Sleep-Deprived

My thoughts are in Dutch,
My vision seems very blurred;
I swear, I'm not drunk.

I stayed up until four--
I'm talking about a.m.
The book was so good!

And now I am dead,
Or quite close to being so,
And can't concentrate.

My thoughts are in Dutch,
My vision seems very blurred;
I swear, I'm not drunk.

I stayed up until four--
I'm talking about a.m.
The book was so good!

And now I am dead,
Or quite close to being so,
And can't concentrate.

*I liked the uniqueness of this poem. It comes off that you're trying to describe your feelings and simply cannot. "I swear, I'm not drunk" you say, but how can you be sure? It's hard to describe your feelings, and you feel dizzy... I'm just saying, if you can't describe your feelings, don't rule anything out. You never really know why you feel the way you do. And maybe "drunk" doesn't necessarily mean intoxicated off of alcohol. Maybe you're drunk off something else. At least, this is my view.

Nice grammar. Didn't find anything wrong with that. Just take a second look at your message. Overall, nice work- short and sweet.

Amusing. ^_^ It's something all of us dedicated readers can relate to, and thus made me laugh.

I swear, I'm not drunk. I think the comma is unneeded.

I had to have something to say other than that I enjoyed this XD. But I know it's not meant for serious critiquing.

~BTM