The One

Spoiler

I was by no means sad when I wrote this; I was simply in the mood to write something dark!

I am the one with no direction,
Whose path is now broken and diverged;
The one who writes his promises in sand,
And disregards the stone and chisel, so strongly urged.

I am the one with no remorse,
Whose righteousness begs, pleads, and bleeds;
The one who acts on his savage impulse,
And counts not blessings, but dark misdeeds.

I am the one with no recognition,
Whose reflection is but an unknown within an unknown;
The one who runs from his own shadow,
And cries for redemption, a new path to be shown.

2011 Vincent Cuccolo

This is a pretty cool poem! I like to see your poems. I don't have any negative feedback for you. I like the descriptions and how you rhymed it.

First off, I would like to say that you're wording is absolutely beautiful in this piece. The way you set up each stanza and the subject matter in general is flawless. I read it once and was too absorbed to look for errors. But I did notice on my second read that in the first stanza at least, you use a semicolon. I just recently got a giant lecture on those, so don't feel too bad. But I guess with the semicolon, you have to have a complete sentence on both sides. Which bothers me. But other than minor punctuation errors it's lovely =]