I did it, so I began humming relaxingly as I sorted everything out. My fingertips almost tingled every time I touched one of the wonderfully new, clean covers. The fresh smell of them was magnificent.
“Wow, I didn’t take you for the kinda girl who reads Men’s Health.”
I spun around and glanced above me. Standing there was a tall boy with short blonde hair. On his face was a smirk that lifted to his eyes, and he had his hands delved into the pockets of his worn out jeans. He began chuckling as I stared at him with wide eyes.
“Oh...” I began stammering. “Austin... hey.”
With Men’s Health magazine still in my hand, I stood up straight. I glanced over to my brother was to find myself in shock. He wasn't there. I looked around. Where was Luke? I turned back to Austin and noticed a slightly amused expression on his face, hinted with confusion. Err, well, I suppose Austin was just as safe as Luke. I neared him a little. Luke was getting some questioning from me when he returned though, that was for sure.
Not to my surprise, I hadn’t seen Austin or Charlie at all since a few nights ago at the club. I’d tried not to think about them much either because, in all honesty, I expected to never see either of them again, so I didn’t want them dragging down my mind. Clutter was something best avoided, whether it be clutter in my bedroom, or clutter in my mind. I knew I hadn't forgotten though, even if I did avoid remembering it.
Despite it being dark when Beth and I met the boys, I could recall their faces so clearly. That smirk Austin always seemed to be wearing, his dirty blonde hair, his almost black eyes. Oh, and Charlie's eyes. I couldn't have forgotten them if I'd tried. I'd heard about people having splashes of other colours in, say, one eye before, but it was almost hypnotising how much of a contrast his eyes were against each other. And those dimples he had... I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I thought back. I felt my cheeks burning. Gosh, I needed to stop being such a... a girl.
As I turned my full attention to Austin, memories entered my head from all directions. Gosh, Charlie. Was he okay after what happened? What about Jax? Had they gotten into trouble? Did they leave when we did? No, they must have been fine, I mean, Austin was here. As my thoughts settled slightly, I came to a brief conclusion. Despite all that went on that night, it was shocking how much I actually enjoyed it.
I’d entered that alleyway with my mind on my sister, but after a while, any real thoughts of her had simply stopped. I didn’t think about her once. When the distraction came in the form of a loud-mouthed idiot named Jax, things got a little much, but at least he got what he deserved at the end of the night. As Beth, Charlie and I were walking back towards the alleyway with Jax, he'd begun whispering things into my ear. Things that made my skin crawl.
For one, he’d planned on taking me home that night.
I shuddered. I didn’t even think Charlie noticed Jax doing that, but every inch of my body wanted to thank Charlie when he scared the wits out of that arrogant pervert. Everything about Jax’s rough voice as he whispered into my ear made me feel sick.
“Hey, Zoey?” Austin snapped my mind back to the present. “You alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” I quickly put the magazine I still had in my hand back to where it belonged, and then turned back to Austin. “Uh, so...”
“So, what brings you here on this fine morning, well, afternoon technically?” He yawned as he sat himself down on a pile of newspapers beside me.
“Just shopping with my brother...” There was an obvious awkwardness in my voice.
Should I have mentioned the club? Asked how everything was? Beth and I had left in such a hurry that night, it felt as though we never really said goodbye or anything. Austin yawned again as he scratched his arm. He didn’t seem at all uncomfortable right now, and I almost envied how he could just sit down, relax and tilt his head as he read the headlines of the newspapers he was sitting on. He looked back up and watched me with dark eyes as I smiled awkwardly in return.
"Ah, cool. Fancy seeing you here. Weird coincidence, eh?" He smiled to show a set of clean, but partially crooked teeth.
“It was either come here with my brother, or help my mum with work.” I tried striking up some decent conversation.
"What does she do? Your mum?" he asked. "It can't be that bad. Better than being here."
