Tales of a world unknown

Prologue
Stories are great ways of passing on beliefs, feelings knowledge and wisdom. Stories give people hope in times of need and inspire great deeds out of people. Bards and folks men create Ballads, poems, and stories about epics battles, great events and amazing heroes. The most beautiful aspect about stories is that you can never tell how it ends until the end.

The handsome young man hurriedly ran through the corridors, his feet only lightly touching the floor. He was yelling to himself “Damn my first meeting and I'm already late. This is not good.” At last he saw the doorway, without breaking pace he swung the door open and stepped inside. He was met with steely looks and spine shivering glares, the were disappointed. Silently while keeping his head down he trotted to his place and sat down. The room was dark and scarcely lit, with a few cluttering chairs these people had decided to make their council room in. The room was already clouded with smoke from someone's pipe. The seven people gathered were deep in thought, not a word had been spoken, when suddenly the very same young and handsome man spoke up.
He said, “Why not imprison them in a member of the royal family?”

The Grey bearded man in the corner sat forward and growled saying, “Ignorant child! Do you know what power that would give the family, it would be careless and very unwise. Don't be unwise it'll be your downfall and a disgrace to the seven.”
A raven haired women in the corner then spoke up and said, “He is right not only would that give the family great power it would very easy for our enemies to assassinate a member of the royal family. We have already seen this in these last few hundred years somehow our man is always caught.”

A few similar arguments broke out after this with very fruitless results. The people needed the answer now; a conclusion had to be realized. They were losing hope when suddenly a battle scarred man spoke up, all the arguments around him ceased, he had been silent throughout the council.
“I have listened to all your suggestions and have heard all of your reasoning,” he said, “I have now reached a decision; they will be imprisoned in the mind of a neutral party not from this world ensuring that those two will never be free again until the jailer dies or they are released by us.”
A blonde haired lady asked, “But who, who would willingly take them without making it known to our enemies?”
“Our lost bothers.”

This is very good and the descriptions are very vivid which paints a very complete picture in my head. Good luck and I hope you get many helpful reviews. Keep up the good works and hope you update soon so I may review more!!! I'll keep watch for more of your works!!! Happy Writing!!!!
Soulkana<3

Hi there, Toly!

I am very much intrigued by your idea here (though it is late on a Friday and my mental state has been compromised by a week of minimum sleep, although it now also stands to reason that the ability of this to capture my now scattered attention is quite remarkable. A quandary.). Mostly, I'm wondering what or whom this council is trying to imprison...imprison inside the minds of people. Stories? Songs? We don't find out here, and I'd like to...even though the writer in me says you're probably right to withhold that information. Within reason.

Like Soulkana, I like your descriptions (though I'm obligated to point out that 'raven hair' is a description giggled at in the writing community at large, and it might be in your best interest to change it to the inconspicuous 'black') and your characters have the fledgling signs of intrigue about them. In a piece as short as this, that's not a small feat.

My main comment is that the pace in this is much too fast. I think you can and should slow this down some, spread it out, but some more detail in, possibly explain what it is this thing to be imprisoned is, have some fun with the characters. There's no reason not to slow it down that I can see. As it is, it's rushed and leaves be unsatisfied, as if someone has played a good song on a higher speed and turned the singer into a chipmunk. Not cool.

Another thing is that I'm very much confused as to how the first paragraph relates to the rest. Really, as far as I know, you can take it out with no harm done. Readers already know the power of stories and what makes them awesome. That's why they're reading your story, after all. So don't make them wait for it, and just start with the guy late to his first council meeting. That in itself is much more intriguing than a blurb about stories, however true, no offense intended.

On the nitpicky end...

seized

I think you meant 'ceased' there. 'Seized' would be horrible.

And, that's it. Not too painful, eh? Let me know if you have any questions. I'm usually about.

Rach

Hey thanks for all the reviews guys.

I have actually been working on this quite a bit, it was one of my first novels that I ever started writing. kind of forgot about it over the years, as more ideas came streaming in, but recently I saw this hiding in the corner, and thought let me post it and see what people think.

Hehe. So now I've really started writing quite a bit in here, got the first two chapters down, just I haven't had much time to proof read them due to school once i'm done I'll start writing and posting more often. Thanks for pointing out the "seized" lol
It completely slipped my mind, when I saw it I was like 'WHOA! I'm such an ass."

I think because I wrote this when i was younger, i never have much control back then over the pace and length of my writing, now though, I do. So I've really thought about what you've said and have come-up with a few bits and pieces to help fill in the gaps yet intrigue the reader even more. The hardest part is actually writing it. hehe

Oh and about the first paragraph, I have an idea for this book, if you've read Neil Gaiman's 'Ananasi Boys' you'll understand what I'm trying to do. Basically it's a way of taking the reader slightly of the main story for a bit of humor, but at the same time keeping it all related. I wanted this story to be one of those stories where you don't just read the writers words, but rather you feel them telling it to you.

Hope I can live up to that. Pray for me love ToLy