Chapter 7: Rin
She walks in front of me on the way to science. I pause in my walk to see a girl, Rachael, trip her. I scowl, wondering why they couldn’t just leave her alone. She had been gone two weeks. I had wondered where she had been. Part of me worries if she had been hurt but I couldn’t see any bandages. Was she sick? Did she just have something personal? I knew she lived in the Orphanage; since many kids teased her, relentlessly on it.
I watch her stick up for herself, tears spilling down her face. I bit my lip; worrying. I wanted to ask her something, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. The words trapped inside my mind as class began to drag on. I watch the teacher do the notes on the board. As he did so; I saw her writing her own but also I could see her drawing.
Curiously, I looked at it. I was amazed by how much detail she put into it. It was truly breathtaking. The colors just seemed to tie together. I quickly drew my attention back to my notes; ripping out the corner and scribbled a note. Stuffing it in my jacket pocket I waited, patiently, for Math.
I was the first out of science and into Math. I quickly chose my seat in the back. I chose my spot as the old and falling apart desk that has seen better days. As I sat I watched as Alexis and Lucy come rushing in, their eyes bright with laughter. Deep inside I longed for that closeness to another. My fingers clutched the letter tightly in my pocket. Nervously, I handed it to one of the other kids, whispering shakily, “Can you pass this to Alexis?”
I watched the smug and gleeful look as he glanced at the folded up note. With a smirk and he handed it up. Deep inside I felt my rage bubbling. ‘Why can’t they stop treating her like she’s different?? She’s human too!!’ I thought.
I watched as she took the note, a look of suspicion and caution cross her face. I let out a soft sigh, almost giving up on my goal. I saw her stuff it in her backpack. I felt my heart sink and tears filled my eyes. Deep inside my heart; I began to give up.
I continued to keep an eye on her as she finished the packet the teacher assigned. As I worked I couldn’t hear her talking to the teacher. I glanced up to see her fall. Slowly I realized what happened. I stood up, ready to help when I saw Lucy already by her side. Jealousy bubbled inside me; with Lucy always by her side I could never get close enough to her to speak to her, privately.
I watch as Lucy helped her to the Nurse’s office and sighed, softly. I bury myself in my work trying to forget my troubles and namely one person: Alexis. With time I began to worry once again, she missed Gym class, History, and Spanish. As the lunch bell rang I wondered if she was going to be ok. As I walked into lunch and sat down; not eating I saw her walk in. I could see her face and I let out a breath of relief. She looked far more healthier than she did in Science. I watch as she yanked her hand away and snapped at the girl. I could feel the rage boiling inside her. I nearly jumped when the glass shattered.
My eyes widened as I realized what she was. I quickly moved out of the lunch room, sneaking into the English room. My heart thudded, the room was spinning. Shock was freezing me in my spot. ‘There was some else like me! Does that mean they were wrong?’ I thought shakily, my hands clutching my stomach as I doubled over.
Memories played before my eyes like a movie. I felt tears prick at them. Shaking, I slid to the floor; my mind going through all the memories. The pain came rushing back; almost as if it was just now they had happened.
I sat on the porch, a sketchbook balanced on my knees. My fingers smudging the pencil markings so it gave it a certain light. My hands were steady, as I concentrated on working with the strange symbol. It had haunted my dreams for several weeks now and I just had to draw it. There wasn’t any questioning or wondering what it was, I just sketched it.
I heard my parents inside and gave a small smile. The other kids at school seemed to be so sad, especially the new girl in the class, Alexis. My parents though were different, our time together was happy. It was like we lived in a happy movie. Her eyes, though, were always seemed to be sad. It made me want to do something, anything to make her smile. As my thoughts drifted to her, I heard my parents call out, “Izuzu its lunch time!”
I paused in my drawing and shouted back, cheerfully, “Ok Mom!”
I shut my sketchbook carefully, and placed it on the porch. I stood up and ran into the house, reminding myself fiercely that I would need to get it right after lunch so it didn’t get wet by the rain Dad had said would be coming this afternoon.