“She’s a homeschool teacher. She mostly teaches music, but I have no idea how it all works, so I never have a clue what to do when she asks me to help her.” That sounded normal, right? "So I picked shopping."
I glanced behind Austin in hope of spotting Luke, but I saw nothing. Hadn't he noticed I wasn't with him? Once I’d finished speaking, I noticed Austin's eyebrows rise. He remained silent, but there was a glimmer in his eyes as he started tapping his leg. It wasn’t long until a grin spread across his face.
“How old are the kids she teaches?” he asked as he crossed his arms.
“Um, any age really. Normally about fourteen to eighteen. She helps out with GCSEs and A-Levels... Why?”
“Great!” He stood up as his face lit up. “Charlie wants to do A-Level music, but he quit school ‘cause our school is basically crap. Can your mum teach him?”
“Um, I don’t know. I’m not sure if she teaches during summer, unless you mean for aft--”
“Zoey?” Luke. About blooming time. “Zoey!”
Before long, my brother was parading towards me with a trolley full of food. Ready meals were spilling over its edges, and squished against the metal at the bottom were what seemed to be now mashed potatoes. It was hell just to look at. Everything was ordered horribly. The soft items weren’t supposed to be placed at the bottom of the cart, not at all. I almost cringed as he came towards me. Luke’s eyes locked onto Austin as he came to a stop beside us.
“Who’s that? Do you know him? Why are you speaking to him?” He glanced at me before returning to Austin. “Who are you?”
My brother’s words were blunt and far from polite. Well, excuse me, but who was the one that just ditched me in the middle of an enormous supermarket? If it wasn't for Austin, I'd be tripping around the place, feeling the size of a mouse. Besides, what did he think Austin was going to do, honestly?
My cheeks warmed up at an alarming speed and I just knew they must have been bright red. My brother questioned me again, and considering his voice was louder than before, a few people glanced at us before returning to their business. Austin obviously noticed the anything but friendly tone in Luke’s voice--it would was impossible not to notice--but nonetheless, he answered with a fair amount of courtesy.
“Austin McCormack.” He held out his hand for my brother. “I met Zoey the other day.”
Instead of shaking Austin’s hand, Luke continued his interrogation. “A few days ago? How did you meet?” He turned to me. “Zoey, you didn’t tell me you’d been out with a boy.”
“Luke!” I hissed at him. “He was just there when I stayed over Beth’s the other day, that’s all. Besides, you're the one that wandered off just now! It's a good thing Austin is here.”
I missed the days when Luke didn’t question every living thing I spoke to. I swore if I started speaking to a tree, he’d begin questioning it. It was times like this his protectiveness irritated me a little. There was nothing but silence in the air as Austin dropped his arm to his side while my brother continued scanning him with his narrowed eyes. The stuffiness in the room seemed to have increased at a shockingly quick speed, and as I watched the scene unfold in front of me, my clothes began sticking to my skin, which played hell with my comfort. By now, both boys were glancing at each other, but as they noticed the other one’s eyes on them, they would turn away. Great. Luke had probably scared Austin half to death now.
"Sorry... I assumed you were following me, Zo. I didnt' really think to turn around and check until, uh, a minute ago," Luke muttered. He turned to Austin. "Thanks, I guess." This time, his voice had a tint of friendliness in it.
“He was just asking about Mum actually,” I said in an attempt to put everything at ease. I fanned myself with my t-shirt. “Uh, is she accepting new students for her homeschooling?”
“Oh... Yeah, I think a few kids are coming to see her about that today actually. Are you interested?” Luke turned to Austin.
“It’s for my mate actually,” Austin answered.
“Oh, okay. Well, if he’s interested, he’d have to come over today...” Luke began nodding to himself. “Today’s the last day my mum’s speaking to people about homeschooling before summer’s over. I don’t think she'd mind him turning up though. Some kids have probably cancelled anyway.”
There was still a clear wariness in Luke's voice as he spoke to Austin, but now that the conversation had turned to schooling, my brother seemed far less aggressive than before. Maybe he'd realised that Austin wasn’t planning on attacking me because both Luke's facial expression and his voice had softened. Although, he was still watching Austin’s every move, especially as he began scanning the contents of Luke’s trolley.
