Fallen

Very good. i loved this and very enlightening. Sighs* I'm going to have to do homework lols. I still love this. Good job and hope to see more haha. This is very descriptive and beautiful. I can't wait to read more of your works. Good luck and Happy Writing!!!! Keep up the good work^^
Soulkana<3

Amazing poem. Very deep and entrancing, almost sort of like a black silk. Eew, now you see why I'm not the poet XP

The imagery in this poem is fantastic: you take the audience on a whirlwind tour of heaven and earth, and to say it's beautiful.

The meaning of your poem can be interpreted in so many different aspects: which is a great feat for poets, because it means people will read it again and again and again.

All in all, an extraordinary poem, you are a true poet. I hope to see more of your work soon!

Wow, this gave me the chills! Amazing. I agree, it was like black silk!
There really isn't anything helpful I feel I can say. The rhyme was good; didn't seem forced or unnatural. It was just beautiful!

Overall I liked this much better than the other poem of yours I reviewed. You're very good at creating a rhyme without sounding forced, a talent I can honestly say I don't have. I just have a couple nitpicks.

Is where I stand, locked in a conflicting place
An angel without wing
An angel who cannot sing
Whose songs shall never ring

First off, I think you should replace "conflicting" with "conflicted". It makes more sense in the context both here and when you use it later. Secondly, I think you should remove the line "An angel who cannot sing". It's not needed when you have the following line and just adds repetition that doesn't really work. Thirdly, wings should be plural. It's distracting to the reader when you leave an "s" off simply for the sake of the rhyme. You do something similar earlier in the poem when you discuss the "pearly gate". This seems off to me, the reader, because that image has always been the "pearly gates" whenever I've seen it used.

Overall, I think you did a lovely job on this poem. A couple minor changes would help it be even better. Keep writing!

I changed the gate to gates and wing to wings, as well as conflicting to conflicted, but I liked the ring line so I just changed it so it would fit better. Now it sounds like that is a continuation to the sing line.

I liked it a lot, two things though. You say "he" and"his" a lot, and seeing as this is a piece about fallen angels, I'm assuming you mean God or some higher being? If that's the case, capitalizing the "H" would really help. Also, around the last stanza, after "Among the fallen" I was kinda confused as to where you were going...the ending wasn't very clear. But I like the topic, and the way you wrote it for the most part, interesting piece. =)

Very good. Perfect grammar, interesting rhyme scheme. I had trouble with the meter at first, but as it went along I really liked it. An interesting story, too... I didn't expect the narrator to be one of the Fallen. An excellent message, beautifully written. Well done.