1. Prologue

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 7
My Life as a Teenage Dragon
Prologue

You know what I really hate? Waking up in the morning. You know what I hate even more? Waking up on a Monday morning. But there’s still something that I hate the most. It’s waking up on a Monday morning when you’ve fought an evil dragon the previous night.
I…really think that I should tell you the end of my story in the, well…end of my story, 'cause…that’s where it’s supposed to be…sorry.
Now let’s see, how do I start? Ah. This looks promising.
Hi. My name’s Adam Armstrong. No, I’m not related to the first moon landing in any way. But it does put my name in the “Interesting names” list. I’m seventeen years of age. I have an eight year old female monster of a sister.
I live in a small suburban area of a small town called Daunting creek somewhere along the outskirts of Chicago. I know it’s a weird name for a place, but hey I didn’t name it.
Stop judging, it’s just a name. It’s a really small place and most of its expenses are covered by the local hospitals and universities. That’s one of the reasons I really like the town, most of the people here are really smart so there aren’t a lot of wise guys here, another reason why the name is insignificant.
The place is usually very quiet and peaceful, except for occasional supersonic races and monster attacks.
Aw, shoot.
I really need to work on my story telling skills. Let’s just forget that I said anything out of the ordinary and move on with the story.
I go to the local high school, Lime Street high. It’s no Harvard but is pretty decent when my previous schools are concerned; and believe me, I’ve gone through an awful lot of schools.
I’ve been in Daunting since the past two years and it’s still rocking my life, although my first year in the place was not so…well, normal. I came here in the gorgeous fall of daunting. It was one of the weirdest times of my life.
You know what; I think this is where I’m going to start my story, that cool evening of August.
Last edited by mrawesome on Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 58
It seems like it's flowing fast.

I caught this as interesting since I'm writing a short story about a teenage boy who is a dragon.

It seems interesting enough though I will follow you and see what happens in the story.
90% of writing is re-writing!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 7
Woah, well what d'you know, my first review. Thanks!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 30301
Reviews 770
hey there mrawesome.

Cool name by the way! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this, apparently I wasn't getting my usual notifications that I've had a request *sigh* But I'm here now!

First off, I'd like to mention formatting. You need to space up your chapters or it's going to make for a really long read. The easy way to do that is: when you submit a chapter, below the text block, below the submit button, you'll see something written: Special formatting. If you click on 'story', it'll fix it up for you. Easy, eh?

Ok, next. Your MC's voice is really good. I smiled at his voice. Nicely done.

I have an eight year old female monster of a sister.
I think this is the only sentence that really bothered me. First, may I ask, is this in a fantasy setting? If yes, it's in the wrong forum. Let me know, I can change it. Second of all, you mentioned a dragon from the bat. Then a monster sister. Is she really a monster, or an annoying much younger sister? That is something that should be mentioned.

Also, in the last paragraph, you mention Daunting several times which makes it a tad repetitive. Try rearranging it into a smoother flow, ok?

I'm usually not a fan of prologues unless it's absolutely necessary for the story. Not sure this one is, but it amused me because the voice was quite strong and good and because it reminded me of the beginning of the Percy Jackson series. Have you read them?

Anywho, that was it. Hope it helps and I'm off to the first chapter!

Tanya :D



Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
— Voltaire