“Awesome.” Austin brought his phone out. “I’ll call him now.”
“Come on then, Zoey,” Luke said as Austin began dialling on his rather worse for wear phone. “We better get this stuff to the car.” He tapped his trolley.
“Are you done?” I widened my eyes. “Already?”
“Yeah, there was practically no one queuing at the tills. Besides, I just threw everything in. No need for things to be put in any specific order, eh?” Luke shrugged, but as he realised what he was saying and who he was saying it to, he burst into laughter. “Sorry...” He shook his head with a smile still intact. “Come on then.” He nodded towards the entrance.
I turned to Austin to see him pulling an impatient expression on his face. He was dialling again. I assumed Charlie wasn’t answering. I’d only mentioned the tutoring to Austin as a conversation filler, and besides, would Charlie really want to be tutored by Mum? On the other hand, it would have been nice to see him again. I never really thanked him for, well, anything. After all, I did knock him unconscious for a brief while and he seemed to be entirely cool with it, plus he gave me his jacket when I was cold, not to mention getting rid of Jax.
“Can I just find out if Charlie’s going to see Mum before we leave?” I turned to Luke.
“Who?” Luke Paused. “Oh, the boy your... friend’s calling?” I nodded. “Okay, fine, but if my Mr. Snowy ice cream defrosts, you’re being held responsible.” He was muttering, but the content of his sentence disallowed me to take him seriously at all.
“Fricking hell, Charlie, you don’t half take your time to answer your phone.” Austin started laughing, which caused my brother and I to turn to him.
Austin sat down on the newspapers again while he continued chuckling. I could hear Charlie’s voice on the other end of the phone--I assumed it was Charlie anyway--but it was a struggle to make out anything that was being said. There was another noise though, something in the background that was making it even harder to understand what he was saying. Another voice, I think. A loud voice, that was for sure.
“It’s important, I swear!” Austin said rather loudly. “Oh, hang on.” He covered the bottom of his phone with his hand before turning to me. “Hey, what’s your address? I’ll tell Charlie to go there.”
I gave Austin the information he wanted, and he was soon feeding that information to Charlie. It sounded as though Austin wasn’t actually telling him what to go to my house for, or even that it was my house, for some reason. Luke sighed beside me.
“It’s almost two o’ clock. Tell your friend to hurry up,” he whispered into my ear. He glanced at Austin. “Zoey, he seems a bit... rough. How did you meet him again?”
“Uh, he’s Beth’s new neighbour. We met him when, uh, when I slept over her house a few days ago. You know, just slept and stuff. We were going to go out, but Beth’s mum couldn’t drive us anywhere.” That’s not suspicious at all, Zoey. “Don’t worry, Austin’s a good guy.”
I was a terrible liar, but the story seemed convincing enough. It was for Luke anyway. Her nodded slowly before turning back to Austin. He was soon sighing again when Austin started laughing down the phone.
“Just come! It’s a surprise.” He was edging on begging now.
There was a long pause, then a sigh from the other end of the phone. I heard a mumble and a muffled, “fine."
“Good boy!” Austin grinned. “Thanks, babes.” He chuckled before hanging up.
“What did he just call him?” Luke spoke into my ear with incredible haste.
I didn’t answer him. I was too busy trying not to laugh. My brother’s face was a picture of confusion mixed with a sprinkling of horror as he watched Austin stand back up. I couldn’t help but allow a smile to remain on my face as the realisation of what was about to happen sunk in.
Every part of my common sense was screaming at me for wanting to see Charlie again because everything about him was the opposite of what I knew was safe. That was it though: I was beginning to wonder if that was why I was so intrigued by him. I mean, I’d actually cleaned his face, touched blood because of him, and thinking back to it seemed unreal. I would never normally do that, and even thinking back to it sent a chill down my spine. I couldn't just ignore that. Besides, it would be so nice to see Charlie again, just to thank him, of course. Not that literally seeing him would hurt too much either.