I rushed into the dining room and sat down. I grinned at my parents, who smiled in amusement. I allowed my father to pass the rice. As I spooned some out and into a bowl, my mom asked, “So how’s school going?”
I grinned at her, excited to tell her my good news, “Its going great!!! I even got an A+ on my math test!!”
My mother smiled, her eyes full of praise as she said, “That’s good. Do you want more rice?:
I shook my head and said, happily, “No I can do it myself! Look what I can do Daddy, Mommy!”
I concentrated hard on my empty rice bowl and wished hard for more. With a faint pop some of the rice from the bowl, halfway down the table disappeared and reappeared in my bowl. I saw something flicker across my parents’ faces. I didn’t know what it was...but in a few minutes I would learn.
My father gave a strained smile saying, “That really good, sweetie.”
I frowned, ‘Why were they not happy about it? It was something only I could do in the family? So why aren’t they happy?’
My mother nodded as well but I could plainly see the look her face, the terror. I couldn’t stand it any longer and cried out in distress, “Isn’t there anything that makes you sad? Why aren’t you happy I can do this?!”
My mother’s face turned cold as she grabbed the bowl and tossed it raging, “We didn’t need you!! Who do you think we did all this for?! You aren’t needed!!”
I sat there, shocked. Tears filled my eyes as I saw the look on my father’s face, he believed it too. They didn’t want me? Then why was I here? I thought, tears spilling unchecked to the ground as my parents stormed out, furious.
I let the bowl fall from my hand, shattering just like my life had just done. The happy family portraits no longer existed. I got from the table and grabbed my sketchbook, watching the sky darken. The rain began to fall, slowly at first, but soon it began to pour. Yet I didn’t move, not even when the chill began to seep into my very soul. No nothing could take away the pain inside, maybe someday they will forgive me....they couldn't really have not wanted me they were my parents.
My fingers curled up and I forced the nausea away as I heard the door open. I turned to see Alexis entering, her eyes seemed brighter now than they were those few years ago. I gave her a weak smile, pushing my emotions back down. I refused to let anyone see what I had become.
She blinked and gave a slight smile back. I smiled, again, and took out my English and asked, “Do you know what we are doing? You’ve been gone for awhile and I don’t want you to get behind.”
She blinked, confused and I could clearly hear what she was thinking. Why would I help her? I mentally shook my head and made a promise to talk to her more...I could feel something that just made me want to ask her if we could be friends. I buried that away, knowing if I asked she’d pull away...just like the others.
She nodded cautiously and said, “I managed to finish the story we had to do, but I didn’t get to the story he assigned us.”
“Charlotte’s Web?” I asked, amused as she grinned. I pulled out my copy and said, “I already finished it. I have already read it before so you can borrow mine.”
She hesitated and took the book from me, whispering, “Thank you, Izuzu.”
I nodded, pulling out my sketchbook and opened to an old page. Together, we sat there in silence, working on our own separate projects. The silence didn’t last long, sadly. The bell rang, signaling the start of class and we both grimaced. As we got up to take our seats, my head spun. I gripped the desk for support. I saw her face flicker with worry before I regained control. I quickly went to my desk.
The class passed quickly with Alexis answering many of the questions. I smiled to myself, knowing she’d be alright even without my help. She was smart.
Soon the last class of the day came, Art. Dread began to fill inside me. I felt my calm emotional mask beginning to crack as it came closer and closer to going home. I let my thoughts take over as I pushed away the feelings.
Soon the day ended and I found myself walking home. ‘Will things ever go back to normal? Can they ever forgive me for what I am?’ I thought, foolishly, as I finally got to my block.
As I stood outside my house, I began to fret. Fear clawed at me, I didn’t want to go back inside. I didn’t want to wish that they would forgive me and come to them still hating me. I bit my lip and allowed my emotions to be held in tightly as I slowly opened the door.
