Fairytale (Us And Them)

“And they lived happily ever after.”
Isn’t that how every fairytale is
Supposed to end?

But it’s true.
They did live happily ever after.
I watched them.
I watched him take her hand.

My hands are still empty,
And I think about the time that I
Had myself convinced that
Happily ever after was possible for me.

Because in my mind,
He was it.

But now our story is over.
There is no more “us.”
But there doesn’t need to be.
There is “them” and there is “me.”

And as much as I don’t believe in
Fairytales anymore, I think
That maybe my own ending is out there.

Who knows if it’s happy or sad
Or completely absurd?
It’s my ending,
And that’s all I need.

Hello mollycarraway!

So, I rather liked your poem. The only thing that bothered my quite a bit throughout it was the rhythm - the way the poem is cut. It may be just personal opinion, but I do think it's too cut down. The only stanza in which I think the rhythm worked was in the sixth stanza. The way it's cut down, nor only does it make it harder to read, but also makes the poem seem longer, which generally isn't something wanted.

I think the concept is something rather common, though I liked the personality twist you gave to it, most evident in the last stanza. Overall, I do consider it a nice poem ;D

This poem was very intersting, I love how the narrator potrayed different emotions, mostly the sadness of not having anyone in their happily ever after. The thing that was a little problem for me, was the flow of the poem when you read it out loud. It didn't quite work for me. But that could be just me. haha. other than that keep up the good work. good luck and happy writing!!!

This is an interesting poem. It describes very well how a person doesn't have anybody in her "happily ever after". I can feel every emotion that she is feeling as she watches them. Good work!

I love it! this was so sweet and simple and true. I especially love your ending. there is an ending for you. It was so cool, and inspiring in a way. I mean, this sounds like a breakup poem, but it's not just sad and moody, it's hopeful, and it isn't about the guy. Which I really like. And the references to them are cool, it gives the poem a story feel, while still being mostly an emotional poem. If that makes any sense. Anyway, great job!

I really liked this poem, and thought that it was quite tastefully done. Its very sad, and I thought that perhaps the ending was a little too empty. You could try adding in some comparisons between fairytale characters and them; but thats just a suggestion. I liked the style and thought that you did non-rhyming very well.