Click here to read STOP AND STARE (PART ELEVEN)

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Skins wrote:Zoey

Please, stop... I thought as the car revved along the motorway. Bizarre sounds came from the right of me as Luke continued drumming the steering wheel. Just kill me now. Apparently, those bizarre sounds was Luke’s interpretation of singing, and as the unsuitably loud song on the radio kicked into its chorus, my brother was in his element. It was shocking how no one in any of the cars that passed stared at him. He was singing as though his life depended on it, after all, not to mention the way his mouth was open so wide, it looked as though he was trying to catch flies in it.
“Luke!” I snapped at him.
“Yes, sister, dearYou don't need so many commas here.?”
“Be quiet,” I mumbled as I sank into my seat.
“My car, my rules. If I want to sing, I’ll do exactly that.” He winked at me. “You didn’t have to come with me, you know, Zo. I am capable of buying my own food.”
That was most definitely a lie. The last time my parents and I were in his flat for dinner, Mum ended up having to race home to fetch carrots, potatoes, leeks and another mound of vegetables. In the end, it was basically her cooking the food Luke had ever so kindly told us he’d make. It turned out he thought microwave chips and five bottles of cloudy lemonade was the perfect substitute for vegetables. They went perfectly with cooked dinner, according to him, despite the fact that a lump of chicken and some gravy couldn’t exactly be classed as a cooked dinner anyway.
The only reason I agreed to come with him to buy food was because it was either this, or help Mum sort out some papers for work. I couldn’t even bare to look at the state of the kids’ work my mum taught, let alone sort through it, so I decided that coming with Luke was best. The car spluttered loudly. I was beginning to regret that decision.
“And we’re here! Record timing too.” Luke stopped the car and pulled out his keys, but it took a good ten seconds or so until the engine itself actually shut off.
As we were entering the enormous supermarket, my brother grabbed a trolley from outside the glass doors. Once we were inside, he ruffled his dark hair, paused as though he was thinking, then turned to me.
“Are you going to follow me or go off on your own to look at those magazines about women who marry their cousins and stuff?” he asked as he moved out of the way for a twig-like woman who was entering the shop.
“They’re called real life magazines, Luke.” I rolled my eyes. “And yes, I’m going to take a look at them, I think.”
“Oh, okay.” Luke checked his watch. “Ring me at about one, so I know you’re alright. Uh, are you sure you want to stay on your own?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
Luke smiled at me, and he was soon entering the depths of the supermarket. I watched him as he pushed his trolley towards the multicolouredmulticolored aisles. As he neared the fruit and veg aisle, he kept on glancing behind him to look at me. I’d smile at him, he’d turn away, but then he’d turn back to me with a look on his face that appeared to say, oh, gosh, she’s looking at me, as though it was entirely unexpected. Thankfully though, it wasn’t long until my brother was swallowed up by the delights of the fruit and vegyou may want to say vegetable aisle.
Once he’d gone, I began heading over to the right side of the entrance where the magazine stand was. Since what happened with Aimee, Luke had been obsessing over the smallest things. I often found him calling me up in the middle of the day, especially if he knew I wasn’t in the house for whatever reason. I suppose it was quite sweet really, but on this occasion, it was just embarrassing. I mean, he was worried about me being on my own when I was technically in the same room as him.
A display of bright colours stood before me as I scanned the racks in hope of seeing something that caught my interest. The soft hum of supermarket music rang in my ears along with adults chattering and children whining. It was a bit stuffy in here for my liking, and I found that I was fanning myself with my t-shirt every now and then as I searched the magazine racks. My eyes suddenly paused as I spotted a pile of gardening magazines. I swore I’d seen the same magazine a few racks away.
With concentration hard on my face, I looked to the left until I spotted what I was looking for. A balding man was standing on a cover of a magazine as he held up a collection of what looked like rhubarb. I glanced to my left, then glanced to my right. The people around me didn’t seem to be paying attention to what I was doing. Quickly, I bent down, grabbed the misplaced magazine, and slotted it into where it should have been along with its matching companions. I stood back up. Perfect.
As I turned to look at the women’s magazines, something else caught my attention. Another misplaced magazine. Seriously? Once again, I picked up the magazine, and when I actually looked at the cover properly, I paused. Vogue, Aimee’s favouritefavorite. Trust her to have always wanted the most expensive magazine on sale. Before I put it back into its correct place, I held it in my hands for a moment and ran my finger down the smooth cover. I wasn't not sure why I did, but it made me smile slightly, so I went ahead and allowed the fresh paper smell of the magazine to enter my nose I soon plopped the magazine into its correct rack. As more and more wrongly placed magazines came into sight, I began putting them into their proper order. A feeling of warmth seemed to fill me while I did it, so I began humming relaxingly as I sorted everything out. My fingertips almost tingled every time I touched one of the wonderfully new, clean covers. The fresh smell of them was magnificent.
“Wow, I didn’t take you for the kindakind of would be propper english girl who reads Men’s Health.”
I spun around and glanced above me. Standing there was a tall boy with short blonde hair. On his face was a smirk that lifted to his eyes, and he had his hands delved into the pockets of his worn out jeans. He began chuckling as I stared at him with wide eyes.
“Oh...” I began stammering. “Austin... hey.”
With Men’s Health magazine still in my hand, I stood up straight. Not to my surprise, I hadn’t seen Austin or Charlie at all since a few nights ago at the club. I’d tried not to think about them much either because, in all honesty, I expected to never see either of them again, so I didn’t want them dragging down my mind. Clutter was something best avoided, whether it be clutter in my bedroom, or clutter in my mind. I knew I hadn't forgotten though, even if I did avoid remembering it.
Despite it being dark when Beth and I met the boys, I could recall their faces so clearly. That smirk Austin always seemed to be wearing, his dirty blonde hair,and his his almost black eyes. Oh, and Charlie's eyes. I couldn't have forgotten them if I'd tried. I'd heard about people having splashes of other colours in, say, one eye before, but it was almost hypnotisinghypnotizing how much of a contrast his eyes were against each other. And those dimples he had... I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I thought back. I felt my cheeks burning. Gosh, I needed to stop being such a... a girl.
As I turned my full attention to Austin, memories entered my head from all directions. Gosh, Charlie. Was he okay after what happened? What about Jax? Had they gotten into trouble? Did they leave when we did? No, they must have been fine, I mean, Austin was here. As my thoughts settled slightly, I came to a brief conclusion. Despite all that went on that night, it was shocking how much I actually enjoyed it.
I’d entered that alleyway with my mind on my sister, but after a while, any real thoughts of her simply stopped. I didn’t think about her once. When the distraction came in the form of a loud-mouthed idiot named Jax, things got a little much, but at least he got what he deserved at the end of the night. As Beth, Charlie and I were walking back towards the alleyway with Jax, he began whispering things into my ear. Things that made my skin crawl.
For one, he’d planned on taking me home that night.
I shuddered. I didn’t even think Charlie noticed Jax doing that, but every inch of my body wanted to thank Charlie when he scared the wits out of that arrogant boy. Everything about Jax’s rough voice as he whispered into my ear made me feel sick.
“Hey, Zoey?” Austin snapped my mind back to the present. “You alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” I quickly put the magazine I still had in my hand back to where it belonged, and then turned back to Austin. “Uh, so...”
“So, what brings you here on this fine morning, well, afternoon technically?” He yawned as he sat himself down on a pile of newspapers beside me.
“Just shopping with my brother...” There was an obvious awkwardness in my voice.
Should I have mentioned the club? Asked how everything was? Beth and I had left in such a hurry that night, it felt as though we never really said goodbye or anything. Austin yawned again as he scratched his arm. He didn’t seem at all uncomfortable right now, and I almost envied how he could just sit down, relax and tilt his head as he read the headlines of the newspapers he was sitting on. He looked back up and watched me with dark eyes as I smiled awkwardly in return.
“It was either this, or helping my mum with work.” I tried striking up some decent conversation, but before I knew it, I was blabbering uncontrollably. “She’s a homeschoolhome school teacher, you see, and she’s got loads of work to mark and sort out over summer. She mostly teaches music though, so it’s kind of weird that she’s got so much work. I mean, how much writing can music need, eh?”
That only increased the anxious feeling at the pit of my stomach. I hardly understood a word I said then, so I had no idea how Austin was supposed to understand me. Once I’d finished, I noticed his eyebrows rise. He remained silent, but there was a glimmer in his eyes as he started tapping his leg. It wasn’t long until a grin spread across his face.
“How old are the kids she teaches?” he asked as he crossed his arms.
“Um, any age really. Normally about fourteen to eighteen. She helps out with GCSEs and A-Levels... Why?”
“Great!” He stood up as his face lit up. “Charlie wants to do A-Level music, but he quit school ‘cause our school is basically crap. Can your mum teach him?”
“Um, I don’t know. I’m not sure if she teaches during summer, unless you mean for aft--”
“Zoey?” Luke. I sighed. “Zoey!”
Before long, my brother was parading towards me with a trolley full of food. Ready meals were spilling over its edges, and squished against the metal at the bottom were what seemed to be now mashed potatoes. It was hell just to look at. Everything was ordered horribly. The soft items weren’t supposed to be placed at the bottom of the cart, not at all. I almost cringed as he came towards me. Luke’s eyes locked onto Austin as he came to a stop beside us.
“Who’s that? Do you know him? Why are you speaking to him?” He glanced at me before returning to Austin. “Who are you?”
My brother’s words were blunt and far from polite. Why did Luke do this to me? What did he think Austin was going to do, honestly? My cheeks warmed up at an alarming speed and I just knew they must have been bright red. My brother questioned me again, and considering his voice was louder than before, a few people glanced at us before returning to their business. Austin obviously noticed the anything but friendly tone in Luke’s voice--it would was impossible not to notice--but nonetheless, he answered with a fair amount of courtesy.
“Austin McCormack.” He held out his hand for my brother. “I met Zoey the other day.”
Instead of shaking Austin’s hand, Luke continued his interrogation. “A few days ago? How did you meet?” He turned to me. “Zoey, you didn’t tell me you’d been out with a boy.”
“Luke!” I hissed at him. “He was just there when I stayed over Beth’s the other day, that’s all.”
I missed the days when Luke didn’t question every living thing I spoke to. I swore if I started speaking to a tree, he’d begin questioning it. There was nothing but silence in the air as Austin dropped his arm to his side while my brother continued scanning him with his narrowed eyes. The stuffiness in the room seemed to have increased at a shockingly quick speed, and as I watched the scene unfold in front of me, my clothes began sticking to my skin, which played hell with my comfort. By now, both boys were glancing at each other, but as they noticed the other one’s eyes on them, they would turn away. Great. Luke had probably scared Austin half to death now.
“He was just asking about Mum actually,” I said in an attempt to put everything at ease. I fanned myself with my t-shirt. “Uh, is she accepting new students for her homeschooling?”
“Oh... Yeah, I think a few kids are coming to see her about that today actually. Are you interested?” Luke turned to Austin, and this time, his voice was far warmer.
“It’s for my mate actually,” Austin answered.
“Oh, okay. Well, if he’s interested, he’d have to come over today...” Luke began nodding to himself. “Today’s the last day my mum’s speaking to people about homeschooling before summer’s over. I don’t think she'd mind him turning up though. Some kids have probably cancelled anyway.”
Now that the conversation had turned to schooling, Luke seemed far less aggressive towards Austin. My brother seemed to have realisedrealized Austin wasn’t planning on attacking me because both his facial expression and his voice had softened. Although, he was still watching Austin’s every move, especially as he began scanning the contents of Luke’s trolley.
“Awesome.” Austin brought his phone out. “I’ll call him now.”
“Come on then, Zoey,” Luke said as Austin began diallingdialing on his rather worse for wear phone. “We better get this stuff to the car.” He tapped his trolley.
“Are you done?” I widened my eyes. “Already?”“Yeah, there was practically no one queuing at the tills. Besides, I just threw everything in. No need for things to be put in any specific order, eh?” Luke shrugged, but as he realisedrealized what he was saying and who he was saying it to, he burst into laughter. “Sorry...” He shook his head with a smile still intact. “Come on then.” He nodded towards the entrance.
I turned to Austin to see him pulling an impatient expression on his face. He was diallingdialing again. I guess Charlie wasn’t answering. I’d only mentioned the tutoring to Austin as a conversation filler, and besides, would Charlie really want to be tutored by Mum? On the other hand, it would have been nice to see him again. I never really thanked him for, well, anything. After all, I did knock him unconscious for a brief while and he seemed to be entirely cool with it, plus he gave me his jacket when I was cold, not to mention getting rid of Jax.
“Can I just find out if Charlie’s going to see Mum before we leave?” I turned to Luke.
“Who?” Luke Paused. “Oh, the boy your... friend’s calling?” I nodded. “Okay, fine, but if my Mr. Snowy ice cream defrosts, you’re being held responsible.” He was muttering, but the content of his sentence disallowed me to take him seriously at all.
“Fricking hell, Charlie, you don’t half take your time to answer your phone.” Austin started laughing, which caused my brother and I to turn to him.
Austin sat down on the newspapers again while he continued chuckling. I could hear Charlie’s voice on the other end of the phone, but it was a struggle to make out what was being said exactly. There was another noise though, something in the background that was making it even harder to understand what he was saying. Another voice, I think. A loud voice, that was for sure.
“It’s important, I swear!” Austin said rather loudly. “Oh, hang on.” He covered the bottom of his phone with his hand before turning to me. “Hey, what’s your address? I’ll tell Charlie to go there.”
I gave Austin the information he wanted, and he was soon feeding that information to Charlie. It sounded as though Austin wasn’t actually telling him what to go to my house for, or even that it was my house, for some reason. Luke sighed beside me.
“It’s almost two o’ clock. Tell your friend to hurry up,” he whispered into my ear. He glanced at Austin. “Zoey, he seems a bit... rough. How did you meet him again?”
“Uh, he’s Beth’s new neighbourneighbor. We met him when, uh, when I slept over her house a few days ago. You know, just slept and stuff. We were going to go out, but Beth’s mum couldn’t drive us anywhere.” That’s not suspicious at all, Zoey. “Don’t worry, Austin’s a good guy.”
I was a terrible liar, but the story seemed convincing enough. It was for Luke anyway. Her nodded slowly before turning back to Austin. He was soon sighing again when Austin started laughing down the phone.
“Just come! It’s a surprise.” He was edging on begging now.
There was a long pause, then a sigh from the other end of the phone. “Fine,” Charlie mumbled. “If this is some dodgy game of yours though, Aust, you are dead.”
“Good boy!” Austin grinned. “Thanks, babes.” He chuckled before hanging up.
“What did he just call him?” Luke spoke into my ear with incredible haste.
I didn’t answer him. I was too busy trying not to laugh. My brother’s face was a picture of confusion mixed with a sprinkling of horror as he watched Austin stand back up. I couldn’t help but allow a smile to remain on my face as the realisationrealization of what was about to happen sunk in.
Every part of my common sense was screaming at me for wanting to see Charlie again because everything about him was the opposite of what I knew was safe. That was it though: I was beginning to wonder if that was why I was so intrigued by him. I mean, I’d actually cleaned his face, touched blood because of him, and thinking back to it seems unreal. I would never normally do that, and even thinking back to it sent a chill down my spine. I couldn't just ignore that. Besides, it would be so nice to see Charlie again, just to thank him, of course. Not that literally seeing him would hurt too much either.

Hey Skinsy!

The Master of Typos is here

I read this a couple of days ago but didn't have time to review - not that you'd have noticed, with you being on holiday and all - but I'm here now to give this piece a good old review

So.... As always,I enjoyed reading this. I liked that you introduced us to Zoey's brother, Luke, and that he seemed to be just as I'd imagined - overprotective yet annoying, like all older brothers should be. I also really liked that you had Austin in this scene without Charlie. It gave the reader a chance to see how Zoey interacted with Austin, without her thoughts straying to Charlie every other second. He seemed even more 3D here, with the little touches of him sitting on the newspapers and insulting Charlie on the phone.

I was glad to see that you carried on Zoey's little quirks into this scene - with her reordering the magazines. It helped to cement the fact that she's got a little bit of OCD, into her character.

So, onto the things I caught while reading -

He was singing as though his life depended on it, after all, not to mention the way his mouth was open so wide, it looked as though he was trying to catch flies in it.

I had to re-read this a couple of times to get what you were trying to say. I'd suggest either changing the comma after 'all' to 'and' or changing it to a full stop and having two seperate sentences.

“Are you going to follow me or go off on your own to look at those magazines about women who marry their cousins and stuff?”

LOL My mum reads those kind of mags.

I wasn't not sure why

Nix 'not'

magazine to enter my nose I soon plopped

Full stop after 'nose'

any real thoughts of her simply stopped

You need 'had' after 'her' to make it past tense.

he began whispering

'he'd begun'

feeling at the pit of my stomach

'at' would be better as 'in'

I guess Charlie wasn’t answering

'guessed'

back to it seems unreal.

'seemed'

***

Post more SOON or I might cry

Seriously though, I'm really getting into this story now and I really want to know what happens next.

I hope this helps!

xDudettex

Geez. I need to come on here more often. I didn't even know this was posted!

Thanks for letting me know, Skinsy.

Okay, well. First, I was confused. Zoey in the car with her brother? Wait, what? How? I went back and read the last chapter to see if I'd missed anything, then I realised it had just skipped a couple of days. Huh. Ok. Makes sense when you're reading the story in one sitting, not when a few weeks have passed lol

Well, kudos on not writing a spoiler. Proud of you, girl!

Cool for Charlie coming over, makes much sense with the homeschooling. I wonder: did you plan for him to notice Aimee's pictures right away and know he was going there, or him not notice at first? Did your thought process make it that far yet?

I loved the scene with the magazines. Ah, Zoey. So true to herself. I enjoyed her explanation about why she wanted to see Charlie although I have to wonder why suddenly, she's alright with this sudden change in herself.

And that was it! Thanks for the chapter and for letting me know it was out.

Much loff,

Me and Skinsy junior <3

Hi! I'm finally here. Believe it or not, this has been on my reading list since you first posted it. >.<

So. First off, I'm actually liking this. It's definitely not my type of novel, and some things about the genre of it kind of annoy me, but that's me not you. The part that's you is the actual writing of it, and I love that. I know you've been told this before, but your character-writing is very good--it makes the whole thing worth reading, in my opinion. If it weren't for the interesting characters, and if they weren't so well portrayed, there would be almost nothing to this.

As far as this chapter goes, I think you did pretty well with it. The pacing is good and everything seemed pretty well-spaced and believable and all that. I love the part where she's sorting the magazines! You did a great job of really getting her lost in what she was doing. I got a little lost too! Nice job.

I'm actually not sure there's going to be many negative things in this review.

I don't really like Luke's protectiveness. No, that's a lie. I like it a lot. I don't really like Zoey's response to it. I may be wrong, but she seems like the kind of person who would really appreciate being guarded by someone--it would make her feel safe. She seems like she wouldn't want to leave his side. That's probably just me, and my misunderstanding of her character... but if you look back on chapter whateverthatwas, where Zoey's just gotten lost and she's in the car with Luke, she seems like she would never let him out of her sight ever again. What if she plans on tagging along with him, then gets distracted by the magazines out of place and trails off? Then she can be annoyed when he's suspicious of Austin because she likes Austin and she feels comfortable with him. Meh, just a suggestion.

Well, one thing I didn't like was the rather sudden changes of emotion. First, there's Zoey's. She's sorting magazines all happy-like and in her own little world, then she sees Austin and she's surprised (that change of emotion is fine) but then she gets all flustered and starts spewing stuff about her mother. I know she gets flustered easily, but I'd like to see a bit more of a reason behind that there flusterage. Then, there's Luke. His sudden change of emotion from being suspicious about Austin to being friendly about his mother was a little too sudden, if you ask me. Let it happen a little slower maybe.

Also, the dialogue is a little bothersome. Most of it is okay, but whenever they start talking about the mother and the teaching it gets a little staged-sounding. I'm not sure what you can do about this, but I thought I'd let you know.

Then there's the part with the cell phone. Would she really be able to hear Charlie from the other end? That seems really unrealistic to me. Maybe she'd be able to hear voices. Maybe. But they're in a supermarket (not exactly the quietest place on Earth) and he's on the other end of a cell phone! I really don't think she'd be able to hear anything he said.

Oh, and on a technical note, I'm not going to do nit-picks but watch out for repetition. There are a few paragraphs where you say the same word a bunch of times over. Just try and avoid that, mkay?

Okeydoke, I gotta go. I need to be on stage in a few hours. =.= I hope this helps!

a

Hey Skins. Faithful dog Shrubs here to review.

Spoiler

Apparently, those bizarre sounds was Luke%u2019s interpretation of singing, and as the unsuitably loud song on the radio kicked into its chorus, my brother was in his element.

Sounds is plural, as you know, and having 'was' with it is not correct. So you could squeeze in 'was the result of..' What do you say?

As the car spluttered loudly, I was beginning to regret that decision.

The first sentence seems to have come out of the blue, so I'd say that you should join the two sentences as I have marked.

I didn’t even think Charlie noticed Jax doing that, but every inch of my body wanted to thank Charlie when he scared the wits out of that arrogant boy.

Something else than just 'arrogant boy'? Maybe pervert or some other swear word? How 'bout them, heh?

First thing I'd say about the whole chapter is that somewhere I found it was a bit...out of flow. A moment she would be talking about something, and then the other moment we'd have something entirely different. It's nothing of a 'giant' problem, but it was just a feeling that slipped across me. I could tell that was the case since my first version of Turning the Tables was out of flow, so after I read it, I could literally feel ashamed of writing it. One moment I was talking of one thing, and the other time I was out at another thing. Maybe I'm just fussing with your piece, but having a look at it might not be a bad idea. It's all the more important since this is the first time I've found a mistake like this in your piece. Maybe it's just me, you know.

I liked how you brought the topic of 'Aimee' into the chapter, and this made me realize again that something had gone wrong in Zoey's life. Yeah, I mean all this while she had seemed perfectly normal, and I couldn't feel her pain. Now you brought the mention of Aimee here and there, but still not to the extent the story demands. The reason? The MCs are connected to each other through Aimee's death and to completely shun her topic or to maybe put it aside for some time is not good. As I have said earlier also and you even agreed to it, we need more of Zoey's pain here. You said you'd include a chapter of the sort and I just wanted to suggest that you make it a funeral scene or something afterwards. It's just an idea and guessing by the range of ideas you've got stocked up in your mind, you'd sure think of something better. Coming to the topic again, I wanted to say that you brought the Vogue magazine's idea here and did say that it was Aimee's favourite, but I think you should have maybe added in a bit more by saying how much she missed her, or how the thought of Aimee brought a lump to her throat, or something like that.

It was interesting to see how you didn't forget Luke and did bring him back into the story. Also, as Zoey herself said, it was kind of stuffily sweet that how his brother guarded her every move since the accident. It made him stand out of some brothers there are who are really selfish and care a hell about their siblings. But on the other thoughts, I wanted to ask something about his character. Rather mention it. With Luke's father a principal, his mother a music teacher, the boy is really from an academic background, so why doesn't he study or has a decent job? Wouldn't his parents have pestered him into studying in a college since he seems young and why does he work at a departmental store? Is it part time and he does it to pay for his expenses or a part of his fees? Or is he collecting money for some good education? That's what I had in my mind. I would like to have a reason of why he isn't doing something else with his career when he has a good educated family, and whiling away his time at some departmental store(no offence!)

I totally liked this chapter, and if it wasn't the best, it was still good. You have quite important things in this chapter and I did like reading it. At first, when I saw this novel put in General Fiction category I never thought it might turn out something romantic. I guess romance isn't the basic theme, but it's more or less along those lines. Anyway, whatever be the genre, you rock at it. Seriously! I didn't find much wrong here, but I'd tell you or mention some things now, which I've already spoken about and you had told me you'd be working on it and it was just chapter-4, so you weren't much through with the story. You could have a note of them so you don't forget about them when you write more:
1. Charlie's dad and brother. You said they would come, and I believe you, but in some previous parts maybe you could add some thoughts about them. That would be better than waiting for an entire chapter dedicated to them. It might seem real to have people from his life running around in Charlie's life.
2. Even Zoey's parents need to be given some more space. Just like I said above, I'd say that you might not necessarily bring them in the story till here, but have some mention of them. How things have changed for them since their daughter passed away. I bet that's not something of a small issue, right?
3.More of Aimee. The kind of girl she was, how it was different being with her, and all that stuff. If you plan on adding the chapter you said you would, then maybe you would add these things there, but still you need her to be off and on in the entire novel.

I don't have much to say, and I believe that I've repeated myself from some previous reviews of mine, and I am terribly sorry for that.

Keep Writing,
Shrubs